ASTRORAT IS TRAIL BLAZING

Whats up rat? - short monologue

2011-08-23T11:43:00.000+08:00

So whats up dear Rat? Chasing space monkies are we?

Brand spanking year!

2010-01-26T16:40:00.000+08:00

2010 is going to be a fantastic spanking uber cool mega successful year!

Here's to new start to blogging... ;)

Human Rights

2008-12-01T14:11:00.003+08:00

Friend and fellow blogger, K*, reminds us of a very interesting quote from Eleanor Roosevelt.

"Where, after all, do universal human rights begin? In small places, close to
home, so close and so small that they cannot be seen on any map of the world.
Yet they are the world of the individual person: the neighbourhood he lives in;
the school or college he attends; the factory, farm or office where he works.
Such are the places where every man, woman and child seeks equal justice, equal
opportunity, equal dignity without discrimination. Unless these rights have
meaning there, they have little meaning anywhere. Without concerted citizen
action to uphold them close to home, we shall look in vain for progress in the
larger world. "

We want change....

2008-11-14T17:43:00.008+08:00

That statement moved Barak Obama into becoming the 44th president of the United States. Given Americas fantastic white supremist history, this would be a mark of a true democracy and a mature society. Alternatively, it could also mean that the number of white people are dwindling around the world! J

The worlds as we know it today, is waking up to a very different drum beat. Perhaps this time, we would see jazz at its finest. Everyone wants to try out the syncopated scores produced by Obama.

We want change… we want change… I want change….

It occurred to me, that every body both strive for and fear change. Our greatest desire is to do things differently, be different, feel different. We spend hundreds of dollars anything that makes us feel good. Be it a new car, new paint job, addition to the landscape to the garden, our hair styles… you name it.. we want change. I reckon that the most constant element of our lives is our propensity to desire change.

However, on the flip side, the human kind at most times display a deep-rooted inertia towards acting on our desire to change. Driven by fear, this inertia drives us to remain status quo. We accept the very thing that we desire to change the most. We secretly tell ourselves that the consequence of failing in attempting change is too great. We remind ourselves that “at this moment” we need to remain perfectly still for else change can some how… mysteriously... hurt you…

We blame a real or imagined economic crisis. We cite financial commitments… we site personal relationships… we point to a million other reasons why we should not change. Of course, this fear to change acts on different people at widely varying degrees. Some fear as if it was from the dark side, while some seek out the exhilarating experience that the thrill of change produces.

As I sit down a busy food court pondering my own imminent change I realize that change is the single most powerful human asset. Self directed change empowers us. To make decisions for oneself is feel like a bungee free fall in the dark. The fear that you are probably going to crack your skull open while accelerating towards that big fat mass called earth, and knowing that the calculated risk would lead to a new level of experience cannot be substituted to discussions of change.

Obama dared take that plunge and it is that very boldness and absolute resolve to live life out loud that got so many Americans who secretly desired change plunge in with him. Now together, he paints the white house black! Yay ‘bama!

In my own life, I have stated at change every now and then. If you had read prior posts, you would know about the stories of my many many change experiences that took place early on in my life. But, then somewhere between growing a few greys and finding the love of my life (that’s for another post) I lost my “change” plot. It took a great guy like Obama and a little bit of reckless brutish behavior to put change into full throttle.

I am acting on change. Once again, I find my self a nice little cross road. I am reminded of the book “the road less traveled”. But, unlike the plot in the book, this time I am knocking on the toll gates to a very different road… this time, I know what road I don’t want to be though.

The coffee tastes great again!

Heres to a beautiful life!

I roar… I AM CHANGE! *grrrrr* :)

Malaysian Artists for Unity

2008-05-22T14:54:00.003+08:00

Here's why Malaysian artists rock!

Friends, I present to you: Malaysian artists for unity – Here in my home

To corporate… or not to…

2008-04-30T13:52:00.004+08:00

It has been awhile since I last posted here: I make no excuse for it. I was simply not able to put the ideas onto the white area on my screen. Not due to the lack of ideas, but the due to the lack of energy to think though ideas, and explain them in a clear, concise, and meaningful manner.

I made an assumption about the corporate world some time ago, and that I can now prove wrong. This assumption that the being a corporate citizen would be an opportunity to do all things that’s imaginative, creative, and extra-ordinary. While this may be true to an extent that you are crating all things business, it does not hold true at the realm of personal life. Reality however is that mundane is the call for the day – and most times especially when you are at a junior level. Cognitive excellence or the perusal of tasks that challenge the psyche, in my opinion, is sidelined. The result is the slow and steady erosion of the energy required to churn out great ideas.

Here are 7 insights that can help you lead a more meaningful working environment

1. Teach the business: This is a great way to keep people stimulated (legally). Allow people to take time to understanding the business model, its strategies, its people, its clients, customers, and competition. This process helps gain vital insights that most people have no access to. Get to know what happens behind the scenes and become an expert of the business.

2. Contributing ideas: Corporate organizations are most often guilty of failing to listen to junior employees. Junior employees are sometimes blatantly ignored and are told to concentrate on the assigned task while the more “senior” staff focuses on strategy. That kind of process only goes as far as to maintain the status of those higher up in the ladder and does absolutely nothing to develop and engage junior talent.

3. Direct involvement of functional managers in training, mentoring, and encouraging employees: This should be happen at all levels. Managers must make it a point to personally see that junior employees link functional activities with the organizations goals in meaningful ways.

4. Spot top talent early and move them rapidly: A complacent manager will wait until their top-talent resigns to offer a promotion or position. Teams must learn how to promote a fast-raiser fast. Meritocracy is important here – waiting in line would only mean that those in the back (top-talents) would find alternate organizations who are willing to give them the fast pace recognition.

5. Invest in their talents: Statements such as “head-office does not approve”; “we are cost-cutting” (that’s grammatically incorrect though); or “we have no budget” should never be used. Investing in the development of talent should never be compromised or substituted.

6. When you say “9 to 5”, mean it: While organizations boast of a work life balance (or work life integration), they rarely do enough to actively push for a meaningful agenda that supports either of those initiatives. Teams need to pay attention to employees who tend to work late – that behavior should never be condoned nor encouraged but frowned upon. The reason being that silence breeds an environment that encourages a 9-10 work culture.

7. Realistic stretch assignments: While stretch assignments are becoming a buzz work in the workplace, there is a thin line between what is stretch and what is overwork. The word “stretch” is more often being defined though the idiosyncratic perceptions of various team leads. Define “Stretch” that is mutually agreed upon. Make stretch fun.

I still struggle to answer the original question: to corporate or not to corporate. While research and training can be real fun, perhaps I can find a middle ground.

Goodbye Granna: Words in memory of you

2007-12-31T11:59:00.000+08:00

Ayubovan Granna…. We are gathered here today to celebrate your life… in memory of your journey through this world… Gathered here today are your closest family; Uncle Arul, Aunty Julie, Shireen, me, and of course your favourite… Loraine.

Also here with you today are all the people who love you and care for you. Your Nieces, Nephews, Grand Nieces, Grand Newpews, and friends.

At this very moment, cherishing your friendship are all the people who have been blessed to have crossed your path at some point in their lives, and whos lives have been enriched by that crossing.

Your family come from all over the world, you are indeed quite popular. Your only surviving sister loves you. Your nieces and nephews, who speak endless heroic stories about you, on one hand miss you but on the other celebrate you being called to be with your creator.

We all wonder if heaven is really as nice as our beloved father Andrew/Valentine says it is. I’m sure granna you are experiencing it right now!

Granna, I am privileged to stand here and be able to speak about your life. Thank you for giving me that honour. You have always known me as the monkey in the family. On this fantastic day, we are honoured to take a moment to talk though what you meant to us.

Unknown to me – and perhaps most of us here – you came into this world and continued living it with the vigour of a fighter. You were brave… Much braver than any one of us here. In the year 1950, you sailed the ocean into an unknown land in search of love. Though the love you were searching for did not materialize, you won the hearts of many many people. Your ability to make hard decisions and live by your dreams is admired by us. Your resilient-sprit is a lesson to us all of how we can, even in the presence of adversity, strive and excel.

Granna… We are awed by your strength and your will to go beyond expectations. To work harder than everyone else. To achieve greatness in your capacity, when everyone thought it was impossible. You started your career as a teacher in the small town of Mantin in Negeri Sembilan and against all odds you taught yourself stenography and changed careers eventually joining the Ministry of Lands and Mines. You awed everyone around you with your involvement in the government servants union.You brought meaning to us by translating the saying “anything you can do, I can do better”. Better put, you showed us, that “anything a man can do, a woman can do better”.

In 1975, after a difficult time in your life, you received a special apostolic blessing from his holiness Pope Paul the 6th. While on the same pilgrimage, you were blessed with the opportunity to experience a miracle at Lourdes. Later in life, you were blessed with the opportunity to meet the holy teacher “Sai Baba” and was privileged to revive his blessings. This multitude of experiences is reflective of the deep respect you had for people. While maintaining the undying love for Christ, you respected the great teachers on earth. At a time when world peace is only being spoken about, you showed us how this is practiced.

In 1978 you played an instrumental part in bringing our beloved aunty Julie to Malaysia. The indian-motherly instinct kicked in immediately and you match-made her to Uncle Arul. You continued playing a huge part of their lives. You witnessed the birth of their beautiful daughters. You were involved in raising them, and saw them grow. You could not have done this if you had not felt anything but love.This taught us the importance of love and the family. It meant that our families learnt from you to pass the fire of love. You showed us that love is only meaningful when it is shared.

One day, I was sitting in your room, listening as you were telling me your life story. You were proud of you achievements and your experiences. You told me detailed accounts of your trips, your boyfriends, and your life. However, you shocked me when you suddenly said, “raam, you are always in my prayers”.There was a moment where I could hear my own heart beat faster and faster. Even though, I am agnostic, these words meant so much. What could I have done to deserve it? It was coming from a lady who’s a giant in experiences compared to me. I was by any shot, 50 years away. Perhaps you sensed my discomfort, but you would have none of that. With near slow deliberate words, as your frail hands adjusted the strap on your diaper, you uttered again. “each day I say my prays, I pray for you”.

I am not going to even interpret why, what or how I made sense of that. I want to bask in the complete joy that these words brought me as I in your room that day…

On the morning of December 29th you were blessed with an event that you had been preparing for, for sometime. As I understand it, your soul shed its physical body like a butterfly shedding its cocoon. You transitioned to a higher state of being where you continue to grow spiritually. As the sun sets in our world, enriching our lives with the beautiful amber hues, you continue to shine, in the paradise that you always dreamt of.

Good-bye Granna, we love you.

My dear family and friends. I would like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you on behalf of our family. Uncle Alfread, Aunty Maurine, Charmaine, Shaun and dear members of our BEC your emotional and physical support during this time has been a pillar of strength to all of us. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

I would like to leave today’s celebrations with a poem penned by St. Augustine. I dedicate this poem to all of you.

Love never disappears for death is a non-event.
I have merely retired to the room next door.
You and I are the same; what we were for each other, we still are.
Speak to me as you always have, do not use a different tone, do not be sad.
Continue to laugh at what made us laugh. Smile and think of me.
Life means what it has always meant.
The link is not severed.
Why should I be out of your soul if I am out of your sight?
I will wait for you, I am not here, but just on the other side of this path.
You see, all is well.

Thank you.

We bid farewell...

2007-12-06T04:04:00.000+08:00

Dad slipped away in the morning of December 5th, 2007. This post is a tribute to his journey in life. Mom was feeding him, when he slept off, never to wake. I take solace in knowing that his transition was peaceful.

Not sure if there ever can be a perfect good bye. I am on my way back to Sri Lanka to observe final rights.

I am not sure I want to see him in a state any different from the many memories that I have of him. Not sure if that is what he wants from me either.

I am privileged to have with me the company of my family. They are a huge strength to me as I am to them. I am honoured to have the support of my friends. Most of all, I am grateful for memories that I have of Dad.

I wish I were able to do more.

I feel numb.

Psychology in the Asian Workplace

2007-11-20T14:59:00.000+08:00

Sometime back i wrote about the fantastic journey that started at the mega-corporate. That journey continues to bring excitement. As i look back over the past 9 months, and shuffle through the numbness of how work sometimes stifles creativity, I ponder about the many reasons why its becomes so darn difficult to write a decent blog while working.

During lunch last week (and numerous other times) i was asked if i “can read minds”. I had an ah haa moment at that point, that showed me that people no matter how “modern” they claim to be, have no freaking clue who a psychologist is. At least not in Malaysia. This my friends is REALITY.

I am in a position to educate people about this special kind of mind readers. Morons, psychologists don’t read minds. Yes, they do become very sensitive to inferring subtle behaviors that might otherwise be missed out.

As a student of psychology, i would like to dedicate today’s post to explain how I/O psychologists evolved, what they currently do, how they can add value to a organization, and what the future is for I/O psychology in Malaysia.

I/O Psychologists are people are interested to study the interaction (Thoughts, feelings, and Behaviors) between humans (who sometimes act like animals) and the workplace. Why? Because more and more organizations realize that human capital development directly influences the bottom line. The humble I/O psychologist belongs to this ambitions group.

Industry perception of the I/O Psychologist has been not been positive, specially in growing markets such as Asia, where industries are motivated by cheep labor and a general inadequacy of legislation relating to employee health and wellbeing. Psychologists are thus, perceived as people with lot of “fluff” (mumbo jumbo at best) with no real operational experience.

The purpose of this article is to provide psychology students like my self some realistic background on what we can offer an organization and how best can I/O psychologists add to the organizations value proposition.

The Development of I/O Psychology:

The history of I/O psychology can be traced back to a time frame during the industrial revolution. It was at this time, when the research question relating to how an organization is able to effectively manage many thousand employees arose. Though the setting of this early history was derived from systematically observing manual labor, around the factory setting, and then redesigning the workflow, the basic premises of this theoretic model became the building blocks of modern I/O Psychology.

During World War 1, the focus of I/O Psychologists made a major shit in focus and dealt with the question of which people should be hired to perform all the new jobs created. Of course, by this time, the industrial revolution and the society that supported it, was changing radically. Un-validated tests measuring cognitive ability, psychomotor, and personality was developed. These tests would later lay the foundations to I/O psychology. The modern form of hiring experts are born.

As i write this blog, WWIII has come and gone. Society has changed. “work” has been redefined over and over in complex ways. The need for professionals understanding human performance in the workplace and determining how to best hire and promote employees became most important.

So how do these special breed of Psychologists add value to an organization? I have listed below areas in which an I/O Psychologist is able to add value.

The organization understands that strategic development and management of a business does need the help of a scientist. Case studies of compliance issues in the area of racial discrimination, social justice etc, are areas that Psychologists spend years training. Psychologists are also better able to communicate and change existing cultures. Being architects of human behavior adds value to the globalization of work. Psychologists everywhere are increasing the dialogue between very senior management and junior employees by representing the complexities of each side to the other in a manner that is understandable.

So, if you are pondering, “How can a I/O Psychologist really add value in the HR function”, below is a list that can help you bring some understanding. I will not go indepth into each area as they deserve write ups by them selves.

The grand list, and by no means exhaustive, is:

-Recruiting and Staffing
-Leadership Development
-Training and Development
-Performance Management
-Compensation
-Organizational Development
-Survey Work
-Change Management
-Counseling
-Workplace Violence
-Employee Wellness
-Statistical Analysis and Methodologies

So, is there a future if you become a I/O Psychologist in Asia?

In Asia, probably not. Not for the next 10-15 years. Global organizations choose regions such as Asia for the simple reason of it being cheaper than else where. Hence, it is highly unlikely that organizations would be too keen on hiring expensive specialists in this region.

But, that’s no reason why you should not become an I/O psychologist. Entrepreneurs are now turning to Psychologists for ideas to solve the work problem of a modern Asia.

In addition, there is a boom in mid size organizations taking on the services of the I/O psychologist to boom. Mid size HR research organizations, Organizational change management companies, etc all look for the specific talents that these students of psychology carry with them.
The perception of the Psychologist will soon change in Malaysia as key regional players such as Singapore, Japan, and AnZ push forward with advanced forms of human capital management.

If you feel differnt about the development of I/O psychology in Asia, then pls share your thoughts.

Sunset in Sri Lanka : A Tribute

2007-11-03T18:09:00.001+08:00

As i read Eugene O’Kellys book “Chasing daylight” my thoughts drift to my own dad who like Eugene once did, stands at the edge of darkness. Like for Eugene, Dad has been taken over by a tumor that is about the size of a baseball. Unlike Eugene though, Dads condition is marked with profound confusion and pain.

Days pass, and as i reflect on my own journey so far, it is hard not to search for the meaning that life as we know it offers. As my days with the giant corporate pass by, i increasingly feel more and more numb about the things that i once used to love doing. I am reminded a close friends favorite quote (perhaps from Eugenes own wisdom), “begin with the end in mind”. Had dad known that his end would be turbulent, how different would he have lived his life? I wonder then if this perhaps in his own way, is his own life lesson for me.

Dad is not my hero. He lived in a way that pleased him. His decisions on his own desires. In many ways he lived a life that of his own. Unlike Eugene, he didn’t want to share his lessons, encourage, or be inclusive. Dad is private. His relationship was very much absent from my own life, yet, perhaps he thought me the profoundest lesson, of all what i should never be to my own children. Perhaps then, ironically, his influence on me is deep. When you juxtapose the influence of experience and consequential learning that follows, you derive meaning of a future that in which his influence has been nothing short of magnificent.

Dad moves towards the end of his book. The final chapter teaches me that i need to live each day of my life and only then will my book bring meaning in the end.

I held my fathers hands for the first time ever (he has never held mine). He squeezes them tight and his tears start rolling. He and I both know that his final chapter is magnificent.

Connecting with nature

2007-05-13T00:43:00.000+08:00

Connecting with nature: Perth, Australia, April 2007

Swayed

2007-05-10T23:43:00.000+08:00

I wonder if there is "social" discrimination in the job market. Do HR leaders make hires based on the way you speak, where you live, or where you were educated? And at what levels are this kind of selection most likely to be prevalent? At a recent career fair that saw the participation of a large number of organizations, i could not help but wonder, how different people make their hiring decisions.

I feel that social discrimination is very often disguised as businesses attempt to find the "right cultural fit". This process in my opinion includes hiring candidates of specific socio-economic status by recruiting people from a certain area.

Though it is mostly illegal to discriminate on the basis of social origin, it is difficult to prove that no social discrimination takes place during the application and selection process.

A good recruiter then, becomes aware of this biases, and will actively refuse to recruit people based on social demographics. Reality of hiring, i think, is far from that.

Social discrimination is explained in psychology in terms of perceptions and stereotypes. These really are snap judgments based on pre-conceived ideas which may or may not be accurate.

Though the attributes of top performers are numerous, no research points to factors such as where you grew up, the school you went to, or whether you speak the kind of English that is befitting of….. Sadly however, there is an unspoken barrier built by the folks hiring, that is still present ... This is particularly in law, finance, and consulting.

Research shows however, that social discrimination becomes less prevalent in senior positions, because by that time, employers are hiring on proven capabilities or existing networks.

So, do recruiters or the strategies they employ discriminate based on sex, and age? The answer, at least on an implicit level, is: yes, they do. While mature candidates are seen as outdated or set in their ways, there is some truth to the saying that “sex sells”. In the work place, it helps being in the fairer sex if you wanted something done. At the career fair, i quickly realized that women tend to have longer interviews as compared to men. I don’t mean to interpret the difference in lenth of interview in terms of the quality it represents. But, really, why should there be a difference in the first place?

In terms of the age, mature candidates should ideally be a valuable resource to organizations. Though, there are other challenges such as an older employee feeling isolated in an office of younger colleagues, organizations tend to favor younger employees.

So when can one rightfully feel discriminated against?

I think the reasoning to this answer will be found in a scenario when a person has gone through the process and agreed to whatever's been described to them but feel they're not getting an honest answer when they're trying to find out why they weren't successful in the first place.

The answer to the question on another level could be overly philosophical and less practical. However, it is an questions to which i have no answer.

Happy weekend everyone!

Graduate Leadership Program @ GE

2007-04-23T23:41:00.000+08:00

GE International Inc (in Malaysia) recently announced the start of its esteemed Internship program "Graduate Leadership Program" or GLP. GE was is on the lookout for talented final year and graduating students from graduating from Malaysian Universities.

GLPs or Interns are said to have an opportunity to work on GEs business, and gain valuable experience. The program is structured in such a way that it really kick starts anyone’s career. In addition to training, GLPS have an opportunity to be mentored and learn from the best in the industry.

If you want a career in Finance, Human Resources, or Engineering and if you are tired of internships that make you file documents and the morning news paper with coffee for some fat guy, then you should be applying to for the GLP.

The level of empowerment that GE offers to its GLPs cannot be matched in the industry. If you are up for a challenge, then send your resume to internship.malaysia (at) ge.com
Sources tell me that admission is not easy.

Besides setting the benchmark at a basic CGPA of 3.3/4 GE also demands for leadership experience during your university tenure. Go for it!

Crystal ball career advice:

2007-04-05T13:40:00.000+08:00

Universities and career guidance centers get ahead of themselves by harping on drum that is now off beat. What on earth am i talking about? I am worried about the extensive use of type indicators, personality indicators, and standardized testing instruments to help undergraduate students make career decisions. In theory, you answer a few questions in a few minutes, the administrator plugs your number on a computer, clicks some buttosn, *make machine noise here* and pronto, your life is explained. Like the mysterious magic ball, career counselors too can tell you where you are most likely going to head.

However, the problem is that the logic used by the so called personality inventories, are in my opinion, flawed.

It all starts like this: Personality tests like the MBTI made in the US are very conveniently imported to countries like Malaysia. The western models of career counseling is applied vigorously. The counselors boast of personal accreditations from prestigious organizations like the American Psychological Association, *insert list here* If you have not noticed anything wrong with this picture, it is because you think that the people of the world are made of Americans, and only Americans. You don’t see anything wrong because you think that the million plus cultures are very much like yours. And you are dead wrong in making that assumption. Why?

In the west, the Mother of all assumptions is made(at least in the case of career placement): it is assumed that matching personality and work interest is the best way to determine a good career fit. But this does not have to be so. Though this seems like a logical deduction, In the Asian, career choices are largely based on a family or group dynamics. An Asian student may choose to become a doctor because his families esteem or his communities esteem depends on it. Thus, in collectivistic cultures, individual choices may be given up for group choices. Though they may see “dependant” and unable to make their own choices, to think other wise is to deny cultural heritages, and is a demonstration of cultural tunnel vision.

What’s interesting is that current research originating from the America and Europe identify this gap, and have proposed strategies to overcome it. For example, research ideas now point to measuring the degree to which people are able to adopt to various jobs as a function of a good-career fit. The new models admit that people inherently change and thus, identify change as a key variable. Sadly, this development is yet to reach Asia.

