Sunday, August 27, 2006

The greatest joy in the world: a place called home.

Home… this word can have many definitions. To some of us, it can be a place where we rest, to others it can be where they are at peace. To some others, it can be where their loved ones reside. It can be where people are most comfortable. It can be where tears roll down, a place of worship, a place of joy, a place to sing, a place to think, plan, decide. Or a place where personal history is crafted.

My definition of a home can be best be described by the following. Some of us come to realize that we know no such place. And sometimes yearn for what others call home. In the many poems written about home, I take refuge in knowing and dreaming that perhaps someday, one day, I will belong in a place called home.

For 27 years I had been searching not knowing what it was.
I thought it was fame, thought it was fortune, thought it was glory.
None seem to ease the tension that made me search for more.
Alas, I realize… all my life, I have been searching for a place called home.

These lines mean a lot to me. Along with this realization comes the release of emotions that have eluded me for so long. Better late than never they say!

I have spent the past weeks pondering and literally stepping into low gear. Not wanting to blog, not wanting to talk, not wanting to go places, but just wanting to be alone. Some of those I know, understood, but some, did not. But that’s okay, for it was a great investment in myself. No cost I reckon can equal the benefit of gaining personal insight.

Home I guess, I where the heart is. But, what do you do if you don’t have any such place? Where do you then keep your heart safe? Where then do call a home? I guess for now, I shall never know the answers to these questions. But, perhaps, I have moved a step forward in knowing that I yearn for a place to call home.


tessa said...

home is where and what you want it to be... it doesn't need to be a concrete cube, a cubicle or an acre of land... home's YOU.


i'm glad you're back...

love always,

Steph said...

Home is where the heart is, where love lies...Home is always there only when you make the choice to feel its existence.

I hear you nevertheless.

I hope someday you will find love, joy and peace in a place call home. I hope someday you will find someplace/someone where/who you can keep your heart safe and know that you belong.

The fact that you open up this much to share this entry even though it is not an easy thing to do, shows how much this means to you. Just knowing what lies beneath your heart is not just a step forward, but a HUGE step forward.

You trully inspire me :).

Dr. Deborah Serani said...

Home is a space where you can feel safe, nutured and loved. For some it is a physical space, with walls and all. For others, it is an internal emotional space that comforts.

I often retreat to the internal place, so I can relate to your need for "cocooning" yourself. Just so glad you emerged again.

:) Deb

siewlan said...


astrorat said...

Dear tessa,

You are right, but need i say more if the heart doesn’t belong.

dear steph,

:) thanks for the comment.. its an honor sharing moments such as this with you.

dear dr. d,

I really am touched by your comments. thank you so much for coming by even when i had not posted. It does mean a lot.

dear siewlan,

*hugs back*