Then there is the assumption made by the test, which makes it flawed in its very assumption of human nature. Tests assume that personalities is static: They assume that People do not change. They assume that people are static totem poles with predefined and robot like personalities defined largely at birth or in few years spent as an adolescent.

Reality however is far from that. People, by their very nature, are changing everyday. The well known verse “all the worlds a stage, and all the people the actors” is best used. The current personality inventories assume that “all the people play the same parts, over and over and over and over and over”. People are able to adopt, change, wear masks, learn though experience, and people are uniquely about to change each day.

My desire is to drive psychology in the Asian context. My desire is to adopt personality types that are flexible enough to encompass the complex cultural forms that is seen (if you choose to see) in this region. My desire is to bring awareness of the potential pitfalls, issues, conflicts, and problems that the application of the western chop-block-model brings to our clients in Asia.

Peace!

Living and dreaming

2007-03-11T16:29:00.000+08:00

Several times I caught my self thinking to my self. A kind of self-processing, as if caught by an mental loop. An imagination of sorts. It happened to me before, and now its happening again. The ramifications of these moments of self absorbed and self processing this time is different to the moments during all the other summer internships. This time, its not an internship, but a full time position with the world most admired organization.

I am now work with GE International in Malaysia. An opportunity which I feel blessed to have. GE for those of you who may not know has been fortunes most admired organization. Its strategy has been one of innovation, imagination, invention. GE is a learning organization, one that is continuously changing.

I lead many exciting projects at GE. I am developing an internship program, I am conducting research about the characteristics of a leader, I am working on logistical issues, and most of all, I am having fun doing it!

With this new opportunity, I shall be changing the focus of this blog to suit the work that I am currently on. If you are wondering whats happening to my plans to become a psychologist, well, all I can say is.. they are still that… plans… I am attending a couple of courses in the evenings, but will have to put that on hold so that I can concentrate on work. With the focus set to I/O or work psych, and the opportunity at GE looks exciting.

My dear readers: I am currently working on doing research of what makes an organizational leader. Please feel free to share your views on what it takes to become a leader. I would like to hear what you think are traits, or characteristics that leaders have. What sets them apart from the rest.

Till next time!

Beyond the Resume: Getting an Interview and Surviving it!

2007-02-12T12:57:00.000+08:00

When you right after college, and are in the quest to find your first job, the first thing you do is to mass email resumes to every email that resembles hr@...... That i feel is the first big mistake that you can make.

If you are reading this article, and have not read the article on creating a resume, then i recommend that you read this first.

Firstly, do not mass mail organizations for your email will either end up in junk or get deleted. Organizations have peculiar, fragile, and vulnerable personalities. They like to think that you have thought about why you want to join them seriously and expect some demonstration of that dedication in your applications. It’s like asking a girl/boy to start a relationship with you. If you ask any random person (will you be my bf/gf), then s/he is most likely going to reject you on the grounds that you did not make her/him feel special. Organizations are no different in wanting to feel special.

If you are working with an agency/job bank then ask the agency all the relevant questions you can think of about the organization. Remember they will give you lots of information provided that you ask. Further, look at the organizations website and if possible try to get any brochures or other marketing material from the organization.

Sometimes we tend not to take this step seriously. Time and again, i have been asked at the interview “soo…. Tell me/us what you know about my/our organization”. If you find this happening to you, heres your chance to tell them that you know in-depth about their organization. It will help them gauge that they are special and not just another ‘item’ on your list. Besides, it’s a golden opportunity for you to do some well deserved ego-stroking.

When you get the first call inviting you for an interview, then try to ask them about the interview process, how many interviews will there be, and with whom. Find out if there are there any: technical areas to cover? tests to perform? Where will the interview be? And if you don’t know where their office is, then its okay to ask for directions and/or land marks.

Questions to ask
Think of what you would like to ask the interviewee. You have choices to make as well. Some questions that worked for me in the past include

Where do you see me fit in your organization?
Whats the working culture of the organization like?
What would be some of the challenges of working here?
What am i expected to accomplish during the first year?
How will i be evaluated?
What does the future look like for this company?

While they are assessing you, you have to make up your mind if you want to work for them too. Questions also served as a tool for persuasion (think self-generated arguments in social psychology). Regardless of your motivation to ask questions, do no forget that you are being assessed with regards to your enthusiasm, your curiosity, your eagerness, and your level of insight.

If you do know something that is not so good about the organization, do not put the interviewer on the spot. If you don’t like the organization, don’t join it. Remember, your goal is not to bash the poor interviewer ego. Stroke, don’t bash.

I like visiting the organization a few days before the interview. You can play the “i am lost” card. This clandestine visit can help you visualize the company culture.

At the interview
Make sure to dress appropriately. For example for interview with corporate companies, make sure you were corporate attire but dress down for social service organizations.

Some of the standard questions you may be asked are:

Tell me something about yourself
What has been the most disappointing time in your career?
What are some of your strengths and weaknesses?
What has been the most rewarding time?
What benefits can you bring to the business?
What are your long term goals (ie. What do you want to do in 3, 5, 10 years from now)
Why did you apply for this job/company/Division? Why this career?
What can you offer to us? What do you think we can offer you?
What are something’s that have given you the greatest satisfaction? Least satisfaction?
Could you tell us of some instances of how you react under pressure?
What do you like to do in your spare time?
What other jobs did you apply for?
What courses did you like best? Least?
Why did you choose your major? Plans for graduation?
What can a psychology major do for this organization/position?
How did you finance your education?
Did you do the best you could in school? Why or why not?
if you had a chance, what would you change about your education?
What 3 things would you like to achieve, that you did not get in your education?
How do you describe your ideal job?
Have you ever experienced conflict? How did you deal with it?
Have you worked in a group?
What qualities do you think that a successful manager should have?

Some pointers:
So if you think about the questions, they can vary from the easy to the rather difficult.

Some items that have helped me survive them were: Use humor appropriately (humor about yourself and NOT about the organization); Know that you have limits to how much you want to reveal about your self; Know that you may not know any thing; Remember be enthusiastic (at least during the interview)

It may be a good idea to get to your interview 20-30 minutes early. Remember, that they do know that you may be anxious, but will be impressed by your attitude to what you are doing to deal with the anxiety. And yes, this means getting to a place early allows you to deal with your nerves. It gives an opportunity to chat with the receptionist, get a feel of the work culture, and generally get an image of what it would be like to work for them.

While at the interview, give time for some small talk. Complement them if the office looks beautiful. Do thank them for giving you the opportunity. Introduce yourself confidently yet be friendly. Smile.

Non-verbal behavior (such as gesturing and eye contact) should be culture appropriate. This is why it will be useful to come to the company 20 minutes early.

Relate your experience with the role they are interviewing you for talk about your experience. Its ok to be chatty, but don’t over do it.

Some do’s and donts:
Never swear even if the employee does so. Yes, i do have a foul mouth, but i would never dare swear at an interview.

Never make negative remarks about your current or previous work experiences. If you cant talk about it without being negative, then it helps to say that you cant talk about it because of the personal nature of the encounter.
Never reveal secrets that belong to the previous work place. Keep in mind that modern organizations need you to be ethical in your behavior. Hence, if they push you to tell them, then tell them that its confidential. Remember your goal is to demonstrate that you are self sufficient and responsible individual and NOT a blood sucking secret leaking fool.

End the interview with your positive points on why you would like the job and how you feel that you are right for the position and the company. Remember they are looking for someone that wants to work for them and can show that ability.

Finally – Enjoy the experience. You may ‘booboo’ the first experience. But, that’s just it. Its your first, and don’t let that wack your mood because its just the first.

Reference:

Kuther, T. L. (2006). The psychology majors handbook (2nd E.d.). Wadsworth: NY

N.B. I find the cited book extremely useful. Specially if you are a psych major like myself. It has important information about what you can be doing after your first degree in psychology. It should be given to every psych student out of undergraduate school.

The paradox of consciousness

2007-02-09T18:31:00.000+08:00

I was reading a book by Merlin Donald, titled “A mind so rare”. Donald provides some insightful views of the human consciousness ie. Our capacity to be aware of ourselves. Ofcourse, my short definition does not justify his writing, as he has dedicated 350+ pages for the expanded explanation of the human consciousness.

I would like to quote a quote that was inside this book. Its written by a certain Marcus Aurelius. It reads

"Were you to live three thoudsand years, or even thirty thoudsand, remember that the sole life wheich a man can lose is that which he is living at the moment; and furthermore, that he can have no other life except the one he loses. This means that the longest life and the shortest amount to the same thing. Fot the passing minute is every man’s equal possession, but what has once gone by is not ours. When the longest-and the shortest-lived f us come to die, their loss is precisely equal. For the sole thing of which any man can be deprived is the present; since this is all he owns, and nobody can lose what is not his"

Have a good weekend all :)

Selling yourself: Building your Resume

2007-02-04T13:37:00.000+08:00

The last few months have been about job hunting. I had been editing, re-editing, and double editing my resume for nearly every job that I have applied for. In the process, I encountered many events. Interesting replies from potential employers, emails that were never replied from potential employers, and Malaysian government bureaucracy about hiring expatriates. Those juicy topics are best suited from another day cause I am not in the mood to bitch right now.

I want to tell you today about my experiences in putting together a resume. Firstly, I feel a resume should not be seen as a product goal but rather as a product process. This means, that your resume needs to grow with you. Each day, you take the chisel, and chop off bits, add little portions, and trim the edges. Thus, a resume should be a description of your life as it grows. I would consider it appropriate to consider a resume as something that evolves.

What are some of the things that helped me get the most out of my resume?

The sole purpose of the resume is to represent your skills, abilities and experience enough for the organization to contact you about a matching job which they might want to consider you for. This is essentially your marketing brochure, your personal advert, your marketing tool if you like. It is what helps you secure interviews. Just like all other advertisements, your resume is going to be one of many first impressions of you that a potential employer is going to have.

While building your resume, keep it to 3 pages or less and make sure that the layout is logical, simple, and covers all about yourself. Your resume should ideally be tailored for the position that your are applying for. This includes matching relevant information such as your experiences, referees, and skills. Typically I have applied for two kinds of jobs and maintain 2 resumes for each industry (one in Human Resources and one for the Human Services industry).

I have listed below some sections in the resume which i think are important. They are not arranged in any particular format or order, but reading it should give you an idea as to some of the things that you should include.

Personal Information
You might want to cover the following areas in your resume. Personal Information includes your name, address, contact numbers, e-mail. I also like including a profile which explains in one paragraph my strengths, type of work i am are looking for, any major achievements.

I have seen some resumes with information such as marital status, passport or national identity card number, number of children, insurance policy number, fathers car registration number, the number of times i have been to the church/mosque/temple/synagogue/(place where you pray if you belonged to a cult)/..insert any other strange information. Believe you me, that this information is not necessary. Keep your personal details short and expand on the rest. People want to hire you based on your skills and competencies, and not on how long your arm is (unless you are in…. lets not get there)

Education and Professional Qualifications
With regards to educational qualification, I like to include the most recent information. For example, if you have just finished an undergraduate degree, then state that and avoid information about your kindergarten and secondary school information. If you really want to highlight your secondary school because you studied at the school for little wizards then do your thing at the interview.

With regards to professional qualifications, awards received, or special training projects that you may have completed, i like to separate them with information about my formal education. Remember, they don’t have to be under one heading, just make sure they are inside your resume somewhere.

Technical Summary
You should include a summary of your technical skills, knowledge in computer applications, computer languages etc. Organizations tend to like candidates who are IT literate.

Work History
I like to use a reverse chronological order (most recent job first). Also, remember to indicate the year/month you started and ended each job. Ensure that you do not have unexplained gaps in your work history. Indicate some of the main tasks and responsibilities at organization that you worked for. Keep in mind, remember all the achievements (major projects, tasks, awards, etc) that you have completed along the way.

Interests/Hobbies
Organizations like people who are able to demonstrate that they lead a healthy work-life balance (if they don’t appreciate the balance, then don’t work for them). Describing what you do at your free time will help the potential employer see what kind of person you are. Do you support a charity? Do you take photographs? Do you dive? Tell them, people are better able to size you up more holistically.

Referees
I like to include contact information about the people who are able to be my referees. I typically have four of them listed in my resume. Two from the academic world, and two from the work world. But before you start slotting someone’s name inside your resume, make sure you inform that person and have his/her permission to do so (Psych students remember informed consent)

Finally
Look at the use of heading sizes, fonts underline some of the areas you want to stand out. Get your friends, to proof read it before sending it. From the tons of feedback that you get, change as you see fit, and get on the way grooming your resume. The cycle of edit – feedback – edit should ideally continue for as long as you want to update your resume.

Honored at HELP University

2007-01-21T13:09:00.000+08:00

I was honored by my university, HUC, to address a crowd of 150 (may be a little less), brand-spanking-new undergraduates, their parents, some graduates, and faculty, at the academic lunch hosted by the deen.

The invitation from the Deen went as follows:

(Astrorat),

We would like to invite you to present a speech at the freshman lunch on Saturday. There will be 4 speeches; one by a senior student, one by a grad (that's you), one by a lecturer and one by me.

The speeches will be at the start of the lunch.

(The Deen)

The event was formal. Every one wore academic robes (minus the trimming). I could best describe it as a scene out of the movie made in honor of my dear friend, Harry Potter. There were four long tables, with students all dressed in their dashing robes. The picture shows half of one of the tables. However unlike the scene in Harry Potter, is the presence of the parents and the press (heh)

The scene was like a movie which i had dreamt for. The Deen introduced me, citing all the lovely things that can be said.

My speech went something like this:

Faculty, fellow graduates, friends and family,,

My challenge today is to try and describe to you the attitude that helped me and my fellow graduate students get though the years of undergraduate life. Believe me, you are at the door step of the most challenging and difficult, yet the most exciting times in your life. These are times when you will like the previous speaker said, not just cry, but dance with joy.

One of my favorite topics in psychology was dreaming. No, not the different theories, but the fine art of day dreaming, when lectures seem to go on for ever and ever and ever.

(laughter is heard from the crowd. The deen says “now we know what you been upto”, and i said “opps”!).

Well, our day dreams mean more than that. For there is something distinct about what we did to our dreams. We didn’t just stop at dreaming, we went on to make those dreams into reality. Let me illustrate with some examples.

(I paused and looked for a moment at the paper and then at the crowd – at least that’s what i think i did).

Some of us dreamt of great journeys, we dreamt of going to distant places… We organized, created and ran psychology camps.

Some of us dreamt of writing the next best novel or story books.. We created and printed our own publications.

Some of us dreamt dancing through the night… we made and enjoyed the many parties, and of course the grand psychology ball.

Some of us dreamt of giving our own lectures… we became tutors and learnt that lecturing is not as easy as we had once thought.

Some of us dreamt of becoming the heros and heroines we met in our texts… we signed up as research assistants and honed in our own skill as scientists

We all had some dream, and we worked hard in making those dreams reality. However some, did not dream. They, would also sit in class, take careful notes, and go back where ever they came from… i don’t know what happened to them.. (almost faint with some verbal effect) they just faded away.

(the crowd was hushed and i can see from their reaction that they were taken by what i had said)

I would like to quote to you what Robert Goddard said. I quote “it is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.

Those of you who are freshmen and are standing at the doorway to this great journey, i hope you too will dare dream the impossible dream: spin your own magic, and make those dreams into reality. I welcome you to this prestigious program, at HELP University College.

I heard the crown applaud, but all i was aware of was how profusely i had been sweating. It was the first time i had been given the honor of addressing a crowd in an academic setting. Nothing in the years before this could have prepared me for such an honor. As i walked down, and back to my seat, i remember shaking the hands of the Deen, the head of ARCCADE, the HEAD of the career development center, the head of the clinical program, and my friends.

I was aware that i had faced a dream, and i had pulled it off in style. I am grateful for the university for giving me the honor. I am grateful for fellow blogger and friend, Steph, for giving me the topic which i spoke about: dreams. I am also grateful for another fellow blogger and friend, Tessa, for taking the lovely pictures that you see here (incidentlly, Tessa was also my date for this lovely lunch).

Set forth and sail

2007-01-10T20:01:00.000+08:00

There is a certain uncomfortableness to steer without a rudder in the open sea. There is a certain unknowingness that arises when all there is are the deep and somewhat unknown currents that push you along. Time never stops, but for a moment, for a fleeting moment, the drifting doesn’t seem aimless.

Who am i to tell where this ship is sailing. The map that i for so long relied on, no longer valid. Perhaps i should set the sails up high, but, the sails are torn and tossed about, in the chaos that no one realized. I don’t know why no one wants to abandon this ship, perhaps knowing that the gentle drift will some how take them somewhere. The destination, desirable or not, is bound to happen.

As night falls, they eagerly await moments of escape, even if only for moment, in dreams. At least in a dream state, they are able to escape from the greater unknown voyage, set sail again, and command the ship into great places that are thought unknown. The dreams are important, for in them, lie the deep desire to turn the ship, and to visit the towns by now their heart desires. But, in the still of the night, dreams too remain still. In the morning, unknown to them, the ship would have drifted further to a world yet unknown.

Where is this world? Is it the paradise that they dream of? Would there be wine and dance as there has been before? What does the path ahead have? Perhaps the lands ahead, though uncharted, will nevertheless be more exciting than the past.

Its only normal to reflect the past, and wonder how things could have been different. Almost in smile, yet in deep thought, the journey thus far, brilliant. A voyage, that for now seems to have no sense. Perhaps the crew are all but tired to phantom a direction. As if to say, that there is satisfaction in not knowing, as if a drift right now is ideal, the journey my friend, continues.

Cheers!

Tomorrow

2007-01-07T23:44:00.000+08:00

As i lay on this pillow of life,

I realized that just like how all good things that come to an end, so must all bad things. For that is the pact life handed down to us, that everything in life will be renewed and nothing shall remain. This, i recon, is the light that we all hope for and desperately embrace when moments of darkness is upon us. There is something sweet about knowing that darkness will come to an end.

Sadly, someone trying to elude from this darkness realizes that, happiness too, does not last, as it too must some day, surely, come to an end. Then, what can remain as our only hope is the assurance that no sorrow or joy is ever static. That our world is forever changing, for ever renewing each day as the sun sets. That though we find ourselves in solitary, it is but all fleeting moments experienced in our quest for life.

Tomorrow, the weather will be different, for tomorrow may be a bright spring morning which call for good cheer. Tomorrow may be a day of winter spent in solitude and deep thought. I may never know what the day brings, tomorrow, however, no doubt, will be celebrated.

a 'Promising' 2007

2007-01-04T17:20:00.000+08:00

Happy new year all!

I having a reserved optimism for the new year that stems from the belief that the world today, cant get any worse than it already is. Well, it can, but i am cautiously optimistic. We stand today, divided, east versus west, black versus white, left versus right, so on, and so forth. We are concerned today about who will triumph. The mighty us (who ever we are) versus them (who ever they are). You get the picture?

However, the turbulent world outside, extends into the private domains of our own world (it always does. At least to some of us). My own life has been becoming increasingly challenging. Perhaps it is because time is giving a beating that i am yet to learn to deal with, or perhaps i do onto myself. The reasons don’t matter for reality is that, the world as i know it today, both inside and outside, is becoming ever more twisted and difficult to untangle.

Despite the struggle, i am optimistic for 2007. There are many things are brewing. Among the two most important are

* I will have to stop graduate school. I cant seem to find any way to fund my living expenses, and will be joining the workforce. I don’t really like the idea, but i am out of ideas. I hope that the tuition scholarship that i have, will remain till i come back.

I have tried bank loans, personal loans, other scholarships’, etc… but, the options are easier said suggested. Though being side tracked does not feel great, right now, it is the best possible outcome (unless the tooth fairy comes along)

* I got back together with my long time sweetheart (this ones happy stuff! It’s the stuff that’s meant to be taken with chocolate pudding). Me and her broke up for the strangest reasons, but we remained friends when things got ugly. Eventually, we realized that we were in for something big. Something bigger than we had earlier hoped for. It great to be love and be loved.

2007, like the one before, has some challenges ahead. With the looming threat of being packed back to Sri Lanka and loosing the graduate opportunity, the possibility of loosing love to distance all seem possible. These challenges however, promise for a good fight ahead. There nothing more interesting than a lovely battle to change what seems inevitable. Oh well, 2007, is not going down without a bruised arm n a broken leg!

I don’t like resolutions, i will break them if i make them and so i did not make them. this year, i want to achieve the following:

1. I want to learn to speak in French. A hot French chick should do the trick ;)
2. I want to volunteer my time for Children with special needs. I might want to develop this into my research area
3. I want to research and outline my family genogram in detail. There so little i know about them
4. I want to learn to dance the Latino way (isent there more than one form?)
5. I want to start reading more :D (really vague right? That’s cause it might not happen ;) hehe)

6. (and probably most important) Figure out a way to finance my living during graduate school.

To those of you my dear readers, here’s a toast, hoping that your own lists of “i wants” are well on the way. Here’s to a splendid year ahead!

2007 has another reason to celebrate! this is my 100th entry! yay! :D

Holidays 2006!

2006-12-21T20:00:00.000+08:00

My dear readers, my friends :)

Heres wishing you all happy holidays and a Merry Christmas.

I am going to disappear until next 2007. Its that time of the year for introspection, plan, and change. Something big is brewing, and come 2007, we will all know.

Here's a poem i discovered which i would like to share with you. i don't know who the author is, but i could not have said it any better.

My Christmas wish for you, my friend
Is not a simple one
For I wish you hope and joy and peace
Days filled with warmth and sun

I wish you love and friendship too
Throughout the coming year
Lots of laughter and happiness
To fill your world with cheer

May you count your blessings, one by one
And when totaled by the lot
May you find all you've been given
To be more than what you sought

May your journeys be short, your burdens light
May your spirit never grow old
May all your clouds have silver linings
And your rainbows pots of gold

I wish this all and so much more
May all your dreams come true
May you have a Merry Christmas friend
And a happy New Year, too ..

Of "Classical" conditioning

2006-11-21T12:22:00.000+08:00

Graduate school gives students like me to revisit concepts that were covered during those undergraduate years, but are somehow important. Classical conditioning is one such concept as it covers major areas in graduate school. This cant stressed enough as it covers areas starting basic learning, to forming attitudes, to treatment models. They all bring in this oldie, the classical conditioning paradigm to an important status.

Before I get lost in my own thoughts, classical conditioning is a theory of learning that explains how by repeatedly associating an neutral-event with a naturally occurring event pair, will result in the association of the neutral-event with the naturally occurring event. For example, Lets say each time you click on my blog address you get excited (clicking on my blog and getting excited are the naturally occurring pair) and each time you do this, someone rings a bell (this is the neutral-event). Now, classical conditioning will predict that with repeated pairing of these 3 events (click blog – excitement – bell), you will start to associating the bell with the excitement that was elicited by you reading my blog! What this means is that later on, when the bell is rung, even though there may be no astrorat-blog, you will feel excited!

Isent that cool? My great-great-grand mom who told my great-grand-mom who told my grand mom who told my mom who eventually told me that hanging out with “bad company” will get me associated with the qualities of the bad people, even though I might not be bad my self. She (great-great-grand mom) obviously knew something about classical conditioning even though she dident have an education! I am not sure if credit goes to Aristotle who talked about the law of contiguity long before Pavlov rang a bell when his dog salivated, or to my great-great-grand-mom who saw her husband get into trouble for hanging out with the wrong company.

However, even though the origins of the theory remains debatable, one thing that I cant seem to answer or find any reasonably logical answer to is what’s so “classical” about classical conditioning? As if there exists another form of “conditioning” that was developed from “classical” conditioning: a “neo-classical” conditioning of sorts.

But, a search for a neo-classical conditioning framework, and/or theory proved futile. I asked the learnard professors, lecturers, and esteemed doctors of my university and they gave me the look, as if to say “don’t you have assignments to work on?”. But, my search continued and I would have nothing to do with their threatening looks. I thought to my self that “I will get to the bottom of this”.

And I did (I think). The only satisfactory answer seemed to come from a 2nd year undergraduate student who I quote: “its called classical cause some old-fella wrote it leeh”.

Coming to think of it, that really was not satisfactory as I had first thought. It was a cyclic answer where the said student simply restated the meaning of “classical” as being written by someone in the past. I guess, there’s wisdom in remaining quit, as did my lecturers, when they were asked the same question.

The question still remains and I still do not know why text books, lecture notes, research papers, presentations, and professors refer to a “classical conditioning” framework when in fact they are referring to a “conditioning” framework. Where or what is “neo” classical conditioning?

The truth, I am told by some prominent actors, is somewhere out there.

Al Jazeera speaks English

2006-11-17T09:49:00.000+08:00

Al Jazeera, the Arabic news channel, has launched its English channel operating from Doha, Washington, London, and Kuala Lumpur!

I am excited because Al Jazeera is said to be a “new point of view”, that is said to “bridge the divide between civilizations”, it “thrives to provide all points of views”.

Following the events of September 11, all eyes were on Al Jazeera as it used the access it had developed in Afghanistan to interview Osama Bin Laden. It was the interview that neither CNN nor BBC could have ever got. Al Jazeera’s Arab perspective on events drew criticism from the West as inflammatory and sensational. During the start of Bushs bloody campaign, Al Jazeera was caught in between wild accusation from both sides. It quickly got the reputation of having links with “terror” groups.

This video on YouTube adds some perspective

I am looking forward to seeing a news channel that paints the picture of the other side of the coin. For years, CNN and BBC were the only news channels I could access. Sadly, their views have never been complete. Their audience forign, and their message strange.
Certainly I am not sure if Al Jazeera represents the “right” from CNN and BBC’s wrong. But I am certain, that I would have access to another side, which would keep global events in perspective.

I hope that Al Jazeera, does not follow suit of its western counterparts and engage in its own political agenda. Al Jazeera is well positioned in brining misconstrued Arab nations to the rest of the world. By broadcasting in English, an existing gap in communication has been isolated. My hope is Al Jazeera will bring the positive elements in Arab & European nations and America, that have been recently been dominated by negative elements lead by extremism, radicalism, and blatant racism.

Heres hoping, that their perspective will remain fresh and unbiased, though out!

Blind Justice

2006-11-12T13:29:00.000+08:00

The world woke up (a week ago) to the conviction of Saddam Hussain, ruthless dictator, tyrant and murderer. My CNN and BBC was on my tele, and they talked about the joy that this conviction has brought to the many Iraqi people. Rightly so. After all, this is Sadam Hussain and he no doubt deserves to hang.

The world does owe the credit of getting a “terrorist” to its knees to Mr. George W. Bush Junior and his iron fist determination to get rid of them evil war mongers.

I wonder if Justice was really served?

GWB certainly has credit for himself for what’s unfolding. Ex. President Saddam Hussain AKA Tyrant Dictator is accused and has been found guilty of killing 200 (and more) innocent Iraqi civilians. George W. Bush is directly responsible of is known to have killed 654,965 (estimated by Johns Hopkins University) Iraqis. 200000 of those deaths have been caused by directly by coalition forces while the rest is attributed to the raise in civil unreast as a result of the coalitons distruction of civil order. This he (GWB) justifies as a way to serve justice to the Iraqi who were killed by the Tyrant Dictator.

To justice to be served, George W Bush, should hang along with Saddam Hussain.

I am told that the al-queda (spelling) which devastated my American friends in that horrible day of September 11. I fail to see however, what connection Saddam Hussain or the million people who paid with their lives in Iraq have to do with that day. The Al-queda I am told is linked more with Indonesia, Saudi Arabia, and Pakistan.

Then there were the weapons of Mass destruction. A loose term that we all have gotten so versed with. The means many different atrocious things to different people. To me it means an atomic bomb. The library attendant I just spoke to while typing this text is reminded of a serious nerve gas. To some of my friends, it’s a bomb that’s so large that can kill a million people in a faction of a second. This is, after all, what “mass” destruction. Killing in the masses.

The media tells me that investigations so far have not found any such weapons of mass destruction in Iraq nor is there evidence of an large scale plan to build them. In fact in an embarrassing let down, ex secretary of state Mr. Colin Powel accepted that they were mistaken. Mr. George W. Bush in fact has been the only recoded Mass destructor to date. His direct responsibility of killing the million or more (and I am told that this number is not an exaggeration) innocent, unarmed, Iraqi women, children, and men.

During my undergraduate years, I was told that the perfect murder is one where not only is the criminal able to escape, but is able to blame someone else for the crime. George W. Bush essentially has escaped without bearing any responsibility for the crimes that he has, and is currently committing and has in-fact done it so well, while the rest of us point fingers at Saddam Hussain. No Doubt that Saddam is evil. George W. Bush is no different.

I am reminded of the Nazi regime, and its killing spree. Milgram has thought us that obedience is a factor that can achieved with little or no effort. In fact, Milgram’s studies on obedience has showed us how Adolf Hitler was essentially able to otherwise innocent people of the German army into hilling machines. Millions of innocent Jewish people died during the days of the Nazi leadership. Hitler was ambitious to rid the world of the ‘less desirable and inferior’ Jewish race. They after all could be terrorists.

The American soldier that is made to believe that its making its nation proud, essentially is a killing machine of the Bush regime. Of course the enemy this time is not identified as a race because that is wrong. But the enemy is a group that is capable of committing untold atrocities to humanity. George W. Bush, like his counter parts Hitler and Saddam Hussian are cold blooded killers. He too should hang, if Saddam is to hang.

Justice I am told, is blind. It, has been made a cripple, for justice has been manipulated for the benefit of the GWB. Justice I am told, is impartial. But this impartiality has been compromised by persons who share the ranks of Hitler. Justice has been raped by ruthless leaders who control it, to plunder other nations of its wealth, and resources.
The sentiments of the American people are not far off than my own. The elections speaks for its self. Though justice prevails eventually, its disturbing that 49% of Americans still support the war.

Celebrate, do not tolerate

2006-10-30T11:28:00.000+08:00

I was reading today’s national news paper and stumbled across a headline that spoke said something about how one of this nations political head thought that “tolerance and hard work” is the key to development.

This “tolerance” does not in any way imply respect, still less approval. Rather the opposite, it implies only a willingness to indulge – i.e. tolerate - something of which one disapproves like, for example, corruption, threats, and complacency.

The proponents of tolerance should understand from the start that they are on sufferance, or permission implied or given by a failure to prohibit. It is not a matter of the public not having objections to what they want to do, but rather of the public's objections not being so grave as to justify prohibition, still less persecution.

Ministers, are very foolish to push at a door which is far from wide open. Asians have a history of using the tolerance rhetoric but for leaders to assume that this will be the key to success is foolish. I am reminded of a lecture at the end of which I was frozen in awe when the speaker showed that beyond mere tolerance comes celebration. To celebrate differences whole heartedly as the key to nation building.

A multi cultural society is not peculiar to Malaysia, and is rather foolish to assume so. It is not enough for the ‘tolerator’ to make an effort to overcome prejudices, unless the tolerated also makes an effort to reciprocate. This message go out loud and clear: we need more than mere toleration. For is nation building is to it must be an exercise of celebration all both parties.

Is any one ready to drop their prejudices to celebrate?

New Skill: Typing

2006-10-28T12:19:00.000+08:00

I learnt a new skill… to type (yes you heard me right) correctly. Its not just about random key strokes. Believe me, now that I am getting it right, I can type way faster than I used to. I wish I had learnt this when I was slogging all those papers during my undergrad years, or when I was frantically trying to keep up with lectures (I typically type my notes cause it gives me greater flexibility)

It really is difficult to start. There’s that tingly feeling that your brain experiences when you take on a new task (I believe it’s the motor neurons going on over drive trying to form new connections – correct me if I am wrong). But, soon, the conscious typing becomes unconscious! And you can be on your way to burning the keyboard.

The diagram below is self explanatory. The keys are color coded so that you know which finger should be doing the jabbing on what key. All this finger business is tiring!

Poison Air over Kuala Lumpur

2006-10-16T11:12:00.000+08:00

There is no double meaning behind that title. IT is what it is. The quality over Kuala Lumpur remains dirty. I guess gossip was right in saying that Malaysian would grab anything that is free. In this case, it is the free smog courtesy of Indonesia.

The media of Malaysia are starting to ignore the smog/haze. Last week, I read about the tourism minister getting upset over the fact that the Australian and most European consulates had issued travel advisories about visiting Malaysia. He was saying how angry he was for being singled out, when the situation was equally bad in Singapore and Brunei. But, what he did not say, is that the government of Singapore has been more proactive in protecting its visitors against the poison air. For example, health advisories and health screens were stepped up. The media in Singapore spoke about the impending danger of breathing the noxious air. As a middle class foreigner, I have not experienced any kind of concern expressed towards my health. All that had happened was the thumping health expense that’s now exceeded my budget thanks to demand-supply relationship of the cost of medical care.

A concerned Malaysian named S. C. Chea writes:

First of all I must say that it is unusual that all English newspapers here including yours have chosen the word "haze" to describe this unhealthy air that has been produced annually by Indonesia since the 90s and that flows across the Malacca Straits to pollute neighbouring countries. "Haze" should not be associated with air pollution. The proper word for it is "smog" which is really atmosphere with suspended micron-size particulates wheras haze is atmosphere with condensed water vapour which was commonly experienced at places like Templar's Park in the 50's, 60's and even in the early 70's.

Having said this, the other thing is that we seem to have accepted its annual occurrence as if the two seasons in this country are not the rainy season and dry season, but the rainy season and smoggy season, and it is alright with us. Come on, what is wrong with Malaysia and all of us? Let us make no bones about this. Indonesia is the culprit. No need to make excuses for her - she is poor, she has wide territories to govern blah, blah. Even the Director-General of Tourism Malaysia said that the situation is not alarming.

The health of this nation must not be negotiable. Indonesia is responsible for causing untold damage to the health of our children and feeble senior citizens whether it is Indonesians doing the burning or Malaysian companies in Indonesia doing it. It is coming from the soil of Indonesia wafting across the Straits to pollute our air.

This problem is exactly like nations sharing the same river system. The country on the upper reaches of the river polluting the river is deemed to have committed an act of war to the country on the lower reaches of the river. Trans-border pollution whether polluting the water of another nation or the air of another must never be tolerated or condoned. The most recent case is the chemical contamination of a river in northern China which also runs through Russia to the Baltic Sea. Here is a one-off case and yet China has to pay damages to Russia. In Malaysia's case it is an annual affair since the 90's and it is alright with us because compared with other places it
is not too bad! The mentality of all of us is nothing if not amazing. We shouldn't and mustn't accept that Indonesia is too poor to do anything about it. Being poor is no licence to commit such atrocities!

S.C. Cheah

Very rightly, s/he points out some interesting facts.

1. People in Malaysia are getting complaisant about the fact that they are being systematically poisoned yearly. People do not realize that the smog carries with it long term respiratory complications including the increased susceptibility to lunch cancer.

2. The Malaysian media is not doing enough as an independent body to highlight the smog.

3. There a lot of political finger pointing with no real action. I would have expected some senior delegate to be in Indonesia right now to discuss the end to this atrocity. But, nothing of that sort is happening. Even if it was, the media is not saying anything about it.

4. Polluting the air around your nation is an act of war. I wonder how Singapore will react if Malaysia was to poison their water will just a little bit or arsenic.

5. How differently would Malaysia and Brunai have reacted if it was Singapore and not Indonesia that was causing the smog (I will leave my allusion to your imagination)

Every one seems to think that the rain will clear the smog away. How foolish can some “educated” people in important positions get? Nothing is going to change unless you stop the root cause of the smog. The burning in Indonesia MUST STOP immediately.

Bloody F***in HAZE - Updated 10-Oct

2006-10-09T23:57:00.000+08:00

I write this blog at a time when I hear the sweet sound of thunder and see the dark clouds gather outside the noon sky. The sight of lightning, out side my office window helped me bring a sigh of relief. But for how long? But, the sudden rain disappears as rapid as it came, only brining the dreaded smoke lower.

If you are not sure what I am talking about, or were wondering if I was paying homage to the rain god… that’s not it… The haze in Malaysia has been horrific. No one in the government seem to care, and excuses range from “its not all over Malaysia”, “its not all the time”, “we are doing something about it”, “it isn’t at a dangerous level yet”, to the plain denial of the issue. However, make no mistake about it, most parts of Malaysia (including KL) have been blanketed by dense smoke. Visibility is sometimes reduced to a mere 50 feet. My eyes turned red, with the veins almost popping out. A fake doctor (yes, there are those too) said that its called conjunctivitis.

The explanations given by the government (if at all), are unsatisfactory. The fingers keep pointing at tree burning Indonesians. However, unsaid is what the Malaysian government is prepared to do to protect both its citizens and its visitors. To date, I don’t see any advisory about how to protect your self, what you can do, and what specific steps are being taken by the government to ensure that the people in Malaysia are being taken care of.

One MP when asked the question if Malaysia was going to protest to the government of Indonesia replied that ‘Malaysia can respond in many ways’ and goes on to talk about it being necessary to act rather than talk. However, these words don’t ring right, cause talk is all that has happened so far.

The Indonesian government has said that there’s nothing it can do and has requested people to pray for rain. That really sums up the kind of learnt helplessness that’s evident in this region. No one seems to care to wear a mask, or protect themselves.

People in Malaysia have grown complaisant about what is happening to them. Choosing to cover their faces with a handkerchief or a tissue, is an exception than the norm. One guy in the LRT laughed at me for wearing a mask. I told him to f**k off and jump in the flames if he has nothing to do. Life seems to go on. The picture that has been painted is that the haze is here for now, it will clear soon, and then things will go back to normal. Some even make it seem like a seasonal thing. Advisories such as “stay indoors”, “don’t exert your body”, “drink lots of water” are meaning less when no concrete health measures are offered.

Fake psychologists, fake doctors, and fake ministers of parliament! I don’t care about them any more. This haze is man made. Its criminal. Old people are choking and people will die as a result of it. There are hundreds or more who are falling ill. Those in power seem to want to “wait” for the weather gods.

In the mean time, I have got conjunctivitis, asthma, and a headache. I really really want to leave Malaysia.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

UPDATE

The Malaysian Department of Environment has promised to take open burning serious. It also has updates of the haze levels in different areas in Malaysia. This includes your unfriendly neighbor lighting up the garbage. Its been made technically illegal to openly burn stuff in Malaysia. But, who’s really enforcing that any way? Besides, this haze is not due to the little fires created by the friendly neighborhood pyromaniac, its caused by the systematic burning of plantation in part of the crop renewal cycle each year.

Major media is reporting that the "wind direction has changed and so the haze is clearing". That’s a f**ing retarded way of saying that we have swept it under the carpet for now. The damage is being done, the fires still continue, but the wind of course is taking the problem else where...

ENVIRONMENTAL POLLUTION Complaints pertaining to the environmental pollutions can be made via mail, phone-call or submitted directly to the relevant Department of Environment State Office's. DOE's HQ Control Room in Putrajaya operates from 7.00 a.m. to 11.30 p.m. daily inclusive of weekends and public holidays. Complaints can also be forwarded to:

Department of Environment Ministry of Natural Resources and Environment
Level 1 - 4, Podium 2 & 3,
Lot 4G3, Precint 4, Federal
Government Administrative Centre 62574
Putrajaya
Web: http://www.doe.gov.my/
Hunting Line : 03-8871 2000 / 8871 2200
Complaints Line: 03-8889 1972
Fax: 03-8889 1973/75
JASLINE :1-800-88-2727

Smokers 1 – Nonsmokers 2!

2006-10-03T19:51:00.000+08:00

At least that’s what happened from my point of view!

Yesterday, as I comfortably sat down to slurp a bowl of noodles at the food court (called the “mamak” in Malaysia) before attending my first day of grad school, watching the beautiful ‘birds’ walk past, it became apparent that in Malaysia, smokers light up where ever they please with no regard to the non-smokers.

The warm evening soon turned bad when this women in her 30ies sat in the seat in front of me, quietly took out her reading glasses, her the days news papers, and her lovely pack of cigarettes. What happened next was something that was well practiced and unconscious. Paper unrolls, reading glasses are worn, fingers reach for cigarette ever so gently, and slowly inserts the precious stick in mouth. Wait… she realized that she was missing her lighter. She then reached over to her hand bag, searched frantically as though it was her heart-medicine, nearly knocking over her cup of tea in the process, and found her lighter. The cigarette got lit, and she kept puffing away.

I love smokers because when they smoke, they want to share the beautiful smoke with other people and in the process, they get so excited that they fail to ask if the other people around them actually want their little delights. This little lady was no different. She keep sending her puff straight at my face.

Those of you who know me, will know that, the sinus in my nose has a life of its own. It tends to get really pissed when there are air contaminants and reacts with very violent sneeze. This condition has been pretty horrid to the extent that OTC nasal medication doesn’t work for me any more.

My reaction to this woman who was smoking my face was:

*aachhooooomm*

The first time I did that, I covered my face with a handkerchief (yes I own one), stooped down, and apologized.

And then it struck me. I am going to make sure that the next time I sneeze, I was going to do it on her face, and I was not going to be sorry about it.

This is exactly what happened in the twenty seconds that followed

Me: “aaachhhooooooooooooommmmmmm” (note: direct at her face while watching all the saliva go from me to her in slowmo)

Woman: *stares at me* (she was probably thinking that I was the ugliest creature alive hehe)
20 seconds pass by...

Me: “aaaaacccchhhhhhhoooooooooooommm” (note: you guessed it. Direction = her face. Accompanied by the tiny droplets of saliva from my mouth all in slowmo. Reminds me of a scene from the matrix. Saliva goes by while everything goes to slowmo.)

Woman: (really pissed off sounding really angry) “Don’t you know how to sneeze with your mouth close or say sorry” (she stares at me)

Me: “aaaacchhhhoooooooooooommm” (again at her face and sounding very angry and really loud) “EXCUSE ME… BUT YOU DON’T SEEM TO CARE WHEN YOU BLOW YOUR SMOKE ON MY FACE AND YOU DO SEEM TO THINK YOU HAVE TO APOLOGISE FOR MAKING ME SMOKE YOUR CIGGERATE”

Woman: (looks totally pissed off and ready to rip me off to pieces) “Bh…..” (interupting her)

Me: (even loud and drowning her voice) “IF YOU THINK ITS OKAY FOR ME TO TAKE THAT SHIT FROM YOUR MOUTH, THEN YOU CAN TAKE MINE”

Woman: (getting red) “ghrr…” (as i interupt her yet again)

Me: (Pissed off but in a calm tone) “Just shut up. If you think you have the right to smoke in the air that I breath, then its just too bad. If you want me to stop sneezing on your face, then stop smoking on my face. Get a lawyer if you cant deal with it”…

“aaaccccchhhhhhhoooooooommm”

She: (looking irritated I guess.. I wasent looking at her any more) *gets up and leaves*

Students around me: (probably nonsmokers too) *start clapping*

Me: (in Bahasa Malaysia) “Abang ahh.. lagi satu tea-o-lima-o-panas” (translated: Brother, one more hot lemon tea please)

I am not going to be nice about the smokers out there. Some of those who smoke in Asia take advantage of the fact that the non-smokers have been too nice to them. These smokers surround themselves with an air of invincibleness. As a citizen of the world it is my RIGHT to live in a clean environment. It is my right to be able to be at a public place and be assured of clean air. I will do WHAT EVER it take to protect that right.

I shall not be nice about the fact that money hungry law makers don’t care about the welfare of non-smokers. I shall not be nice about the fact that besides “increasing the price of cigarettes” (a strategy that doesn’t really stop people from smoking because people will pay what ever it takes to sooth their addiction to nicotine) and the odd “tak nak” (meaning: don’t want) billboards, no real legislation is carried out.

You will see people smoking inside police officers, at bus stops, at hospitals, at railway stations, at government agencies, and other places of public interest. No real law exists that bans the use of cigarettes in such public places.

I shall then take have my own way of dealing with smokers.

“Accchhhhoooooooooooommmmm” And its going to be on your face.

Loving it!

2006-10-03T00:22:00.000+08:00

The Fake Psychologist continues to pub hop… opps class hop. This time I love what’s going on in class. First day of “semi-graduate-school” and am studying among lawyers, med doctors, psychologists, priests, and other super duper students! Comments, thoughts, opinions are flying around at free will! The class is charged and is being facilitated by a super cool lecturer! I am totally motivated now!

One tiny step in the grad school world, and perhaps one step closer towards becoming a real psychologist!

There’s still the concern of finances at the back of my mind, but I choose not to let it bug me for now. Not dead yet!

And this means that yours truly will have more tales from the darker side ;)

a little babies story

2006-09-29T21:52:00.000+08:00

At home last night I was narrated a story by this 2-year-old boy.

It goes like this:

Long time ago, there were three bears, papa bear, mummy bear, and baby bear. Baby bear went to papa bear and said “papa bear papa bear, can you tell me a story”. Papa bear says long time ago, there were three bears, papa bear, mummy bear, and baby bear. Baby bear went to papa bear and said “papa bear papa bear, can you tell me a story”. Papa bear says long time ago, there were three bears, papa bear, mummy bear, and baby bear. Baby bear went to papa bear and said “papa bear papa bear, can you tell me a story”. Papa bear says…

You can imagine that by now every one listening were tumbling with laughter.

I find it really curious that a two-year-old was able to know humor attached to the way he said it. As I was looking at him (in typical fake psychologist ways), he had mischief all over his face.

I am amazed!

To understand this story (and to be able to communicate it efficiently) needs an understanding of meta communication processes. That is the understanding of how communication by itself works. He needs to understand that the sequence of the story is cyclic, and hence, needs to understand how events in the world are related to a time-order. On top of that you also need to know that a bunch of grown ups think of it a mighty funny.

Amazing right?

The conflict is back

2006-09-23T23:15:00.000+08:00

Recently i wrote about the conflict in Darfur.

I am sad for even though i wasent the first to write of the atrocities and the murder, the worlds turning a deaf ear yet again. Apparently, Sudan does not have the Bin Ladens, the Sadams, or the George Bush's that it takes for the international community to respond fast enough.

Even the great Malaysian Dr does not seem interested.

I just got an email and it says:

Sudan Darfur: Send UN Peacekeepers Now!

Message: Thousands of people in Darfur (Western Sudan) are still being killed, raped and displaced, despite the signing of a peace agreement on 5 May 2006. TheUN says's around 23,000 peace keepers are needed to protect civilians and implement the peace agreement - we say they are needed now! Sign our petition to send a UN peacekeeping forceto Darfur NOW. We want 23,000 signatures for 23,000 peacekeepers.
Add your blue helmet to our virtual peacekeepingmap: noise.amnesty.org/darfur/act

Thanks very much for the support.

WHY does it take 23000 signatures to have peace keeping forces in Darfur when no such signature was required in the israel-Lebanon conflict or the Iraq-American conflicts. The great vito nations are debating about is human life in Sudan is worth their time.

Prime time media barely mentions the Darfur conflict. Sometimes in mentioned in passing, the story of great invasion takes precedence these days.

While i write, i am saddened that, the rape, killings, and displacement goes on.

A story

2006-09-21T09:30:00.000+08:00

I would like to share with you what a fellow blogger and very close friend, Nadine, blogged. Communities rely on its stories to enculture people. This story, i feel is largely missing in "modern" society (though not in all parts of the world, KL and Singapore are not exceptions). More and more our societies are becoming individualistic. And in this entry, i found that what could makes human being, a truly 'superior' species.

All credit goes to Nadine for sharing with us her story:

Da Stone Soup Moral

The Wisdom Of Sharing- This is one of my favorite parable stories I wanna share with y'all. Depicting our human nature when it comes to our everyday wants & needs.
"There are many variations on the story of stone soup, but they all involve a traveler coming into a town beset by famine. The inhabitants try to discourage the traveler from staying, fearing he wants them to give him food. They tell him in no uncertain terms that there's no food anywhere to be found. The traveler explains that he oesn't need any food and that, in fact, he was planning to make a soup to share with all of them. The villagers watch suspiciously as he builds a fire and fills a cauldron with water. With great ceremony, he pulls a stone from a bag, dropping the stone into the pot of water. He sniffs the brew extravagantly and exclaims how delicious stone soup is. As the villagers begin to show interest, he mentions how good the soup would be with just a little cabbage in it. A villager brings out a cabbage to share. This episode repeats itself until the soup has cabbage, carrots, onions, and beets-indeed, a substantial soup that feeds everyone in the village".
This story addresses the human tendency to hoard in times of deprivation. When resources are scarce, we pull back and put all of our energy into self preservation. We isolate ourselves and shut out others. As the story of stone soup reveals, in doing so, we often deprive ourselves and everyone else of a feast. This metaphor plays out beyond the realm of food. We hoard ideas, love, and energy, thinking we will be richer if we keep to them to ourselves, when in truth we make the world, and ourselves, poorer whenever we greedily stockpile our reserves. The traveler was able to see that the villagers were holding back, and he had the genius to draw them out and inspire them to give, thus creating a spread that none of them could have created alone.
Are you like one of the villagers, holding back? If you come forward and share your gifts, you will inspire others to do the same. The reward is a banquet that can nourish many.

*NJ* (L)

I would like to add, that this idea of sharing should not just be within humans, but should be shared with the rest of Mother Nature. Trust, you would know that the limits to the application of this story is defined by you.

A year passes by...

2006-09-14T01:30:00.000+08:00

I just realized that this blog has been alive since September last year! From my very first entry, to this one, there have been many up’s, down’s, side tracks, and journeys.

I owe it to my lovely readers for taking time to read articles, taking time to comment, taking time to personally talk about the things that I write about.

I have learnt so much from your thoughts.

I like to share with you the following personal incident which to this date leaves me speechless.

They all began with a conversation with a lady. A very intresting lady. And, her story is goes like this:

She was born in 1923 in Sri Lanka. She just marked her 83rd birthday. Her story began when in her late teens and ran away from home to follow someone she had fallen in love with. Her ‘journey’ however took her from Sri Lanka to Malaysia via ship!

As it turns out, the guy that she followed, had been two timing her, and was actually married to someone else. Heart broken, broke, and not knowing what to do, she had tried to kill her self, but was rescued.

Life moved on. She took the beating that time would give. Along the way, she became a citizen of Malaysia, attempted suicide one more time, was run over by a bus, lived though the Japanese occupation, saw Malaysia get independence, traveled around the region, …. And now… she narrated her story to me.

I was sitting in her room, listening as she went though the pages and pages. She was proud of her achievements and the experience that she had gained. She told me detailed accounts of her trips, her boyfriends, and her life. However, she shocked me when she quietly said, “raam, you are always in my prayers”.

There was a moment where I could hear my own heart beat faster and faster. Even though, I am agnostic, these words meant so much. What could I have done to deserve it? It was coming from a lady who’s grown to become a giant in experiences compared to me. I was by any shot, 50 years away from getting even close to her stories. But, she would have non of that.

With near slow deliberate words, and her frail hands adjusting the strap on her diaper, she uttered again. “each day I say my prays, I pray for you”.

I am not going to even interpret why, how, and what. I want to bask in the complete joy that these words brought as I sat in her gloomy room and listened to her speak that morning…

In the past one year i have learnt so much!

Life as a Production Assistant

2006-09-13T13:55:00.000+08:00

Remember my post about the essentials of casting? Well, here’s another one to help you understand another role in the production business. This ladies and gentlemen, is the lowly position of the production assistant!

If you have been wondering why someone will want to start out as a production assistant, the answer to that is pretty simple. Many young directors who have made their digital video short films and are beginning to understand the fundamentals of filmmaking look for jobs on a feature film or a production company that makes TV commercials. This is because short films don’t put enough money in their pocket. However, the problem is, the production companies have already filled important positions like director, cinematographer (or director of photography), producer, editor and all the other cool jobs and don’t see where a punk a few shorts will fit except as a… yes you guessed it.. lowly production assistant.

Being a PA is not glamorous, but a great place to learn the ins and outs of production and make a meager living (compared to what the other members in the team get). It’s a place to learn the ropes as one executive producer (lets call her k) put it.

As production assistant or PA, you get see how ‘paid professionals’ interact on the set and get to see gear that would easily fill up several credit cards. We’re talking pro dollies, jib arms, powerful lights, c-stands, tracking shots and high-end camera packages.

But, how on earth do you land on such a job?

You need to start networking with production companies. You need to brush elbows with people who have been in the industry. Ask questions and make friends. If you impress them, you may have an in at a production house. I know friends who sent their resumes with degrees in film making, and like I said before, they had to start out as a PA! I shall not get into the discussion of the economics or the ethics of making it almost mandatory that new staff start low.

More interestingly, this is written for those of you who are trying to get into the business and more importantly, is about some tips about surviving once you are in.

Some important things to remember about your first pre-production meeting are:

1. When you get hired, don’t forget to ask for details of your job. For example, you need to know how to get to set, how long is the shoot, if there’s any thing that you need to take, your call time, etc. Some production companies require you to work with the before production (pre production) and during the production. Find out exactly what you are in for.
Confirm your rate! Some pay by the hour, some by project, some don’t pay PA’s and get work done by hiring interns.

2. Don’t walk in the door five minutes late with a lame excuse. Keep in mind, impressions (no matter how useless in the real world – debatable) count in this industry. So do make full use of impressions.

3. Keep your eyes open and your mouth shut. Seniors tend to get nervous when the young punk comes up with bright ideas. I am not sure about the rest of the world, but this tends to happen in Malaysia.

4. Don’t be afraid to ask a questions. Every one knows that you are new so you are entitled to ask.

5. But, do not start ask a barrage of questions about every piece of gear. It will drive people crazy. Remember, you are not in class, it’s a paid job. Besides, if you pay attention, you will learn.

6. Don’t bloat about your latest DV short. Most of the time, these guys are spending more in 20 minutes than you did on the entire short. Besides, they are not interested in your art. Most guys are in this not for the love of film making (even though they will tell you other wise), but are in it for the money. So, don’t piss them off.

7. If you are asked to do something new, or one that you do not know how to do, do not try to bluff your way through. The production house will not call you for any more jobs.

8. Don’t start handing out your ideas on how to get something done. Production crews have been doing their thing for a long time. Even though your idea is really awesome, just shut up. They do not appreciate a “DV, punk” telling them what to do. I typically approach them when they are on break, and ask them for they “opinion” about my new idea.

9. If there is an issue with safety, then do be loud! But, confirm the threat first. I know PA who have gotten into trouble for not brining out safety issues.

10. On the set, you need to pay attention to the flow of things. Try anticipate a need. If you see a light being set, extension cord handy or your hand on a c-stand if they need it. If the director calls for a camera placement where some items are in the way, be ready to move them. If the set is starting to run low on something (coffee, food, water) be ready get some more.

Sounds pretty menial rite? It is! Remember, you are there to learn and this is probably the only way you are going to be on set, so enjoy the experience. It is probably not the most pleasant experience, but, a little bit of thick skin will take you the extra mile.

Make sure you have the following with you:

Comfortable shoes:
You are most likely going to be on your feet for more than 10 hours, so make sure you are ready.

Appropriate clothing:
Check out the weather forecast if you’re shooting outside. I’ve been on a shoot where we’ve started on a hot day and end the rain. Obviously, I wished I had prepared. If you’re going into a corporate office environment, you shouldn’t be wearing a dirty t-shirt that looks like you slept in a box. A hat however, is always handy.

Notepad and pen or pencil:
You may be asked to get stuff (coffee – remember thick skin) and you will have to know the 16 different flavors that was requested, and the 38 other instructions. Also, some directors get very excited when they talk to their PA’s and forget that the lowly PA’s are really nervous, and speak so fast that you might not be able to make out what was said. If you whip out a pen and small note pad and take notes, you will look prepared and may score points. Besides, excited directors don’t like to repeat and offer to speak in other languages for clarification.

Change:
Always have some change for parking meters if you sent to run errands.

A map of the area:
keep this in your car (or any other place). Getting lost on set, and come back late will get you on the bad books with a lot of people. Most modern production companies will have specialized personal taking care of catering, and transport, but, it doesn’t hurt to be prepared.

A fanny pack:
You can cram goodies that can be used when lunch is late. Though some production companies have their own junk food, you probably wont have time to be helping yourself. M&M’s, Mars bars, and jelly beans are my favorite!

Cell Phone and Charger:
Some production companies will abuse your phone and you’ll end up using up all your minutes with no reimbursement. So, you might want to check if you are being reimbursed before you offer to whip out that phone.

Gloves:
I learnt too late that gloves are good for protecting your hands if you have do heavy duty dirty work. I had to coil cables that were running though a drain. I Will let your imagination fill in the rest.

A Leatherman Multi-tool or similar tool:
They just come in handy in all kinds of circumstances. I did not have this until recently and the micro leather man that I am now using has saved my life several times.

Marker:
You just might want to label things.

Flashlight:
I carry a small mag light. You may end up wrapping up at night, in the dark, in the middle of nowhere and...well, you get the picture.

Sunscreen:
For those sunny days. It will save you from skin cancer. Use one that is water proof (cause you just might get wet), and one that has a SPF greater than 70.

Bug spray:
Mosquitoes can get mighty nasty where ever you are. On a recent shoot, I was nailed twenty times in one minute by the bloodsuckers. On another shoot, I found too late that sand flies had gotten me about 50 times!

In case you have to do some grip work, make sure you have the following with you. Most production companies will have these items in their tool box so you do not need to get them. So you might want to check before you go.

3 prong adapter:
(Sometimes called an Edison adapter) so you can plug lights into 2 prong outlets. On a recent shoot, I discovered too late that I absolutely needed an adapter too keep the baby-talents entertained.

Cloth pegs:
Used to attach gels to lights. They come in handy. And its kinda cool to whip one out when the chief grip asks for one ;)

Gaffers tape:
This amazing product can be used for anything from securing cables, marking start positions, creating labels, sealing reel cans, you get the picture. Make this your best friend on set!

A cheap circuit tester:
You can test to see if an outlet is hot before running a light to it. I always carry one, especially on location scouts.

A belt clip:
I don’t own one yet (dont have long terms plans here). But I can see that it will be useful to carry all your tools + the very essential bottle of water.

Once you survive the first day (you will), make sure you thank the production team for taking you on. If the crew’s going out after the shoot, you may want to go along to get in with the crew. This helps in finding outer opportunities to work on the team.

Once the shoot is complete, remember to thank who ever brought you onboard. Check in occasionally to see if there is any new work, but don’t be a pest. Once every two weeks or so should be enough. Become friends whoever does the hiring ;)

Article removed...

2006-09-11T22:02:00.000+08:00

I have come to realize, from the long responses that I have received from kai ting and *k, that my pervious post does not convey the message that I intended to get across as eloquently as is acceptable.

I apologize for the short coming, and the confusion, and inappropriate rhetoric that was used within the passage. Obviously, a mistake has been made, and I have removed the post before it can do any more damage.

The article was written in the sprit that women should be respected more than they currently are. But, that message did not, as I had said earlier, come out right! I shall work on this piece further, and have it ready at a later point of time J

My thanks to *k and kai ting, for pointing out flaws in my writing. Thank you for pointing out an error before it went too far.

The worm song...

2006-09-01T00:10:00.000+08:00

A few weeks ago, one of my executive producers (lets call her K) sang a song which stuck in my head like glue. I loved the song the moment I heard it! Well, K, ofcourse did a good job with the vocals, and though I wish I could have brought to u the entire version, I have here the lyrics!

Its called the worm song, i love it for what its worth, and it goes something like this:

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,

Guess I'll go eat worms,
Long, thin, slimy ones; Short, fat, juicy ones,
Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms.

Down goes the first one, down goes the second one,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm.
Up comes the first one, up comes the second one,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm.

Nobody loves me, everybody hates me
Think I'll go and eat worms
Long ones, short ones, fat ones, thin ones
See how they wriggle and squirm

I bite off the heads, and suck out the juice
And throw the skins away
Nobody knows how fat I grow
On worms three times a day
Ohh...nobody loves me.

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
Think I'll go eat worms.
Big fat juicy ones, Eensie weensy squeensy ones,
See how they wiggle and squirm.

Chomp off their heads and squeeze out the juice
And throw their tails away
Nobody knows how I survive
On worms three times a day.

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me
I'm goin' down the garden to eat worms
Long thin slimy ones, short fat fuzzy ones
Ooey gooey, ooey gooey worms

Long thin slimy ones slip down easily
Short fat fuzzy ones don't
Short fat fuzzy ones stick to your teeth
And the juice goes slurpin' (slurping noise) down your throat

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
think I'll go eat worms...
big fat juicy ones, little slimy skinny ones,
hope they don't have germs!"

The greatest joy in the world: a place called home.

2006-08-27T02:33:00.000+08:00

Home… this word can have many definitions. To some of us, it can be a place where we rest, to others it can be where they are at peace. To some others, it can be where their loved ones reside. It can be where people are most comfortable. It can be where tears roll down, a place of worship, a place of joy, a place to sing, a place to think, plan, decide. Or a place where personal history is crafted.

My definition of a home can be best be described by the following. Some of us come to realize that we know no such place. And sometimes yearn for what others call home. In the many poems written about home, I take refuge in knowing and dreaming that perhaps someday, one day, I will belong in a place called home.

For 27 years I had been searching not knowing what it was.
I thought it was fame, thought it was fortune, thought it was glory.
None seem to ease the tension that made me search for more.
Alas, I realize… all my life, I have been searching for a place called home.

These lines mean a lot to me. Along with this realization comes the release of emotions that have eluded me for so long. Better late than never they say!

I have spent the past weeks pondering and literally stepping into low gear. Not wanting to blog, not wanting to talk, not wanting to go places, but just wanting to be alone. Some of those I know, understood, but some, did not. But that’s okay, for it was a great investment in myself. No cost I reckon can equal the benefit of gaining personal insight.

Home I guess, I where the heart is. But, what do you do if you don’t have any such place? Where do you then keep your heart safe? Where then do call a home? I guess for now, I shall never know the answers to these questions. But, perhaps, I have moved a step forward in knowing that I yearn for a place to call home.

"Peranakan": Marriage Practices of a Dying Race

2006-06-15T16:12:00.000+08:00

The Peranakan community (or culture) are a dying race in the south east Asian region. Many people currently struggle at reviving the unique culture. This paper was written in honor of the Peranakan community and its people. It was originally presented by me for a course in Intercultural Communication in Malaysia. It is kinda long and I apologize for that. This paper outlines the customs involved in a Peranakan wedding, and some history behind it. Enjoy :)

Prior to the fifth century AD, Chinese records did not contain many references to the Nanyang, (Levanthes, 1994) which is the general term used to refer to the South Asian region. It is generally accepted however that before the inception of large sea going vessels, the ‘Persian trade’ occurred overland from West Asia to the northern parts of China. The availability of ship building technology increased use of sea routes to transport goods from the rest of the world through the Nanyang, and into China (Levanthes, 1994). This trend led to the rise of ports of call along strategic points of their voyage, namely in the Malay Archipelago. Thus, the exotic marine and jungle produce of the Malay Archipelago was drawn into the international trade of early Chinese (Lee & Tan, 2000).

The Malay Archipelago borders two monsoon wind systems. The channel of Malacca are geographically located at the ‘end’ of the monsoons, thus allowing ships to wait for a change of winds until they could continue further, or return homeward (Levanthes, 1994). Thus, by leaving China with the northeast monsoon at the end of the year, they sailed back home with the southwest monsoon in the middle of each year. Therefore about five months was spent at each port. The long periods of stay enabled them to set up a second home in Malacca (see Charney, Yeoh, & Kiong, 2003, for a description of the Chinese diaspora). During their extended visits at the port, the Chinese men took wives to look after their businesses when they returned annually to China (Levanthes, 1994). This essay is concerned about the unique culture that was created through the mixing of early Hindu Malay and Chinese visitors to Melaka.

Peranakan, Baba-Nyonya, Baba, Baba Chinese, Straits Chinese, or Straits-born Chinese are terms that are used to describe the descendants of the early Chinese immigrants to the straits settlements of Malacca, Penang, and Singapore. In both Bahasa Malaysia and Bahasa Indonesia, 'Peranakan' means 'descendants' (Kuake, 2006), while Baba and Nyonya refer to male and female descendants respectively. The initial diaspora of Chinese from the early Ming era into the straits settlements created an interesting mix of Malay and Chinese traditions.

The religion of the local Malay population at that time was mainly Animistic or Hindu (Lee & Tan, 2000). Even though the current constitution of Malaysia defines ...........

I have removed the rest of this essay as i am told that students from HELP University College social sciences class have been plagiarizing it.

Common you guys, shame on you.

If any one of you would like to read the essay, please email me at astrorat@gmail.com and i will mail you a copy.

24 hour star... - updated

2006-06-08T11:22:00.000+08:00

Wow.. time truly is flying by. Its been a month plus at the production company and I am learning lots of new stuff. Its really a shame, but I have not been thinking much about psych. I have not had the time to read.

However, interestingly, a Malaysian daily called “the sun” featured me in its education section. They had asked me a few questions about clinical psych and based their article on that interview. That’s my 24 hours of stardom!

You can check it out here

if the page asks you for a user email and password, type astrorat@gmail.com and enter the password "astro"

UPDATE: Also note: look out for the 6th June issue :D

Casting: A Guide - Updated!

2006-05-28T14:28:00.000+08:00

I have been occupied with casting people in the production house that I am freelancing. Casting (similar to auditioning in the drama word) is a tedious process. It was elusive and no one wanted to set aside a few minutes to explain either. I guess disclosing this information would threaten their own job security.

Hence today, I have outlined a step by step process that any beginner could use. It has nothing to do with psychology. But, I guess when a psychology student works in an area that he’s not familiar, he starts documenting and writing papers about everything.

i am submitting this work process paper to the company that I work with so that they can give it to new recruits who unlike me would not have to struggle to learn unexplained facets of production! But keep in mind that this process is what typically happens when people are auditioned.

The process typically starts when the director (sometimes a producer) requests for casting and briefs you on the job

1. Brief from director:
a. Budget
i. Budget for talents
ii. Budget for advertising
iii. Budget for casting agencies (typically 20% of talent budget)

b. Scripts and story board

c. Special instructions: things that you need to look out for and stuff that you need to avoid.

d. Deadlines

e. Your fees

2. Plan documentation and casting sequence
a. Casting registration
i. Forms: amend and create casting registration forms to capture important information about the talent.

b. Serial number: serial number each talent to keep track forms

c. Equipment: Photo camera, video camera, computer, dv tapes, large hard drive: determine if the production house provides this equipment of if personal equipment needs to be used

d. Photo and video archival strategy: determine how photographs and video recordings are named, and stored. This should include a strategy to name dv taps in a logical manner.

e. Working hours: determine a work schedule. Typically casting starts at 11AM and ends at 7PM. This schedule should be adjusted to suit talent needs.

f. Contact email and phone number: determine how talents can contact you when necessary.

g. Work space:
i. Determine where will you be working
ii. Determine where will you cast the talents? Will it be outdoors or in a dedicated casting room?iii. Determine if the casting area will be shared with other members of the staff.
iv. Determine obtain props that will be required for castingv. Find a comfortable waiting area for talents to wait their turn

h. Casting assistant:
i. What role does s/he play
ii. Determine how could s/he enhance the talents casting experience and to the overall success of the process

3. Talent recruitment
a. Direct talent recruitment strategy:
i. Advertising budgets: Determine how much it would cost to advertise on leading local news papers. Advertising is done though media agencies. Scout for a media agency that provides maximum coverage for minimum cost.

ii. Posters to be designed: design and print posters that you may place at strategic locations. iii. Payments must be tracked: Both media agencies and community notice boards charge a fee for their service. Provide sufficient information to accounts department to prepare necessary checks

b. Agency:
i. Casting brief: email or fax a brief to the agency requesting for talents. This brief also acts as an informal agreement to do business, and hence will need to be signed by you.
1. Name of commercial
2. Roles: brief description of the type of talent required (age, sex, skin color, height, etc etc)3. Budgets (additional 20%?)
4. Caution: dealing with agencies need care. Casting agents have been known to bargain for more fees for the talents they introduce. Make sure you establish a rapport with the agency before working with them.

c. Word of mouth: inform other producers, friends, workmates, about your requirements.

d. Ex-talents: look out for talents who may have already worked with you. Look for prior records or speak to other producers in the organization.

4. Casting sequence
a. Plan: what you will be doing during casting. How will you photograph, and video the talents.

b. Plan: what you will make your talents do

c. Decide: what expressions you will look out for

d. Plan: what dramatic routines will the talents have to do

e. Decide: how best you could communicate your requirement to the talent.

f. Determine: if you are required to keep the original storyboard confidential. If so, determine an alternate storyboard for your talents

5. Petty cash:
a. Get: petty cash from the producer.

b. Maintain: records of all money transactions. Hence you will need to retain all bills and invoices for accounting purposes.

6. Start casting
a. Introduce yourself: “hi hows it going? My name is X, and I will be casting you” works!

b. Explain budgets and shoot dates. Proceed ONLY if the talent consents (* agency clients are NOT advised of budgets)

c. Provide brief information about the TVC, shoot dates, and evaluation process.

d. Registration and waiting period: make sure that talents who are waiting their turn are comfortable. Ask the receptionist or casting assistant (if theres one) to help them with filling up forms.

e. Dealing with nerves: even experienced and professional talents may feel nervous or awkward. Some strategies to put your talents at ease include:
i. Small talk, chat
ii. Smile
iii. Tell them what they will be doing and where they are going
iv. Ask them if they feel nervous, and help them deal with it.
v. Assure them that they are doing a great job (even if they are not) while casting.
vi. Be honest if they are mucking up.
vii. Use humor. Jokes about mistakes in casting helps (e.g. Yesterday, I accidentally casted a guy waiting to collect a check)
viii. Tell them that you will be photographing them, and ask if its ok.
ix. Make sure they are completely relaxed before you proceed. Don’t rush them even if you have a busy day.

f. Photographs
i. Close-up portraits
ii. Medium shots with and without pose
iii. Long shots

g. Introductory video
i. Close up introduction of name, age, and height
ii. Close up profile: turn to left and right. Ask the talent to turn left, and then turn right.
iii. Long shot

h. Video of scenes
i. Explain scene and do a practice round
ii. Remind yourself of the casting sequence
iii. Perform at least 2 takes per scene.
iv. Repeat for each scene.
v. It will be useful if you act out the scene. It helps when they know that you are willing to work with them.

7. Before ending the casting session
a. Thank them for taking the time to come.

b. Show them the way out

c. Remind them of important deadlines (e.g. Selection announcement, shoot, etc)

8. Evaluation of talent
a. Dramatic quality: Ability to easily act out the scenes required

b. Emotional expression: Ability to act out variable emotions.

c. Aesthetic quality: Does s/he look attractive for the casted role.

d. Cooperation: If the talent is cooperative with the casting executive.

e. Comments: additional comments that may be useful in selecting or rejecting a talent for a particular scene.

9. Presentation to dop/director/producer
a. Select the top 50% of talents based on a systematic evaluation (refer to evaluation forms)

b. Print out the best portrait-shot, on non-photographic paper with low quality printer setting, of the talent.

c. Prepare short video of the talents
i. Name and height
ii. Introduction sequence
iii. Scenes casted

d. Explain the talents strengths and weaknesses (as per your evaluation) to the dop/producer/directore. Record comments made by the audience as appropriate.

10. Recast:
a. Call short listed talents in for recasting if necessary

b. Explain why you want them in, and what it means to you.

11. Presentation to agency
a. Prepare high quality portrait prints of talents short listed by dop/director/producer

b. Mount pictures on a black presentation board.

c. Categorize the pictures as necessary (e.g. By scene, by role, by age, by gender. This depends on the story board)

d. Prepare video to accompany the pictures on either dvd or dv tape.

e. After the meeting, record details of short listed talents

12. Tentative confirmations:
a. Inform direct and agency talents about the tentative selection.

b. Advice talents and agency to keep shoot dates free.

c. Gather additional information from talents (e.g. Shirt size, shoe size, etc)

13. Presentation to client/agency
a. Repeat step 9, but this time publish the photographs to a book. You will have to work closely with the producer as the photographs will be a small part of a larger project.

b. After the meeting, record the details of short listed talents

14. Confirmation
a. Inform direct and agency talents about their selection.

b. Following information must be made clear to both agency and talent
i. Wardrobe fitting dates and times (obtain from producer)
ii. Shoot dates and times (obtain from producer)
iii. Shoot location and time (obtain from producer)
iv. Directions to shoot location if no transport provided (obtain from producer)
v. Information about shoot (e.g. Food, first aid, nearest doctor, duration, toilets)
vi. Pickup time (and drop time) if transport is provided (obtain from producer)
vii. If visitors are allowed or not (seek advice from the producer or director)
viii. If personal photographs/cameras are allowed on set.
ix. Your contact number

15. Wardrobe fitting:
a. Liaise with producer.

b. Organize food for agency, client, staff, and talents. Plan the menu ahead of time.

c. Organize talents for the fitting

d. Photograph them in their costumes. This photograph will be used by the producers to reconfirm the wardrobe with the clients. It would be useful to preplan a well light area for this purpose.

e. Print photographs on the same day and submit to the producer. This will be used on shoot day.

16. Pre-shoot
a. Provide information about the shoot as needed. Eg. Maps, addresses, call times, etc.

b. Liaise and organize transport for the talents

c. Arrange for any kind of comfort items that’s necessary for the talents.

17. On shoot day
a. Arrive early and set up a place for the talents to gather

b. Greet talents and agency on arrival and escort them to a waiting area and keep them comfortable.

c. Provide information about the shoot as needed.

d. Explain food, drinks, and toilet arrangements as needed

e. Make sure talents and agency are comfortable and are taken care of.

18. Payments
a. Agency client
i. Obtain invoice before making payment
ii. Pay the agent
iii. Obtain signature and company seal acknowledging payment

b. Direct client
i. Make cash or check payment
ii. Obtain signature acknowledging payment

19. Close job
a. Provide accounts department with all invoices and bills.
b. Collect your fees!

20. Go party with the rest of the crew!

Note that this sequence was intended to be a guide and is by no means a bible of sorts. Items within this document is meant to be adopted and used diligently, as seen best.

Learning curves

2006-05-11T11:03:00.000+08:00

New learning experiences have always intrigued me. Be it in IT, management, advertising, public relations, psychology research, human services, movie making, partying, or my latest stint in a production company. Learning experiences in each case have been varied.

In IT, it started out as fun, excitement, and eventually the excitement died down. I later found my self working under the management side of things. Then again, there was the excitement, and sense of newness. Psychology was a little different. It started out as exciting, became extremely difficult, and then evened out and stayed exciting. I still find it exciting. And now, there’s the movie making experience!

Right now, the experience is an uphill struggle. I have been going home exhausted and utterly wasted. But, the work has so far been rewarding. I have been learning what to pay attention to while casting people for a shoot. The company that I have been working with, does tons and tons of TV commercials. The current project is for a particular brand of diapers, and as you can imagine, I am working with children!

Now, here’s when all that experience and knowledge in Psychology comes into play (or should I say, work). I am learning from experience that working with children is NO child’s play! Though I have been casting about 20 babies (between 1 ½ to 3 years of age) in their diapers I can tell you that its not easy. We (my self and the casting manager) get first brief the parents on what the shoot is about and then let the baby just play in the special “casting set” that’s set up for the kids! We then try to get them to do specific actions, such as getting the babies to look at the diapers, getting them to spin around, and to run around. All normal child like activities don’t you think?
I remember the theories of development that I learnt during the 2nd year of my psych program. Hats of to Ainsworth for the patience in observing the kids and then arriving at patterns of attachment style. This particular cast requires that parents keep quite during most parts of the shoot, while the Casting manager and I, do our little special sequence of shot. The bright florescent lights, on the play mat however does not help and leaves some children running to their parents. This is however not the case with a some other kids. And they are completely comfortable with the fact that they are doing strange things with two strangers!

I have met all kinds of attachment styles in the past 3 days. The secure babies, the preoccupied babies, the dismissing babies, and fearful babies, and I should add, the EXTREMLY fearful babies. Some of them get so frightened, that they literally freeze. They just stand there and stare at you. They neither cry, nor move, nor blink an eye. They just stare!

Though casting setups are typically strange for children, the experience is strange for me too. But interestingly, i have appreciated dealing with strange situations. I am not sure what kind of attachment style I have would fall under, but I cant help ponder how my own attachment style influences they way I deal with ambiguous situations today. I cant help wonder in what ways is my need to explore, my desire for varies experiences, and my need to seek out novel stimuli related to my childhood experiences. No doubt, the children who I am casting may have stories of their own. But, more importantly, I wonder what they will turn into in the next 20 years. Will their attachment styles stay? Or would varied life experiences change the way they encounter learning experiences?

My own learning experience at this production company has been challenging. I could not think about putting my thoughts together until today. Life was a hectic rush, with every stimuli novel and difficult to process. As I slowly learn the culture in the company, I am now taking time out to process those thoughts! I should say that its really difficult, but its happening slowly but surely.

I shall leave you with more photographs at my recent hiking trip to the southern part of Malaysia (Johor). Enjoy!

up the hills: putri gunang ledang

2006-05-09T18:08:00.000+08:00

I am jus back after a 2 day jungle excursion at the Johor national park. Johor national park (on the south of Malaysia, near Singapore and about 4 hours from KL) is home to the mountain called “putri gunung ledang” (this leterlly translates to “princess on mountain 'ledang')

The event was organized by the Nanyang press, as a occasion to celebrate the successful fund raising campaign. ACTS (A call to serve; and NGO that works with refugees in Malaysia sponsored me), and is probably the only NGO in Malaysia that works to support refugees in the country. Many thanks to all the people who donated to this cause.

The mountain climb was super exciting. About 40 of us stayed at the Johor national park. The day climb can best be described in pictures and a short movie. I am in the process of editing a short clip of the two days, but will leave you with sights at the top!
water fall at the bottom

View at the top
amoung the clouds

Among the hills

The fake psychologist is currently working as a production assistant in an advertising company. Am currently working with the casting manager, selecting babies for a commercial that’s being produced! Why am I doing this? Well.. I need the money to put me though 2 more years of grad school. I should add that the experience, is *wonderful*. What’s so cool about these shoots is that they film on 35mm. To movie makers, this is means that its created on the real thing.. the tape and gives perhaps the best known quality after recording.

Astrorat Revealed!

2006-04-29T23:59:00.000+08:00

All my friends who have been patiently waiting for the past week even though there were no updates, I thank you immensely. I have been involved in defending my finals. The preparation leading to it was more of a sweet-bitter recall of memories of the past four years, than one of reading and understanding. Perhaps reading and understanding is in itself not as important, than the experience of education.

The past semester, my final one before I kick off to full time graduate school, was an interesting one. The best loved of all subjects was an elective, movies. I discovered that I have what it takes to become an amateur documentary maker.

My last post on refugees introduced ya all to the plight of refugees in Malaysia. Making a short documentary on the Malaysian refugee story was indeed the best experience I have had in a long time. For those of you how were waiting patiently for a link to download it, here it is.

I am trying to get a DVD version of the video to raise funds for refugees. But, thats being planned.. please do leave your comments.

With the production of the movie, I would like to take this opportunity to reveal to ya all, who astrorat is, or looks like! (I know some of you are thinking, “wow”!). yes, I am amazed too ;)
So, if you look at the profile picture, you can see that I have included my picture. For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Raam. *there*

“astrorat” was a nick name used by me since I was 8! Imagine that! nearly 20 years ago, I logged into MiRc! :D I love staring at the stars and wondering, if life really did exist beyond where I am. Though I still keep wondering, I have now started wondering about other things :) (i shall save that info for a later date). I choose ‘rat’, because it is my belief that rats are probably the most successful explorers in the known world.

Yes, they have been known to carry disease, and spread the plague. BUT, if you think about it, there’s always a rat where ever we go! As a student of psychology, I have come to respect the little furry friends, for they perform to us the most valuable task of furthering dangerous research. I am not sure if they really consented to that nor am I happy about the ethics behind it. But I know that they are a valuable lot. The combination of my love for astronomy, astrophysics, and deep love for the little furry friends, lead to the creation of “astrorat”

Nearly 19 years has passed since that day (yes, the real astrorat is an adult ladies and gentlemen). The creation of that character helped me in many ways to connect to a world that in many ways was harsh.

As a treat to myself, and a way to celebrate life, I am currently writing a biography of astrorat, and more important, its creator :) There are many stories that make me who I am. i want to celebrate the fact that achieving dreams is possible even in the most unlikeliest of conditions persist. It doesn’t matter is you were once homeless, hungry, and a refugee in your own right. It doesn’t matter that the people who loved you the most turn around and tell you that you wont make it. It really doesn’t matter.

What matters most is the belief that you will make it. And when things gets hard along the way, you need to remember all the reasons why you got going in the journey in the first place. And its that journey that I would like to share with the world.

Couple of things have happened in this post. I have revealed to the world who I am, I have explained to you the creation of astrorat, I have told you (in some way), why I am so moved to help the refugee communities, I have told you a link to my latest documentary, and I have told you about reaching a goal that was once thought impossible.

*yay to me*

Research colloquium with a cuppa

2006-04-19T04:28:00.000+08:00

Fellow blogger and friend, Serena made me realise how much I have started to worship the awesome kick-start from the wonderful wonderful warm cup of coffee. Final exams are around the corner, and i realise that frequent the kitchen to grab a yummy mug at least 3 times each night. She is right its a great "engine-starter”, however unlike her, I restrict my self to the less exotic instant coffee :p

My university just concluded its 11th research colloquium and like all other times, I shall take the time to comment on some of the good, bad, and… ermm. Lets just say, not so nice of the presentations.

Its lovely to see the university organizing its self (eventually) and improve its quality. I strongly believe in the notion that student quality is truly reflected in university quality.

This semesters colloquium saw from improvements: the colloquium is a day long event showcasing student research in psychology. Most research is done as part of course requirement and represents the creative minds of the students of HELP’s psychology program.

1. Improved sign-up mechanism
Kuddos to Edmond Kwok for taking the initiative to develop and host hucers.com. Those of you who do not know, HUCers handles the tedious process of student signups. Thus, it allows students from HELP to sign up for the colloquium sessions.

Sad to see however, that the website is not supported by the university. I am not going to get into a discussion about the politics of this (there certainly is some) but I want to raise the question why.

In terms of improvement, I would like to see the new system bounce an email to each student reminding them of their signup information. It could come as a timely reminder.

Though the next step would be to have an automated attendance checking system (at the entrance), but that I reckon would not happen due to budgetary concerns.

Good job Edmund!

2. Key note address
Just like the heading, students were left guessing till the last moment: “by whom?”

Ok seriously, who would want to go for a key note address (unless you want to kill time on a Saturday afternoon) when you don’t know whos talking?

But on the brighter side, at least there such a thing. I reckon that future marketing campaigns from the university will carry the information about the talk that happened (no pun intended).

I am not sure if this “talk” took place though. I dident attend ;)

3. Presentation arena and atmosphere
This is an area that I feel needs to be improved. There are a couple of things that dosent rock.

a. Formal dress code:
While formal dress code was made mandatory for the presenters, it seems a little strange that judges, chair persons, and attendants (those taking attendance and ushering) lack the kind of dressing that the occasion calls. I shall not mention names, but whats up with this particular chair-person who wore jeans and t?

Formal dressing should apply to all, in my opinion. Education should be communicated though role models. And if the role models feel that its not that important to be dressed formally, why should the students feel any different?

b. Stage area:
This needs to look decent. The stage in 3 (out of 6) of the venues looked like a total wreck. The multitude of wires made it look like an engineering disaster. I guess some of you may not agree with me, and feel that how “neat” hall looks is secondary. However, keep in mind, that the colloquium is a showcase of the best of student work. This is an opportunity that students take to ‘show off’ their talents.

I know that some of you will be quick to point out the typical students don’t take such an attitude towards colloquium and that students have started treating the event as just another day to get by. But that blame really lies in the way colloquium is presented to students.

I feel that the sprit of the colloquium lies in what its made to represent to the students. If the university slacks in its organization of the event, students will respond in a similar way.

Don’t get me wrong. I believe that the sole organiser, Winnee, (who’s been whisking her magic for a long time now) has been and is doing an absolutely amazing job. Colloquium has come a very long way under her guidance. The pace at which she has organized events is something that we should learn to envy. But, she could do more with increased support from other faculty members.

For one, a change in attitude by some staffers who have been quoted as saying out in their class “oh damn, colloquium is a waste of time”. That kind of attitude doesn’t help.

I propose an upgrading of colloquium, as a day of celebration on the student calendar. I propose the creation of a colloquium committee, (much like any other event). The committee should be represented by both members of the faculty and a healthy proportion of both junior and senior students.

I feel that involving students into the creation process will not just generate ideas, but will keep students actively interested in the success of the day.

4. Food!
Kuddos to the Peer Support Group, for providing refreshments (at a cost though). I have heard complains about the cost burning a hole in the pocket. I think its time for more variety.

I feel that the involvement of a club (PSG) in the colloquium is an example of student participation. Its good to see the PSG turn up and make the delicious dishes available to the participants. I am hoping that the next colloquium has more clubs participating (all not selling food of course).

5. Guests, Outsiders, and Visitors:
I touched on this during my last post on colloquium. The department could do better and play an active role in opening up this event to members of the public. It’s a great marketing strategy if you think about it. Research colloquium showcases what you talk about in the paid adverts and road shows. What’s a better way of increasing public awareness about a psychologist-to-be (their sometimes-quassi experiments) than by inviting them to colloquium.

It time we had industry leaders, lecturers/researchers of other universities, government spys, members from the ISA, interested citizens, could all be present to listen to the student achievers present their research. Heck, i
want my mommy to see me present :D

The upgrade of the audience would naturally encourage both staff and students to produce better quality research.

6. Staff presentation:
There’s so much of staff research (at least that’s what the brochure says). Why not use colloquium to present this research? I am sure staff members will be equally excited as students to present their work. This has many advantages.

-Helps students learn first hand about how the pros do it. What a better way to improve your next presentation than by watching the gurus take a shot at it.

-Help those present learn about ongoing university research, thus increasing the overall awareness of ongoing research.

-Boost the self-esteem of staff members. Why leave all that hard work hidden. Lets hear it.

-Opportunity for students to know about research that the university is undertaking. Might give potential ‘future’ researchers some ideas.

-Gives some staff members a taste of what it means to be a student. Lets face it, some talk a lot about research presentations, when they themselves would be nervous to present.

-Encourages staff to indulge in more research work (in case the brochure isent that accurate).

That is all! …. For now…

For those of you who may be students like me, shame on you for wasting time reading blogs. Shouldn’t you be reading your texts or something ;)

And since you have come so far, good luck for exams.

See you all after the 28th! :D

beyond the barbed wire: refugees in malaysia

2006-04-12T23:00:00.000+08:00

Malaysia: The United Nations High Commission for Refugees (UNHCR, 2006) claims that nearly 40 thousand refugees have been registered by them, Kuala Lumpur. Independent sources from other local NGO’s reckon that the real number of refugees (registered + unregistered) exceed hundred thousand

Where do these people come from? What are some of their problems? Are they dangerous people? Those were some of the questions answered by the 11 minute documentary “beyond the barbed wire” created by *ahh hmmm* yours truly.

While the title represents a sense of escape from captivity, the documentary aims to show that this escape is far from the utopic freedom that refugees have dreamt of from the confines of their ‘barbed wired’ world.

However, life beyond the barbed wire poses a whole new set of problems. In Malaysia, they are constantly persecuted and treated as criminals, thieves, crooks, and evil monsters here to do harm. Refugees are thoughtlessly deported back into the original misery. As Malaysia is not a signatory to the UN convention of human rights, just treatment of asylum seekers is a dream.

Stories of torture and murder at government detention centres pop up when ever you speak to refugees. Those who have tried to make this issue public have been ostracised and persecuted with the claim that they have brought shame to Malaysia. But, the real shame lies in the governments lack of concern for human suffering. For what ever reasons, Malaysia does not go public about the current refugee situation.

Where do refugees in Malaysia come from?

Majority of the Refugees in West Malaysia come from Burma, and Acheh. Then there are the refugees from the island of ‘Indanar’ of Philippines, in east Malaysia (Sabah and Sarawak - the land of orang-utans).

Burmese refugees arrive in West Malaysia via land routes though Thailand. They are usually smuggled across the border via links with various “agents”. The Achehnese refugees tend to come in via boat (but I am not entirely sure).

On arriving in Malaysia, they are persecuted under the immigration act, and are condemned as “illegal immigrants”, a term that’s frequently used to refer to refugees by local media. This stereotyping, leads for the mistreatment of a population who are already stateless and homeless.

While the documentary does not explore the various political domains, it focuses on the human aspect of a refugee. The documentary is designed to help the typical refugee break existing negatives perceptions of who refugees are. It tries to show Malaysians what it would feel like to be one?

This documentary is was successfully made due to the contributions from the following persons. Ai Ling the cinematographer, Nadine the producer, Tessa the assistant producer, Sangeeta the production assistant. And then, there are the non-technical team of supporters and reviewers. The most important are Katrina J, and May Kuen. It was a real pleasure directing and editing!

on site!

I am currently trying to find a place to host a copy of the movie. But until I do that, please write to astrorat@gmail.com for a copy. Bear in mind, that it is about 50MB in size!

Other resources

Human Rights Watch: about the role of UNHCR in Malaysia:

Human Rights Watch: article on refugees in Malaysia:

Jesuit Refugee Services (JRS): report on Acehnese refugees in Malaysia

Refugee International: article on Malaysian refugee:

ReliefWeb: article on Refugees in Malaysia:

Suram (Malaysian human rights group): article on Refugee issues in Malaysia:

Tenaganita: article to release refugees held inhumanly:

Tenaganita: article urging to ratify UN convention on Human rights:

United Nations High Commission for Refugees (Malaysia): Urging government to protect and not abuse refugees during “crackdown”:

Sujiatun: Action now...

2006-04-09T15:14:00.000+08:00

My post on Sujiatun seems to be receiving much more attention that I had hoped for. There is call for concern about the accuracy of the details provided about the events taking place. Some have gone so far as to exclaim that nothings going on because some western agency said so.

What seems to be forgotten however is that in the midst of these arguments of the accuracy of numbers lie numerous eyewitness accounts of torture, abuse, murder, and brutal killings involving the Chinese government and the said Hospital. These events have been related to a group of people who practice an alternate form of exercise called “Falun Gong”

There was this imminent feeling that some keep missing this very point. Regardless of how the message was formed, framed, and presented there IS an important message. And this message is that there is something going wrong in Sujiatun.

“The Sunday service” person seems to assume that the worlds issue can be solved only with rationalization, and accurate debates. However, debating for the definitional accuracy does nothing to rectify the issue at hand. Research to find the truth is more important. Without accurate information, you have nothing. Our primary concern as citizens of this world should be protecting each other. And when you hear muffled cries from you neighbour, we MUST investigate. If we do not know what the sounds is, we still investigate. We still want to know the truth. We do NOT alter our cognitions by telling ourselves, “oh.. its just my neighbours tv”. “Sunday Service” prefers to think nothing of it, choosing instead not to investigate the truth.
Don’t get me wrong. I have not been to the said hospital in Sujiatun. But, when I hear of eye witness account of torture, I know that humanity is not doing something right.

It is relatively easy to hide under a “system” of policies, procedures, arguments, and prefer to rationalise the world outside the US by means of rhetoric. Empty rhetoric is what Sujiatun does not need. Empty rhetoric is what happened when the heads of states from the world argued about what defines ‘genocide’ not so long ago. The result of that was the massacre of a million or more Rwanadan people. Lets not forget other places in the world where definitions, arguments, and empty rhetoric caused the deaths of innocent people. People who could have been saved if the world had reacted sooner.

What more do we need to hear? Do we need to see a million more dead Chinese nationals before a though investigation is justified? What in the name of humanity are some of us thinking when we agree to that question. We need to write to our parliamentarians, write to our papers, speak out in public, tell our friends UNTILL a recognised and credible organization such as the United Nations investigate the incidences.

We MUST NOT deny a fair trial just because the presenting evidence is unclear. We have a duty to investigate and find the that truth now.

-------- Amended information: what can you do ---------

steph raised a very important question: what can we do?
keeping in mind the limited nature of information and its questionable accuracy:

1. Spread the news to your friends.

2. Contact your governments to demand that they conduct an international investigation on the Sujiatun events;

U.S. Department of State
http://www.state.gov
2201 C Street NW
Washington, DC 20520
+1 (202) 647-4000
+1 (202) 647-6803 (China Desk)

Finding U.S. government representatives, please go to below website:http://www.congress.org

3. Contact the United Nations Secretary-General Mr. Kofi Annan and High Commissioner for Human Rights Ms. Louise Arbour, and demand an urgent intervention from their offices:

Hon. Kofi Annan, Secretary-General
United Nations Headquarters
First Avenue at 46th Street
New York, NY 10017
Press Office: (509) 510-2563 ext.: 6343
inquiries@un.org

Louise Arbour
UN High Commissioner for Human Rights
1211 Geneva 10 Switzerland
Spokesperson: +41 (22) 917-9375
Press Relations: +41 (22) 917-3309
External Relations: +41 (22) 917-3965
Fax:+41 (22) 917-0092
jdiaz.hchr@unog.ch

4. Contact delegations of the International Committee of the Red Cross in your area and ask for their intervention: http://www.icrc.org

5. Visit China. Visit Sujiatun. Visit the hospital. Talk to the people there. Get a feel of whats going on your self. Investigate. And share your findings with the world.

Social world: Sujiatun, China

2006-04-01T22:45:00.000+08:00

Some of you may be wondering why my blog have started to highlight social issues over the days rather than "psychology" as the title suggests. However, i find social issues hard to separate from psychology, and reckon that its important to pay attention to our world, so that we better understand the people who represent it.

My tag line invites you to join me as i "meet all kinds of people" and experience all kinds of people in my years in psych school. Though this "meetings" are not always real, the internet is a wonderful place to "meet" interesting people. One such person i came to "meet" is Dr. Shizhong
Chen, the President of the Conscience Foundation.

What a lovely name! 'conscience foundation', i thought to myself. But, then.. the name Sujitun did not mean any thing to me.

By Shizhong Chen Please remember the name: Sujiatun. It will one day be as infamous as Auschwitz and Dachau.

On March 8, 2006, a Chinese journalist on the run from the Chinese communist regime disclosed to Falun Gong practitioners in the United States some appalling news: a secret death camp in Sujiatun, Shenyang City, Liaoning Province in China.

According to this journalist, over 6,000 Falun Gong practitioners have been taken to Sujiatun. "I believe that once they are in they 100% cannot come back out," the journalist said. He also disclosed that there are incineration chambers and a large number of doctors there. "Why are there incineration chambers there? Why are there so many doctors inside? Certainly not for the benevolent treatment of prisoners. Something you simply cannot imagine..."

"The prisoners, the Communist Party definitely will not let them just waste food there. Why are they there then? ... They will all be murdered, and all their organs will be harvested and distributed to hospitals. The sale of human organs is a vastly profitable trade in China."

Falun Gong practitioners are not the only victims of such crimes. One week after the journalist's disclosure, a former nurse whose ex-husband had taken part in harvesting organs from Falun Gong practitioners also stepped forward to testify: "I used to work at the Liaoning Thrombus Treatment Center, which was next to the concentration camp. My ex-husband had taken part in removing corneas from Falun Gong practitioners. This brought disaster to my family."

"In early 2001, my husband was assigned by the hospital to secretly remove corneas from Falun Gong practitioners. He hid this from me at the beginning, but slowly I sensed he was in great agony, had nightmares often, and was always stressed. After my repeated inquiries, he told me the truth in 2003."

"He knew they were Falun Gong practitioners. Every doctor who took part knew. They were told that eliminating Falun Gong was not a crime, but helping the Communist Party to do 'cleansing.' Those who were taken in on the operating tables were anesthetized. Elderly people or children were mostly used for harvesting corneas."

"At the time when my ex-husband told me about this, he could no longer bear the torment of doing such evil things, and decided to leave China to escape the horror. He said to me: you cannot possibly know my despair, because those Falun Gong practitioners were still alive. It was different from removing organs from dead people - they were alive."

"Because of this, I divorced him. I said to him: you are done with your career; you will not be able to hold a scalpel in the future."

"I know there are still Falun Gong practitioners in that hospital," this nurse said in the end. "I hope this crime can be exposed to the international society as quickly as possible, so their lives can be saved. I also hope, through my disclosure, to atone my relative's crime."

The victims are not even limited to Chinese. It is an open secret that China has become the world capital of organ transplantation, and ships human organs to nearby countries such as Thailand. Tens of thousands from different parts of the world have received organ transplants in China and Thailand, being assured that the organs have been legally obtained. How will they and their surgeons feel when they learn about the barbaric organ harvesting, even if the organs harvested from Falun Gong practitioners turn out to account for a portion of all human organs used in transplant operations? Is there a way for them to remove the doubt? Will they want to find out? Or will they bear that doubt and forever avoid mentioning "transplanted in China"?

Another doctor recently stated that extracting organs from living prisoners is common across China. How many more camps like Sujiatun exist? It was precisely because we abhor such appalling crimes that humanity vowed "Never again!" after the shock of the Holocaust. Yet, as this vow is still ringing in the ears of Holocaust survivors, we are in for another shock - or are we? How do we explain to ourselves and our children that we have watched the systematic eradication of Falun Gong for more than six years and allowed it to escalate to the emergence of human organ harvesting factories like Sujiatun?

It is not due to a lack of information. Ever since July 1999, Falun Gong practitioners in China have been taking great risks to collect and send abroad, on a daily basis, detailed information on the extensive and severe human rights violations committed by the Chinese communist regime.

Falun Gong practitioners overseas have worked their hardest to disseminate this information to governments, media, opinion leaders, the United Nations, and the general public to appeal for their attention.

United Nation's Reports It is not because the information is unsubstantiated. In the past few years, many Special Rapporteurs of the United Nations Human Rights Commission have cited in their annual reports numerous cases of torture and killing of Falun Gong practitioners by the Chinese regime.

Special Rapporteur Asma Jahangir wrote in her 2003 report: "The cruelty and brutality of these alleged acts of torture defy description." On October 15, 2004, seven Special Rapporteurs sent a joint letter to China to express their concern about the persecution of Falun Gong. These Special Rapporteurs are the most-respected authorities on human rights. Their findings and opinions on the Chinese regime's persecution of Falun Gong have been reprinted to thousands upon thousands of copies and submitted to world governments and media.

History, unfortunately, repeats itself. Just as the Holocaust information provided by Jewish groups was cast aside or downplayed because of the "unsubstantiated nature of the information" and its "prejudiced sources," information from Falun Gong practitioners has received the same fate. History has also shown that all major atrocities occurred when there was not enough media exposure, when perilous signals were ignored because they were "incomplete" or "unsubstantiated" or from "prejudiced sources" - when evildoers' deceits prevail, when the silence allows the evildoers to carry on unnoticed and unhindered. History, however, never duplicates itself exactly.

There is no major military or ideological confrontation in the world now. While the Allies did not have their focus on saving the Holocaust victims, at least they were fighting the Nazis and determined to win the war. We do not have that excuse now. On the contrary, we are apparently determined to win the market in China.

Technology is far more advanced now than it was in WWII, and we do not even need to be at Auschwitz or Buchenwald to know what is going on there. If 6,000 people have been taken in to Sujiatun and none has come out, how hard is it to see from surveillance satellites the suspicious traffic going in and out to figure out that it is a death camp?

There are now many international human rights laws that were not available before the Nuremberg trials, and there are now many surveillance and protection mechanisms implemented by the United Nations. How hard is it to demand an international investigation into the serious claim of the death camp's existence? What were those international human rights laws established for?

We do not always ignore incomplete or unsubstantiated information from China, however. When Dr. Jiang Yanyong disclosed the Chinese regime's deadly lies about the SARS epidemic, the retired doctor's letter to the media contained only what he had heard from his colleagues. Did the world hesitate for a second because the information was "incomplete" or "unsubstantiated"? Why didn't the information's incompleteness prevent decisive action by the international community? In fact, his letter was sent only to Chinese media, but Western media got hold of it and publicized it. Why does the world react so differently to the SARS news and the Sujiatun news, both of life-and-death importance? Isn't it because Sujiatun is about other people's lives?

If that is not enough to make us look at the selfish side of our humanity, consider this: if Sujiatun happened anywhere else other than China, whether in democratic countries or in North Korea, Sudan, or Cuba, it would have caused major outcries. Only the human greed for economic gains from China has kept the Sujiatun death camp from being an international issue.

"The wrongs which we seek to condemn and punish have been so calculated, so malignant, and so devastating, that civilization cannot tolerate their being ignored, because it cannot survive their being repeated." Justice Jackson knew the legacy that the Nuremberg trials would leave behind when he drafted his opening speech. If he have lived to see the post-Nuremberg wrongs, he might have been more introspective and lead a trial on human conscience and how it could allow the wrongs to continue to happen.

More information on this place:

The National Traditional Chinese Medicine Thrombus Treatment Center in Shenyang City. According to a former nurse who worked there, the Sujiatun deathcamp is in an underground complex connected to this hospital.
The furnace unit on the southwest side of the hospital. There are two doors leading to the
underground complex of the Sujiatun death camp.

According to the witnesses, the remains of Falun Gong practitioners are incinerated here after their organs are extracted.

Mr. Zuo Zhigang, a 33-year-old, worked at a computer company in Shijiazhuang, Hebei Province. On May 30, 2001, the Shijiazhuang City police and the "610 Office" arrested him. They beat him to death on the same day at the Qiaoxi District Police Station. His corpse was covered with scars. One of his ears was dark purple and there were two large square shaped holes on the back of his torso. There was a mark on his neck showing that a string had been pulled tightly around it.

Mr. Ren Pengwu from Harbin City, Heilongjiang Province. On February 16, 2001, he was arrested by the Hulan County police and thereafter detained in the Hulan County Second Detention Center. Before dawn on February 21, he was killed and all internal organs, from pharynx and larynx to penis, were removed. The authorities hastily cremated his remains afterwards.

At around 3:00 p.m. on May 14, 2002, two policemen arrested Ms. Wang Yunjie because she practiced Falun Gong. In December 2002, after depriving her of sleep for many days, the police tore her shirt open and shocked her breasts with two electric batons for 30 minutes. Then they forced her to stand up for the whole night. They tore some bed sheets, tied her legs in a painful cross-legged position, handcuffed her arms behind her back, and tied her upper body down to her legs and made her looked like a ball. Then they suspended her in the air by the handcuffs for seven hours. The pain was excruciating. Afterward Ms. Wang could no longer straighten her back and could not sit straight. The electric shocks disfigured her breasts and she eventually developed serious infections. When the camp realized she was dying, they ordered her family to pay 2000 Yuan for her release.
Ms. Wang Xia was sentenced to seven years in a forced labor camp. She went on a hunger strike to protest the torture. As a result, the guards force-fed her, leaving the tubes in her esophagus for 7 to 14 days at a time. They tied her to a bed so she could not move, injected her with unknown drugs, and hung her up to beat her. . In July 2004, after so much torture, she weighed only 45 pounds, lapsed in and out of consciousness, showed signs of severe mental disorder, and had lost her memory. She was then released from the camp. Because her case was exposed on overseas websites, she "disappeared" in September 2005.

Mr. Wang Bin, was arrested for appealing to the government was detained at Dongfeng Xinchun Labor Camp. On the night of September 27, 2000, the guards at the labor camp told five prisoners they would receive reduced sentences if they beat him hard enough and they would be punished if they did not. The beating broke Mr. Wang's neck and major blood vessels, his tonsils were injured, his lymph nodes were crushed and several bones were fractured. There were bruises all over his body. He lost consciousness right on the scene. When he was finally taken to Daqing People's Hospital, it was too late to save him. On the night of October 4, 2000, Mr. Wang passed away at age 47. However, two of hospital's doctors took out his hearts and brain. The photo shows that his body had been cut open.

As i take courses in International Business, economic, and world politics we seldom talk about the dark side of governments and their tactics. Lately, the world has been carried away by the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, that we seem to have selectively focused out of events that are happening else where. China should not be an exception, and should not be treated as one either.

We seemed to have erased the rest of the world from our consciousness. And the people highlighted here, are real people too.

The next time I recommend China to my friends, I will also mention Sujiatun.

A link to this article can be found at http://www.consciencefoundation.org/ Many thanks to the Falun Gong Human Rights Working Group (http://www.falunhr.org/) brining this article to the worlds attention.

Please visit their websites for more information

person inside of me - sleepless march

2006-03-28T13:28:00.000+08:00

Dear Friends,

My apologies for not posting for sometime. Have been so tied down with projects that even checking email seems difficult. The documentary that i have been making with a few friends, about refugees in Malaysia, is at near completion. The editing has carried me though many sleepless nights. The cultural paper on the Peranakan community in Malaysia, which i have been writing for some time, needs more research and is nearing its final phase of editing and re-editing. More assignments and projects are due soon, and i am almost falling apart with the load.

Article 11 and the Malaysian Bar council has posted the open letter calling for the reaffirmation of the supremacy of the Federal Constitution online. For those of you who feel that your voice needs to be heard in Malaysian society, please sign the petition here.

The petition is for Malaysian residents. But those of you who are non residents, i encourage you to speak out about the petition to your Malaysian friends.

Erosion: Malaysian constitution

2006-03-19T23:53:00.000+08:00

It took me a while to figure out a simple way to write today’s feature. I have opted for simplicity with the extreme attention towards passing on a very simple message to all Malaysians (and those who may be interested in Malaysian politics) who may be reading this.

Based on the speechs given by by Ms. Ivy Josiah (WAO), Prof. Shad Saleem Faruqi (Law), Dato Dr. Cyrus Das (Law), Mr. Malik Imtiaz Sarwar (Law), Dato Zaid Ibrahim (MP) at the recent public forum organised by "article 11" and the Malaysian Bar Coucil , i draw the following:

1.The federal constitution that was crafted by your forefathers is the most supreme document given to you.

2.The federal constitution of Malaysia says that any rule or policy that is adopted which are in conflict with the principles forwarded in the constitution shall be null and void.

3.The federal constitution makes it clear that Malaysia is NOT an Islamic state as Dr. Mahathir or other politicians may claim or wished it to be. Lets be very clear about this, Malaysia is a secular state, and such a privilege is guaranteed in the federal constitution.

4.The federal constitution assures us that no one race or religion has privilege over the other. Further, it assures that all people will be treated equally with equal privilege given to all

5.The federal constitution does not recognise the word “bumi putra” (translates to ‘sun of the soil’). Such reference is in fact unconstitutional and violates equal treatment of people in the nation. Further, the use of the word “bumi putra” is blatantly raciest. It implies that those not “bumi putra” are less deserving citizens. This is far from reality, as the federal constitution does not permit unequal treatment of people.

It has become clear that Malaysia masses are not aware of their constitutional rights as citizens.

Politicians have inserted confusing terms and policies to blur the understanding of the true implications of the constitution and what it stands for the public.

For example:

The referring to Malaysia as an Islamic state by a former prime minister has made people confused about their rights as Malaysians. It has also given extremist and radical Islamic groups to make use of the this blurred definition. PAS (an Islamic political party) for example has frequntly suggested replacing the supremacy of the Federal Constitution with the supremacy of Sharia.

The denial of justice in the recent Murthi case (reference), is a sign that the Sharia courts and religious groups have been going beyond their capacity. This phenomenon is thanks to the redefinition of Malaysia as a “Islamic” state.

Do not get it wrong, the constitution offers any one and every one, the opportunity to be heard. Denial of such an opportunity is unconstitutional. This is exactly what happened in the Murti case (and may others like it). She was denied justice when the civil courts said that it was upto the Sharia courts to decide, while she was unable to participate in the Sharia courts, as she was not Muslim. This is bad judgement on the part of the judge and a blatant disregard for her constitutional freedom.

The use of the phrase “bumi puthra” is similar. It has blur the public about their sense of worth. As if to say that certain sections of are more valuable than others. Consider this: any advertisement that says “10% discount for bumi putras” is unconstitutional.
What this means is that interested politicians (mind controlling insects) bring in concepts and segment society so that they are better able to rule.

The unconstitutional labelling of Malaysia as Islamic, when the it is clearly said in the constitutional documents that it is secular and the reference to a special “bumi putra” right, is unjust. It is stealing away from you (the common Malaysian) your freedom. It is denying you of your rights.

The next time this happens, remember, you have the right to sue any practice that is unconstitutional.

The public forum that was held in on the 12th of march by the NGO group “article 11” and the Malaysian bar council addressed this issue. Some ways to address this issue was suggested and included the setting up of a “constitutional court”.

following is a letter addressed to the current prime minister of Malaysia from the organisers of the forum. Clearly, it is of utmost importance that all malayaians become aware of this.

To: The Malaysian Government

Reaffirming the supremacy of the Federal Constitution

We, the undersigned, Malaysian men and women from all ethnic and faith backgrounds, are concerned about recent events and statements that undermine the supremacy of the Federal Constitution.

We wish to remind our national leaders that Article 4(1) emphatically declares that the Constitution is the supreme law of the Federation and that the oath of office of all parliamentarians, cabinet ministers and judges is singularly to defend the Constitution.

Further, Article 3(1) of the Federal Constitution states that ‘Islam is the religion of the Federation; but other religions may be practised in peace and harmony in any part of the Federation’. The Federation of Malaya Constitutional Commission, 1956-57 Report, states that this Article ‘shall not imply that the State is not a secular State’. The Supreme Court decision in Che Omar Che Soh (1988) reaffirmed that “the law in this country is still what it is today, secular law”.

Yet, increasingly we hear claims that Malaysia is an Islamic state.

Liberty and justice for all Malaysians may only effectively be realized through an independent judiciary with full powers of review. Sadly, Malaysians have witnessed the abdication of this power by our judges largely due to an ill-conceived amendment to the Constitution in 1988. In recent cases in the High Courts, judges have declined to adjudicate on pressing issues simply because they involved some elements of Islamic law, leaving litigants without any remedy. This is a most unsatisfactory state of affairs and one which no civil society must endure.

We recognise that the spirit of the Constitution encompasses universal values of democracy, good governance and respect for all. This is compatible with the principles of all faiths represented in Malaysia.

We therefore

* call on the government and judiciary to uphold the supremacy of the Federal Constitution;

* call upon the government to ensure governance in accordance with the Federal Constitution and premised on the universal values of all Malaysian peoples;

* call upon the government to reaffirm that Malaysia shall not become a theocratic state;

* call upon the government to recognise the proper position of the judiciary within the Constitutional framework, as an independent and equal arm of Government

Sincerely,

The Undersigned

*Kindly sign on the signature page provided*

Article 11 has this to say:

We are in the process of collecting signatures for our open letter to the Prime
Minister and hope that you are concerned enough to be part of this campaign.

Please find attached the Open Letter and the Signature Form. If you support the call we are making in the Open Letter we would be much obliged if you could download these documents, disseminate them and collect signatures to support this campaign.

Please approach your relatives, friends and any organisations that you might be in contact with to support this campaign.

Every signature collected is valuable and adds on more voice to the call that we are making to the Prime Minister.

Signature forms can be mailed back to us at The Secretariat, P.O. Box 493, Jalan Sultan, 46760 Petaling Jaya, Selangor

i do not have soft links to these documents. Please drop a note to astrorat@gmail.com for one.

Mind control a reality..

2006-03-13T15:21:00.000+08:00

I would like to draw your attention to a horrific fact of life. Ever watched the movie Alien and thought to your self, that scenes of the creature entering into peoples bodies doesn’t really happen? It is after all make belief right? What kind of creature in this world would enter inside your body, control you like a mindless zombie, and then only to hatch from you, using your body for nutrition while you die in agony.

Carl Zimmer has made the following observation about a humble wasp (not referring to white anglo- you get my drift). Its name: Ampulex Compressa. Its victim, not human, but a roach

The following is what Zimmer has to say:

As an adult, Ampulex compressa seems like your normal wasp, buzzing about and mating. But things get weird when it's time for a female to lay an egg. She finds a cockroach to make her egg's host, and proceeds to deliver two precise stings. The first she delivers to the roach's mid-section, causing its front legs buckle. The brief paralysis caused by the first sting gives the wasp the luxury of time to deliver a more precise sting to the head.

The wasp slips her stinger through the roach's exoskeleton and directly into its brain. She apparently uses sensors along the sides of the stinger to guide it through the brain, a bit like a surgeon snaking his way to an appendix with a laparoscope. She continues to probe the roach's brain until she reaches one particular spot that appears to control the escape reflex. She injects a second venom that influences these neurons in such a way that the escape reflex disappears.

From the outside, the effect is surreal. The wasp does not paralyze the cockroach. In fact, the roach is able to lift up its front legs again and walk. But now it cannot move of its own accord. The wasp takes hold of one of the roach's antennae and leads it--in the words of Israeli scientists who study Ampulex--like a dog on a leash.

The zombie roach crawls where its master leads, which turns out to be the wasp's burrow. The roach creeps obediently into the burrow and sits there quietly, while the wasp plugs up the burrow with pebbles. Now the wasp turns to the roach once more and lays an egg on its underside. The roach does not resist. The egg hatches, and the larva chews a hole in the side of the roach. In it goes.

The larva grows inside the roach, devouring the organs of its host, for about eight days. It is then ready to weave itself a cocoon--which it makes within the roach as well. After four more weeks, the wasp grows to an adult. It breaks out of its cocoon, and out of the roach as well. Seeing a full-grown wasp crawl out of a roach suddenly makes those Alien movies look pretty derivative.

I find this wasp fascinating for a lot of reasons. For one thing, it represents an evolutionary transition. Over and over again, free-living organisms have become parasites, adapting to hosts with exquisite precision. If you consider a full-blown parasite, it can be hard to conceive of how it could have evolved from anything else. Ampulex offers some clues, because it exists in between the free-living and parasitic worlds.

Amuplex is not technically a parasite, but something known as an exoparasitoid. In other words, a free-living adult lays an egg outside a host, and then the larva crawls into the host. One could easily imagine the ancestors of Ampulex as wasps that laid their eggs near dead insects--as some species do today. These corpse-feeding ancestors then evolved into wasps that attacked living hosts. Likewise, it's not hard to envision an Ampulex-like wasp evolving into full-blown parasitoids that inject their eggs directly into their hosts, as many species do today.

And then there's the sting. Ampulex does not want to kill cockroaches. It doesn't even want to paralyze them the way spiders and snakes do, since it is too small to drag a big paralyzed roach into its burrow. So instead it just delicately retools the roach's neural network to take away its motivation. Its venom does more than make roaches zombies. It also alters their metabolism, so that their intake of oxygen drops by a third. The Israeli researchers found that they could also drop oxygen consumption in cockroaches by injecting paralyzing drugs or by removing the neurons that the wasps disable with their sting. But they can manage only a crude imitation; the manipulated cockroaches quickly dehydrated and were dead within six days. The wasp venom somehow puts the roaches into suspended animation while keeping them in good health, even as a wasp larva is devouring it from the inside

Scientists don't yet understand how Ampulex manages either of these feats. Part of the reason for their ignorance is the fact that scientists have much left to learn about nervous systems and metabolism. But millions of years of natural selection has allowed Ampulex to reverse engineer its host. We would do well to follow its lead, and gain the wisdom of parasites.

My next article is about a human equivalent of the Ampulex Compressa: the politician. I shall expore this "creature" in the context of a recent seminar that addressed the issues of undermining the federal constitution of Malaysia.

International Womens Day: a Malaysian Story

2006-03-10T10:43:00.000+08:00

Kuala Lumpur: Ms Marina Mahathir, a news paper columnist and ex-president of the Malaysian AIDS Council, is a daughter of Malaysia's former prime minister Mahathir Mohamad.

Being a proactive woman who believes more in action than rhetoric she frequently says “knowing about the risks associated with AIDS was not sufficient to change behaviour in women”.

Women being the main focus of her work, was the topic of her out spoken article written during the last International Women’s day (March 8th, 2006). However, the newspaper that she wrote this article for refused to publish it, citing various reasons. The article is below and it was confirmed by a reliable source as being authentic.
Picture from www.theage.com.au

Marina Mahathir for The Star

In 1948, one of humankind’s most despicable ideas, apartheid, was made into law in South Africa where racial discrimination was institutionalized. Race laws touched every aspect of social life, including a prohibition of marriage between non-whites and whites, and the sanctioning of “white-only” jobs. Although there were 19 million blacks and only 4.5 million whites in South Africa, the majority population were forced to be second-class citizens in their homeland, banished to reserves and needing passports to travel outside them, even within their own country. It was only in 1990 that apartheid began to crumble and South Africans of all colours were finally free to live as equals in every way.

With the end of that racist system, people may be forgiven for thinking that apartheid does not exist anymore. While few countries practice any formal systems of discrimination, nevertheless you can find many forms of discrimination everywhere. In many cases, it is women who are discriminated against. In our country, there is an insidious growing form of apartheid among Malaysian women, that between Muslim and non-Muslim women.

We are unique in that we actively legally discriminate against women who are arguably the majority in this country, Muslim women. Non-Muslim Malaysian women have benefited from more progressive laws over the years while the opposite has happened for Muslim women.

For instance, since the Law Reform (Marriage and Divorce) Act 1976, polygamy among non-Muslims was banned. Previously men could have as many wives as they wanted under customary laws. Men’s ability to unilaterally pronounce divorce on their wives was abolished and in its place, divorce happens by mutual consent or upon petition by either spouse in an equal process where the grounds are intolerable adultery, unreasonable behaviour, desertion of not less than two years, and living separately for not less than two years. Compare that to the lot of Muslim women abandoned but not divorced by their husbands.

Other progressive reforms in the civil family law in the late 1990s were amendments to the Guardianship Act and the Distribution Act. The Guardianship of Infants Act 1961 was amended to provide for equal guardianship for both father and mother, rather than the previous provision where only the father was the primary guardian of the children. In contrast, the Islamic Family Law still provides for the father as the sole primary guardian of his children although the mother is now allowed to sign certain forms for her children under an administrative directive.

The Distribution Act 1958 was also amended to provide for equal inheritance for widows and widowers, and also granted children the right to inherit from their mothers as well as from their fathers. Under the newly proposed amendments to the Islamic Family Law, the use of gender neutral language on the issue of matrimonial property is discriminatory on Muslim women when other provisions in the IFL are not gender-neutral. Muslim men may still contract polygamous marriages, may unilaterally divorce their wives for the most trivial of reasons (including by SMS, unique in the Muslim world) and are entitled to double shares of inheritance.

These differences between the lot of Muslim women and non-Muslim women beg the question: do we have two categories of citizenship in Malaysia, whereby most female citizens have less rights than others? As non-Muslim women catch up with women in the rest of the world, Muslim women here are only going backwards. We should also note that only in Malaysia are Muslim women regressing; in every other Muslim country in the world, women have been gaining rights, not losing them.

In this country, our leaders claim to stand for all citizens. Our Prime Minister is the Prime Minister of all Malaysians, our Ministers work for all Malaysians in their respective fields. There are two exceptions to this. The Minister for Islamic Affairs is obviously only for Muslims; even though some of the things he does affect others. While the Minister for Women purports to work for all Malaysian women, even though not all Malaysian women benefit from that work. Perhaps we should consolidate the apartheid of women in this country by having a Ministry for Non-Muslim Women which works to ensure that Non-Muslim women enjoy the benefits of the Convention for the Elimination of Discrimination against Women, a UN document which Malaysia signed and is legally bound to implement, and a Ministry for Muslim Women which works to gag and bind Muslim women more and more each day for the sake of political expediency under the guise of religion.

Today is International Women’s Day. Unfortunately only about 40% of the women in this country can celebrate. The rest can only look at their Non-Muslim sisters in despair and envy.

Denying the printing of this article is a sad (but true) representation of Womens rights in Malaysia. Perhaps sometimes it is a reflection of a reality that Malaysian face in, more ways than one. The newspaper has managed to silence a voice, and in doing so may have opened up a can of worms in the institutions ways of thinking.

As Irene Fernandez (Human rights worker in Malaysia), in response to this puts it “the struggle is uphill”. I am encouraged to see however, that people are in fact ‘struggling’ to for the cause.

Give peace a chance...

2006-03-05T03:30:00.000+08:00

Violence, aggression, destruction, mistrust, anger, and harm continue to dwell over our need to protect godliness. In the name of God, groups of people continue to instil violence and hatred with no concern for respect to humanity. Radical groups have, in unprecedented rallies around the world, communicated that death shall be upon their ‘enemies’.

Its frustrates me to think how difficult it is to convince people that we seriously need to give peace a chance.

Nicholson of "The Australian" newspaper: www.nicholsoncartoons.com.au

Exams

2006-03-03T20:58:00.000+08:00

Its mid term week. To maintain your sanity during this testing time, read Dr. Deb and effective ways to prevent a burnout!

Here's my contribution to de stress and unwind :D Enjoy!!! ;)

What a bright animal!

Darfur: understanding genocide

2006-03-01T00:44:00.000+08:00

Todays post is dedicated to the understanding of the conflict in Darfur. The world watched and did nothing to respond to her. Darfur has been the center of grave violations of human rights and international laws, including crimes against peace, genocide, war related crimes and crimes against humanity, which has horrified its society and some in the international community. The killings in Darfur were triggered by series of events that is still elusive to most of us. Todays post is dedicated at understanding the root causes of conflict in Darfur.

The conflict in Darfur can be best characterized as an ambiguous set of events that seem not to have an apparent one-solid causal factor. The core of this violence revolves around motives that can be best explained, if you consider that Darfur shares multiple historic, ethnic, political, and social ties with its neighbor states. There is no one centralized cause for racial annihilation and violence have occurred, but rather a gradual mixture of varying agendas and opportunistic alliances (Disarm, n.d.).Darfur is inhabited by a variety of peoples, generally constituting of two distinct groups: non-Arab black peoples such as the Fur, Masalit, and Zaghawa, and Arab tribes collectively termed Baggara (also black by the standards of most non-Africans), who settled the region from about the 13th century onwards (Waal, 2005). Both groups are Muslims, however, relations between the two groups have long been tense; the pre-colonial Fur kingdom regularly clashed with the Baggara, particularly the Rizeigat. Moreover, before the 20th century (and by some accounts well into it) Darfur was a center of the slave trade, and Fur slavers competed with Arab ones to raid the nearby Bahr el Ghazal to obtain slaves for the coastal regions. The two groups also have differing economic needs, which has led to clashes: the Fur and Masalit are primarily sedentary farmers, while the Arabs and Zaghawa are nomadic herdsmen. This paper will describe how their ways of life, access to land and water resources, complex interaction of political tensions and other aspects of their society played a role in creating and escalating the violence (more recently by the Janjaweed militia).

The lead role in rousing conflict in was Darfur was played by the Um Jalul, and its aspiring leaders’ links with Chad, Libya and - more recently - Khartoum (Waal, 2005) The key link in the Um Jalul was Sheikh Hilal Mohamed Abdalla, whose clan’s annual migration pattern took them from the pastures on the edge of the Libyan desert in northern Darfur to the upper reaches of the Salamat river where it crosses from Sudan into Chad. Renowned for their traditionalism, vast herds of camels, and the huge reach in their network, the Um Jalul were a logical intermediary for Libya’s political gunrunners. The clans encounter with the Salamat militia, first social, then commercial and finally military, helped create the Janjawiid (headed by the Sheikh’s younger son Musa Hilal).

Sheikh Acyl’s gift to Darfur included the Arab supremacist ideology (Waal, 2005) which believes that that the descents of the Prophet Mohamed are entitled by birth to rule Muslim lands. Specifically, they believed that the Juhayna Arabs (group that includes both Salamat and Um Jalul) should control the territories from the Nile to Lake Chad. Darfur, which was an independent sultanate until eighty years ago, lies in the centre of this land ‘promised land’. The ideology motivate those who were involved to fight for control, mobilized through a group known as the ‘Arab Alliance’ or ‘Arab Gathering’.

Understanding the violence in Darfur demands an understanding of this complex local histories, whose roots run deep. However, to simplify the our understanding the situation in Darfur, the conflict is best described as that mainly between the Janjaweed (the government-supported militia recruited from local Arab tribes) and the non-Arab peoples of the region.As a result of the ensued conflict there began a large influx of displaced non-arab black Africans, fleeing from Janjaweed. The resulting conflict and violence been widely described as an "ethnic cleansing", and frequently as "genocide" (Seattlepi, 2005). The United Nations estimates that 50,000 have died in the 18 months of the conflict since its start, while more than one-million people had been displaced from their homes (Seattlepi, 2005)

The government of Sudan has had a strongly Arab character since the country's independence in 1956 and has been a military dictatorship since 1958. The First Sudanese Civil War, between the Muslim government and the mostly non-Muslim population of the southern Sudan, started in 1955 and ended with the 1972 Addis Ababa Accords (Austin & Koppelman, 2004). In 1983, the second Sudanese civil war broke out when the president declared Shari’a law in the south. A ceasefire was eventually declared in 2002. Peace conferences in 2003 produced an agreement under which state revenues from, oil money in particular, would be shared between the government and the southern rebel groups.

The agreement however, did not satisfy Darfur campaigners' demands for a fair deal. Two local rebel groups - the Justice and Equality Movement (JEM) and the Sudan Liberation Movement (SLM) - accused the government of oppressing non-Arabs in favor of Arabs. The SLM is generally associated with the Fur and Masalit, while the JEM is associated with the Zaghawa of the northern half of Darfur (Seatlepi, 2005).

Runaway militant groups cause conflict escalation:
In 2004, Chad brokered negotiations in N'Djamena (Austin & Koppelman, 2004), leading to the April 8 Humanitarian Ceasefire Agreement between the Sudanese government and JEM and SLA. Due to a conflict in values within the militant groups, a group splintered from the JEM in April - the National Movement for Reform and Development - that did not participate in the April cease-fire talks or agreement. This run away group played, and others like it (Janjaweed and other rebels), played a role in escalating the conflict in Darfur.

Social and ethnic composition as a cause of conflict:
The Darfur region consist of three ethnic zones: the North (includes Arab and non-Arab people, mainly camel nomads – Zaghawa); The central area (largely inhabited by non-Arab farmers such as the Fur and Massalit, who cultivate millet); and the south (Arabic-speaking cattle nomads, the Baggara). However, as mentioned earlier, they are all Muslim. However, the people of Darfur, like other Sudanese, have always identified themselves in ethno-cultural or tribal terms. Further, the people have only recently been perceived as Arab or African. It is suggested that conflict in this region, is largely in response to political and ideological disputes between the groups. The differences are largely due to the difference in the relationships that each holds. However, it has been argued that the cause of the difference in relationships has been due to real differences between the groups, such as repression or financial underdevelopment of the nations secondary regions.

Looking back at history, the region has been inhabited for centuries by both Arab and non-Arab ethnic groups. The Fur, which is the oldest non-Arab group, make up approximately 36 percent of the total population. Arabic, is more likely a second language rather than the primary language at home and the skilled use of Arabic is representative of higher social position (Suliman, 1997). For example, Idris (1999), from the Sudan tribune, asserts that in spite of the extensive social and economic dealings between members of these tribes, it would be difficult to assert that there has developed any “real assimilation” within tribe members (Cited in Sulaiman, 1997). Most of them maintain original languages, customs and traditions. This fact would suggest that the cause of conflict was probably due to ethnic differences.

However, it not logical to remove real differences in resources as a causal factor for conflict. Some of the other reasons are discussed below.

A family of seven sleeps in this makeshift shelter in the Dorti encampment in West Darfur.
©UNHCR/K.McKinsey (July 2004)

Denying or limiting access to natural and social resources as a source of conflict:
Access to natural and social resources such as justice, fairness, equitable sharing of natural resources (e.g. oil), equal development of people from Darfur, equal opportunity to employment, and equal opportunity to do business are examples of some the primary reasons for concern for the peoples of Darfur.

Abuse of natural resources:
Use of environmental resources increased in large proportions by the unprecedented extraction of these resources (DPADO, 2004). This was carried out by members of the northern Sudanese traditional merchant class, (Jellaba), motivated by their inclusion into the world market as miners of these resources (DPADO, 2004). In addition, loan conditions imposed by the World Bank and the IMF resulted in the restructuring of Sudan’s resource utilization towards Darfur (DPADO, 2004). As a result, needs of the people of Darfur was ignored while market needs were satisfied. The condition was made worse by Sudan’s decline in the international market, hence destroying the fragile (if not weak) support system that the government may have hoped to provide to the people of Darfur.

Environmental issues:
In the most remote regions of Sudan such as Darfur, human and animal life depends on the delicate balance between soil, climate, water and vegetation. Since the mid-1970s this equilibrium has been upset, particularly in the vast dry and semi-dry areas of the northern half of the country (University of Khartoum, 2004). In addition to the consistent drought, unsustainable methods of land use (e.g. large-scale rain-fed farming and overgrazing in marginal lands) destroyed the environment in which 70 percent of the population live. Millions of people were forced to migrate and became homeless. So many in fact that the Sudan has the highest proportion of internally displaced people in the world, one in every six. The movement of internally displaced people would result in a set of problems of its own and shall be discussed next.

Problems with migration – security and migration patterns:
In the past, those in distress simply moved to a richer environment nearby. However, this exodus is no more an option due to factors such as an expanding population, large-scale farming, political tensions, and constant ethnic-tensions (Waal, 2005; Suliman, 1997). As the governments’ control of law and order in remote areas decreased people were increasingly motivating to abandon their homes and move to urban city centers where safety and security is relatively better. Further, moving to urban city centers, would also mean, better economic prospects, better shelter, and easy availability of food.

The movement from one drought ridden area to another, which is already occupied by a different ethnic group, is a recipe hostility, and Sudan was no exception. In the past, agreements used to be reached when the need for sharing land was occasional, but now with the need for land becoming more longer in nature (or even for permanent sharing), the strains on ethnic agreement become much greater. These difficulties are particularly prevalent in the South and in the drought-stricken areas of Darfur and Kordofan.

The oil:
Sudan is projected to have nearly 2000-million barrels of crude oil. The governments plan to process the oil for export caused the people in the South (where most of the oil is from) to become suspicious of the governments intentions. The Sudanese People Liberation Army, SPLA, attacked the oil field operations, forcing the oil industry to halt productions (The Epoch Times, 2004). Since then regardless of the pressure subsequent governments had, oil operations in the south-west have been halted. Oil is an expensive commodity that has been fought upon.

The water:
Since the beginning of the century, the idea of constructing a canal to drain the Sudd marshes of the White Nile at Jonglei was debated by developmentalists and environmentalists ICRC (2005). However, an assessment of how the local people, (some 1,700,000 Dinka, Shilluk and Nuer), would be directly and indirectly affected by the project, was ignored by the government.

The Dinka, Shilluk, and Nue feared the drastic changes the canal would interfere with their way of life. They could not accept the prospect of life without migration to the marshes during the dry season, where they would live on fish and other natural resources as a means to survive. Further, they feared the possibility of alien people being settled in their lands, and the eventual possibility of conflict. There was mistrust of the project from the southerners who saw the Northern states and Egypt benefiting while their own lives were irreversibly changed for the worse. By drying out the swamps and taking away the source of survival, the canal would open up the entire Sudd area for farming, the domain of the Jellaba, and also allow the north to move military equipment and troops into the South with greater ease.

The land:
Predictable rain patterns make the savannah plains suitable for the cultivation of sorghum, millet, maize, sesame, groundnuts, and cotton ICRC (2005). This makes the fertile land a source of lively hood for its inhabitants. However, the expansion of large-scale farming, which constantly devours new land, spread into southern Kordofan and the northern parts of Upper Nile Province. The problem however is that, the owners of the farms were the Jellaba merchants. After, exhausting vast areas in the North, they pushed southwards where the Nilotic tribes survived on the cattle market. The Jellaba knew that the draining of the Jonglei canal would open a huge areas for large-scale farming. The military looked forward to the drying of the swamps as well, so that it would be able to have easier access to the south.

Changes in the way of conflict engagement as a cause for conflict:
In the past, problems arising from land and water disputes were resolved at an annual conference of Nuba Mekks and Arab Sheikhs (Waal, 2005; Suliman, 1997). These meetings usually took place on neutral ground, both sides abided by the agreements reached and the Nuba Mountains enjoyed decades of peace and relative prosperity. In recent years, however, the drought has pushed the Arab nomads deep into Nuba territory, sometimes even before the harvest is collected. This has resulted in clashes between Nuba farmers and Arab nomads. On the other hand, more land fell into the hands of absentee landlords, mainly Arab Jellaba. Out of 200 farms supported by the State Agricultural Bank 191were leased to Jellaba landlords, (Jellaba land lords consisted mainly of the rich Jellaba, government officials and retired generals from the North - Suleiman, 1997).

The effect of the advance of the nomads into the mountains on the one hand, and the advance of farming on the other, signaled the Nuba people to the possibility of being squeezed out of their best farming lands into marginal and poor territory. That is why, when the civil war broke out in the South in 1983. as a result, the people have learnt that conflict resolution occurs though the use of force rather than dialogue. The move away from what used to be a cultural practice of dialogue, to a new form of defense, has contributed immensely to the escalation of conflict in Sudan.

The war in southern Sudan:
The return of civil war to the Sudan in 1983 was regarded as a typical ethnic and religious conflict between northern Muslim Arabs and Southern black Africans. Though this categorization was true for the Sudan's first civil war ICRC (2005), ecological degradation over the past three decades (as mentioned above), added a new dimension to the old conflict. It transformed the nature of the conflict from an ethnic strife to a resource struggle triggered by ecological scarcity (Waal, 2005; Suliman, 1998). The quest for land, water and oil in the South to replenish the already degraded northern resource-base has driven some Jellaba and their state to wage war against their own people. The end product of the return of civil was the escalation of conflict to higher levels.

In summery it is important to note that the conflict in Darfur is best described as due to a host of reasons entwined to form a complex mesh that is best understood as a whole. This historical roots and relationships that the region shares with each other is one of the modes of viewing the conflict. Value differences are seen when considering the clash of ideologies between the Muslim and non-Muslim peoples in Darfur. The relationships that preexisted between clans and those that were formed during the course of the conflict provide another angle to the conflict. The moods that were involved largely revolved around those of the people experiencing famine due to the drought, people who felt it unfair that they were treated differently, and among people who were abused. However, it is important to note, that these components did not act in unison. They were expressed as a mixture and experienced under a socio-political and geographic structure that tied them together.

References
Austin, G., & Koppelman, B. (2004, July). Darfur and genocide: mechanisms for rapid response, an end to impunity. The foreign policy center. Retrieved October 1st, 2005, from www.fpc.org.uk

Disarm (n.d). Civil war in Darfur. Retrieved October 1st, 2005 from http://disarm.igc.org/newsudanbackground.htm

DPADO (2004, December). Inside darfur: ethnic genocide by a governance crisis. Retrieved October 1st, 2005 from http://www.darfurpeaceanddevelopment.org/ genocide3.htm

ICRC ( 2005, August). West darfur: where water can blunt the causes of conflict. Retrieved 15th August, 2005 from http://www.icrc.org/Web/Eng/siteeng0.nsf/html/ sudan-darfur-water-100805?OpenDocument

Idris, S. E. (1999, July). The history of darfur. Sudanese human rights quarterly 8, 11. Retrieved October 1st, 2005. in Suliman, M. (1997). Ethnicity from perception to cause of violent conflicts: the case of the fur and nuba conflicts in western sudan. A Contribution to: CONTICI International Workshop. Retrieved October 1st, 2005 from www.ifaanet.org

Seattlepi, (2005, August). Darfur: worst humanitarian crisis. Retrieved October 1st, 2005 from http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/opinion/187691_darfur25.html

Suliman, M. (1997). Ethnicity from perception to cause of violent conflicts: the case of the fur and nuba conflicts in western sudan. A Contribution to: CONTICI International Workshop. Retrieved October 1st, 2005 from www.ifaanet.org

The Epoch Times (2004, December). Rebels attack darfur oil facility, libyans mediate in abuja. Retrieved October 15th, 2005 from http://english.epochtimes.com/news/ 4-12-20/25114.html

University of Khartoum, (2004, July). Environmental degradation and conflict in darfur. Retrieved on October 1st, 2005 from http://www.uofk.edu/workshop/overview.htm

Waal, A. (2005). Review of gerard prunier, darfur: the ambiguous genocide, hurst and co. social science research council / contemporary conflict. Retrieved October 1st, 2005 from
http://conconflicts.ssrc.org/hornofafrica/ambiguous_genocide/pf/

4 walls

2006-02-21T12:13:00.000+08:00

I felt threatened and trapped encompassed and swallowed by the four walls that were around me. The room getting smaller each minute, the space I call my own is leaving me. At a fleeting moment I try to muster courage and look into a past trying to look how far the roads taken me. These four walls trap memories of a past refusing to let go of the images that were real not so far away. How ironic, I have run away and travelled a distance, to get away from this very cage. The cage refuses to yield, and encloses me.

To be unique, to conquer the world, to understand truth, to see reality I choose and sometimes paid the price of my freedom and dignity.

I stand here within these four walls, unsure of tomorrow. Unsure, if tomorrow is what I have dreamt it would be.

Unsure of love, a word that seemed to have alluded somewhere in life, and left as quietly as it came. Unsure if these four walls, like the rain that it protects me from, like the harsh world that it keeps on the other side, has denied to me, that elusive word.

Searching

2006-02-20T00:40:00.000+08:00

A nameless soul with a million things on his mind.

Perhaps like most of us, he's thinking about tomorrow. Perhaps he is not. But most importantly, life around him does not seem to stop regardless of his need for a moment.

picture taken at the Pudu market on February 14th 2006, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

Cartoons + Religion = Barbarism

2006-02-16T13:59:00.000+08:00

In comparison with the small group of extremist hypersensitive Muslims who behave like wild animals in the streets of the world because of twelve innocent drawings, most Muslims in South East Asia (e.g. Malaysia, Singapore, and China) have shown the world that hope still exists even though groups of extremist hooligans continue to misconstrue Islam.

Assuming that the situation will continue to develop in the same direction, we see that this fiasco of the ‘cartoon’ war has left moderate people divided. Many of our friends (white, black, brown, yellow, and the occasional green) seem to be rather scared - and frankly, I fully understand why. You can read an explanation why everyone who has insulted Islam must be executed. It's a scary reading.The ‘cartoon war’ has lead to the clash of our civilizations. Those in the west are convinced that our citizens are free to believe or not to believe a particular religion. They assume that the head of state does not have the right to ‘control’ a journalist/cartoonist/undertaker as long as they do not violate moral principles of beneficence. The core of the American constitution for example, guarantees this right to its citizens.

There is however another part of the world that believes the government has the responsibility to punish those who carry out acts deemed ‘unfitting’ of become its citizenship. One such ‘unfitting’ behaviour would lie in the behaviour that does not engage in the glorification of God. Hence, any one who dare visualize God in any context other than that fits a certain narrow ideology, would be justly, and should be (as islamicawakening.com puts it) executed.

How would one really win a cartoon war?

For those in the West, victory come though the reinforcement of freedom of speech. To people in the west, it means that anyone can draw a picture even though there are others who may find it offensive. And if you do find such work offensive, then it is a problem that needs to be addressed by the judicial system. But, for those precious few, who live about 10,000 miles away from the west, and have no idea what the western side of the world even looks like, the solution lies in firing that weapon, and waging war at the perpetrator. ‘Kill those who insult you’ is essentially what echo’s in their ears. We have come to such an era, where care needs to be taken before we even draw a caricature.

A new era defining ‘autonomy’ (or the lack thereof) will raise if the West loses this ‘cartoon war’. For the few Islamic extremists, losing this war would mean something catastrophic: namely that the people who live in the West will then be allowed continuously ridicule their ‘faith’ (rather their interpretation of ‘faith’). For the these few who propagate war, it would be a great sense of loss in their dignity.

What extremists are doing to Islam is proving to the world, time and again, that Islam is unable to effectively lead in a modern world. We often say how the different religions are equally good. Though this is politically correct, we need to take a step back and understand that reality, is something else.
Controlling human kind with the kind of barbaric justice that is called upon by the site that I mentioned is an unforgivable and evil manifestation of bigotry. It is an attempt that ridicules and halts the progress of human society. Why do nations in the world silently tolerate, what is best described as, medieval laws violating the basic freedom for individuality? Similarly, is the punishment for blasphemy death?

It is amazing that someone would be jailed or executed because of a joke. Why are laws protecting God, when the Abrahamic God(s), made it clear that mans primary duty was to protect other mankind. The Abrahamic holy scriptures, be it Judaism, Christianity, Islam, or Bahai preach compassion and love. Why then do civilizations clash in the name of a religion that is meant to profess love? Human kind has moved backward, by allowing fanatic, heretic, bigotry, fundamentalist, extremist, dogmatic, hypercritic, chauvinist, radical, and terrorist religious preacher roam our world.

I believe that one needs to question religious order and doctrine in order to move human society forward. Where is our civilization heading? It is easy to see that not much intellectual progress has occurred in regions of the world where religious doctrine has dictated the sovereign freedom of its men and women. Has our civilization not come far enough to learn that each of us have to contribute to its growth, in every way possible. Curbing this growth via restrictions, sanctions, laws, fins, closures, punishments, death threats, does not in any way, move society forward.

Where is our civilization heading?

We are continuously learning and identifying our past as a mere episode in our evolution towards more sophisticated and modern forms of our culture and towards a more complete form. How do the major religions in the world support our evolution? Wars in the ‘name of religion’ have done its best, to hamper human growth rather than nurture it.

Newspapers in Asia wrote that Freedom of speech has its limits when it concerns others...

I agree, not so that the cartoon war can be decided, but because the world desperately need to curtail the freedom those of us who misrepresent the true sprit of the great religions in the world. In the words of Barbra J. Stock: “The world is watching… the handful of terrorists who have high-jacked a peaceful religion (Islam) … doesn’t pass the ‘laugh test’ any longer”. And i end with the words of Martin Luther King: "Violence as a way of achieving racial justice is both impractical and immoral. It is impractical because it is a descending spiral ending in destruction for all. It is immoral because it seeks to humiliate the opponent rather than win his understanding; it seeks to annihilate rather than to convert. Violence is immoral because it thrives on hatred rather than love." Violence in the name of religion is wicked.

Dedicated to you...

2006-02-14T00:38:00.000+08:00

If thou must love me, let it be for nought

a sonnet XIV by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

If thou must love me, let it be for nought
Except for love's sake only. Do not say
"I love her for her smile her look her way
Of speaking gently, for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of ease on such a day"
For these things in themselves, Beloved, may
Be changed, or change for thee, and love, so wrought,
May be unwrought so. Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheek dry,
A creature might forget to weep, who bore
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!
But love me for love's sake, that evermore
Thou may'st love on, through love's eternity.

Going beyond ECT for Depression

2006-02-10T22:52:00.000+08:00

I was introduced to the scary side of electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), in Matha Mannings book, ‘undercurrents’. This book, was about a therapists' own reckoning in dealing with depression and described line by line, day by day, the horror of being administered the electric shocks, to finally realise that the storm clouds still linger in the background.

As a first year undergrad student, I remember thinking to myself, about how easy it must be to treat depression and to cure its symptoms with a quick pill. And then, during my second and third years I was frightened out of my socks about the realities of certain types of depression and the brutality of its management though Mannings autobiography. ECT did not go down as a personal favourite.

And now, sitting on the boundary knocking on the iron gates of graduate school, while surfing more blogs than reading, I found the most interesting piece of information about the management of resistant depression from Debs blog (do read her blog for very interesting thoughts and discussions on issues in psychology).

Deb says:

The Vagus Nerve Stimulator (VNS) is not related to brain surgery, although it is a treatment that affects the function of the brain. VNS uses specific stimulation of the vagus nerve to send stimulation to specific parts of the brain that are involved in mood. It is not like Electro-Convulsive Therapy (ECT), a treatment that involves stimulation of the entire brain, results in short term memory loss and sometimes pain. Patients who have used VNS do not feel the stimulation from the stimulator since the vagus nerve does not have the type of nerves that carry pain signals. Nor does VNS interfere with memory loss. Patients having Vagus Nerve Stimulation can continue taking their other medications without worrying about side effects or interactions as well.

The Vagus Nerve Stimulator is a small device implanted under the skin near the collarbone. A wire under the skin connects the device to the vagus nerve in the neck. A physician programs the device to produce weak electrical signals that travel along the vagus nerve to the brain at regular intervals. These intervals ease the symptoms of depression. Five months after it was approved for sale, The VNS treatment for chronic, unresponsive or "resistant depression" is winning favor in the medical and psychological community.

Interestingly this “technique” has been recommended as a treatment for photosensitive epilepsy and epilepsy resulting from head injury (read http://library.thinkquest.org for a discussion about epilepsy and http://www.rch.org.au for a detailed description of the procedure). The procedure itself (as practiced by neurologists) involves the implanting of a devise (about the size of a tape measure) in the upper left area of the chest, by a neurosurgeon under general anaesthesia. A connecting ‘wire’ facilitates the connection of the device to the vagus nerve via three small leads. The whole process takes about 2 hours.

The generator which is programmed to stimulate the nerve at regular intervals. The frequency of the intervals are adjustable via a computer by the physician. If a seizure begins between intervals, the patient activates the stimulator by swiping a magnet over their chest at the location where the device is implanted.

According to neurologychannel.com risks include possible “surgical injury to the vagus nerve, carotid artery, and internal jugular vein”. Further, other side effects such as “coughing, hoarseness, and swallowing difficulties” could result from injury to the vagus nerve. Neurologychannel.com also reports infection, bleeding, and discomfort at the site.

On the brighter side, nearly 50% of the patients had a reduction of seizure frequency or had a less sever onset of seizures. However, some studies did not report any improvement.
But, this procedure may also provide a more humane way to treat chronic or recurrent depression. According to vnstherapy.com this process is a “safe, effective treatment with efficacy that improves over time”. Interestingly Neu, Heuser, Bajbouj (2005) reports VNS does not have an influence on cerebral blood flow velocity in depressive patients. Doraisawamy, et al. (1999) outlined that cerebral hypoperfusion (decreased blood flow through an organ) may explain depression in elderly cardiac patients.

I still cant seem to find out the exact mechanism behind how VNS helps manage depression. Perhaps this may mean that the “scientific” community is still divided on their opinions about the how good VNS is. This may not necessarily be a bad thing. I feel that its truly wonderful to have such giant leaps in mental health care. As I sit by the door steps of graduate school, the peep inside the great iron gates, reveal to me that there is great progress being made. I cant wait to start practice. Mental health has come a long way from its, brutal origins.

Any takers for VNS?

References:

Neu, P., Heuser, I., & Bajbouj, M. (2005). Cerebral blood flow during vagus nerve stimulation: a transitional doppler study. Neuropsychobiology, 51, 265-268.

Doraiswamy, P. M., MacFall, J., Krishnan, K. R. R., O’Connor, C., Wan, X., Benaur, M., Lewandowski, M., Fortner, M. (1999). Magnetic resonance assessment of cerebral perfusion in depressed cardiac patients. American Journal of Psychiatry, 156, 1641-1644.

Google in China!

2006-02-04T14:22:00.000+08:00

The news media had been reporting for a while about Google’s entry into

China

and its efforts to ‘tailor’ its search engine to suit the needs of the Chinese people. (when I say “Chinese”, I refer to people from and are living in China, and not those of you who look oriental and are from other parts of the world for the ‘others’ such as those in Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia, etc are not ‘Chinese’ in its truest sense).

Among those effected by this new mechanism of ‘tailor made search’ is Google’s own image search. Here is an interesting comparison that I picked up from the anti-censorship communities on the internet. Try searching for the word “Tiananmen” from both the American and Chinese Google image search sites

.

China

Search: http://images.google.cn/images?q=tiananmen

US Search: http://images.google.com/images?q=tiananmen

i have screen shots of the two site for those of you who cant access these sites. The first ones from the Chinese site, while the seconds from the US website.

Is this good censorship?

I recommend that you read Rebecca MacKinnon for a much more in-depth story and more links to this story.

Beauty...

2006-02-02T01:39:00.000+08:00

Japanese women are the epitome of feminine beauty.

Meet Koyuki! The love of my life! ;)

Now, she should have been better at playing the lead role in the movie, "Memoirs of a Geisha"

Past 4…

2006-02-01T00:23:00.000+08:00

Gong xi fa cai to all my Chinese friends (and also to those of you who are not really Chinese, but are Chinese at heart or have some affinity towards the Oriental culture).

Remember *k, a frequent visitor to this page? Well she asked last week “if I could go back and relive the last 4 years, what would you do differently, if anything, and why?” from the top of my head, I commented that I would not change anything.

Over the last few days, I had a unique opportunity to talk to a very special person (it was more in desperation than anything else). I had long a serious chats for nearly 19 hours each day, and was able to come to some amazing insight though these conversations.

Who is this lovely person who was kind enough to chat with me and understand (at least tried to) my every thought? Why, it was non other than my-self. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I had chats with me. (before those of you who are clinicians, graduating from clinical school, psychiatrists, or mental health specialists start scheduling appointments with me, please read on, I don’t talk to me too much any more)

Well, to provide you with a background of the context of my conversations with this superb (so I think) conversationalist, it all started with a recent experience while working part-time at a mall. It’s the term break now, and I needed the money, so took up the opportunity to work. Well, it turned out that I had to spend about 19 hours of isolation (about 14 was spent working, and the rest travelling). And during those 19 hours, me and my self, had some of best mind blowing conversations you can ever imagine.

So what did me and myself talk about?

A friend told me (when i told her that I was talking to me to keep me company) that it was a good thing that I was able to “entertain myself”! (though that may sound bad to the perverted ear - I know who you are!), self-entertainment/self-talk/(insert fancy word that you want here), truly did do more than just ‘entertainment’. It gave me an opportunity to gel together some of the worst and best experiences in life, to help form a kinda of story board of the two of us.

Self talk can be a very powerful source of awareness (I am sorry, but I have not done much research on this, I perhaps am quoting my counselling techniques lecturer). And like a half-assed replica of Freud, there I was, trying to make meaning of the conversations.

It was really hard to think of two things simultaneously (one about the thought and the other, the reflection on that thought). I have here, some of those thoughts to share with you. I am hoping, that somewhere within my commentary, you will try to see, what it may be like be unable to truly connect with people, or to cut off from society (think autistic spectrum disorders). I hope this insight will answer both *k, and provide insight to those who want it.

To answer *K’s question more broadly, is there any thing about the past 4 years that I would change?: No. And the reasons why, well.. read on, perhaps you will understand.
Silence, is scary. It provokes thoughts that I had hidden within me for more than 10 years. It brought out elements that I hope would die somewhere in the depths of my memory. Silence, brought out experiences that I had wished I forget.

While at the mall (even though there was this annoying music that kept repeating during the whole time), I realised that I spoke with my self, because I was totally uncomfortable with silence. I was getting overly anxious, and could not stand that idea of not connecting. Before I start sounding too idealistic, I want to express how deep this realization was. I enjoy long walks by forests, rivers, beaches, etc. I like solitude. But, this was different. I realised that too much solitude, conjured up such a mass of memories, that I had to talk them though.

One such memory relates to the realization in the risk that I took while switching careers from IT (I used to be a network administrator/software engineer) to psychology. I wondered if the risk that I had taken while leaping though darkness of blind faith in myself, and taking an attitude of “lets see what happens” is finally catching up to me. Four years ago, when I got into that plane from Colombo International Airport, I tried to play hide n seek with the ‘devil’, and hoped that I could hide and it would never be able to seek me. I was lucky for it wasn’t able to. And as months turned into years, the ‘devil’ got smarter.

I used the phrase ‘devil’ not cause it represents some sort of resident evil force chasing me, but to represent a state of “trouble”. I remember reading the book “Gulliver’s travels - the book about the travels of a giant”, and this phrase “my troubles began, always stuck to my mind. The author of the book, used it as his first sentence to introduce the giant to strange world of little people. Just like the author, I would like to say, that my troubles began, but I had always evaded them… until, it caught up with me. The ‘devils’ finally getting smarter.

The four years of hiding, had thought me many lessons. Some of them I learnt the hard way r experience. Some I learnt by observing. Some were learn by asking others. But, the fact remains, that I am still far from knowing any thing.

(note to the reader. This blog is going to be abstract on purpose. Please don’t continue reading if its giving you a headache. I am writing it, to get rid of one.)

No matter how much I ran and ran and ran and ran from the devil, it always knew where to find me. It knew exactly where i was to be found. And this was when I realised, that running away, hiding, and evading doesn’t really help. I learnt that, there is a need for me to stop, look and react and deal with the ‘storms that a blowing’.

So… *k, do you think that I would change anything from the past 4 years? As you can see, these four years have provided me insight into my own life. To take it away, and to reset this time frame, would be erasing that realization. Even though this blog, is about just a small fragment of that realization, I want the reader to realise that, the four years are mine and that I will have it no other way, than the way it is.

My thought wonder about those of us who are forced to live in solitude. Do they have similar realization about life? About its meaning? I joke with some of my friends and ask ‘tell me joe, about your existential meaning in life and how you are guided towards self actualization?”. For starters, that quote has loads of words which I neither know the definition of, nor really understand. However, when you look deeper, perhaps I do. Perhaps I some how understand what it means to be lonely. Perhaps I now understand what it means to “face the devil”. Perhaps I now know what it means to live more ‘fully’. Perhaps I know now, that events them selves don’t create much meaning in life, compared to our search for ways to explain them. Perhaps I now am better able to deal with loneliness. Perhaps I now know what isolation means.

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. But, let me say it again. I am pretty sure, that I shall not have life any other way!...

This is my 50th post!

2006-01-26T21:12:00.000+08:00

I would like to take this opportunity to thank all my friends who made writing a truly magnificent experience. Your comments, emails, suggestions, reviews, scolding, visits, ideas, and inspiration is truly both treasured and appreciated.

Thank you all :)

“Memoirs of a Geisha” by Rob Marshall (the movie) seems intresting. I was introduced to the Geisha culture by my many Japanese friends who are now in every part of the world except, Japan! I read the book (same title) and was delighted by the insight.

But, I cant figure out why on earth is a Chinese actress playing the lead role of a Japanese!?!?!

I kid you not! It gets better, the lead actress Michelle Yeoh (oh.. how I had a huge crush on her when I was 20) is Malaysian!

I am happy that the rest of the cast comprised of a significant (no I have not done the stats on this one) number of “real” Japanese. But I find, it an insult to the “Geisha” and their culture, that the roles be played by anyone other than them! Hollywood demands I guess…

Oh well… should I watch the movie?

Do you believe in angels?

2006-01-21T12:01:00.000+08:00

Ok, today’s post is different and has nothing to do with psychology. Perhaps it does, perhaps it doesn’t… it has to do with a life changing experience, that came upon me.

While typing this post, there was the music of Mariah Carey, there can be miracles when you believe, playing on the stereo, as a background. I am smiling because, everyone knows that I am atheist/agnostic (somewhere in between), and I have no way to justify, reasons for writing this long winded post on miracles. More specifically, about those responsible for making other peoples miracles work.

I would like to call the kind of people, who appear almost out of the blues, and makes the private unachievable dreams of other people a reality, an angel. The picture I choose to head this post, just like all other pictures, is from the internet. However, I would like to bring to attention that, this picture does not have a “religious” form. It is selfless, just like the people/person I would like to talk about. It is form less. The picture that I selected brightens up the text below it, just like the angels I am trying so hard to talk about.

I was looking at the lyrics of the song “in the arms of an angel” by Sarah Mclachlan and found the following line:

“Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it ok
There's always some reason to feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
They may be empty and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight?"

And then, I am suddenly stuck for words to describe the immense personal nature of my realization, that angels don’t come from heaven. They are among us. They do not have wings, they do not pray to god for guidance (perhaps they do, but I don’t know). They don’t go about each day saying, I will save the world. They do not look different (perhaps they do). They are simply other people, who appear one day, and make miracles in your own life, possible.

In the movie the city of angels, “Maggie Rich” did not believe in angels (neither do I, at least not the kind with wings), but then, she fell in love with one (the movie tells us that this kind of angel comes from a mystical land that’s beyond my comprehension). But more importantly, the love that’s represented in the movie, demonstrates the self-less love that the people I describe, so frequently have. The genuine caring and loving nature of the people I call, an angel.

Some of you who know me personally may wonder why have I gone so soft in the middle (suddenly), and am describing to you concepts of love, angels, and miracles. Words that are not somehow not typically associated with me nor is synonymous with the ‘core’ of me. But, when you encounter and cross the path of a beautiful human being, who suddenly changes the next decade of your life, you do go soft in the middle.

No words can express the way if feel today. It’s a mixture of elated happiness, and an euphorically joyous mood. You could say that I am in “seventh heaven”. Perhaps the angels have taken me home? (if that makes sense to you). I could not really describe to you the over joyous state I am in. not right now any way. Perhaps as time passes by, I could make more sense of this experience and write better. But for now, making you understand does not matter to me. At this very moment, I continue to live.

To the angel who makes life truly beautiful (you are going to think I am a bit corny, but that’s cool). thank you… I love you for the beautiful person that you are…

The passing of “V”

2006-01-18T00:55:00.000+08:00

Rumour has it (and you will realise later that I am no fan of rumour) that Spring 2006 mark the last days of the dictatorship of the evil V! for those of you who do not belong to my campus, let me shield you from the bliss and safety of not knowing! But, for those of you who have been rumouring about it, rumour no more. A staff member who is closely associated to the department of the land of the free, confirmed this “news” article!

In memory of this great person, I spoke to 2 senior students who have seen both the good side and bad side of this lady. This is what they had to say.

Moses (not real name): “She was a fine specimen”. “I hated her guts as much as she hated mine”. “She’s utterly rude, and disrespectful of me and other students”. “She has never cared about me as a person”. “I am happy that she’s leaving and will not miss her”.

On asking Moses who he reckons will be the next “king/queen” of the department he said: “I don’t really care.” “Any one or anything is better than her. I want to throw a party.”

Jerramy had this to say: “She was a steady leader and held the department together. While she could have come across to the student body with better ‘poise’” (what ever that means to him). “she made sure that justice was served and no one was favoured.” “though many had a bone to pick with her, she was classic in her own right and deserves due respect”. “I am sad to hear these rumours and will be equally sad if it comes true."

Well ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. Its perhaps the story of the century (at least in my department!). Staff members did not want to be quoted, but assured me (not that I asked for it) that an departure is guaranteed.

In spite of her dynamic duality, this lady deserves much respect. Guiding a department from its early days of 50+ students and a handful of lecturers to what it is now, a department that holds under its wings the centre for psychology, with a vibrant student population of over 900!

Yes yes, there are short comings… and I don’t deny that… however, one needs to look at the bigger picture and take into perspective that positive change occurred under her guidance.

The question to ask your selves is what does the next “great leader” of the department have in store for its beneficiaries? Will things become the way we want it to, just cause she is gone now? Or are we set to make the biggest self sacrifice ever? Are we setting the stage to drop existing standards of practice into darker deeper regions? What does her leaving holds for the students? How do we benefit or loose?

Perhaps the answers to these questions will not be known for a while. I bet, that many will speculate and many will prophesise. Are we on the verge of an impending collapse?

Long live the Queen!

Ahead of me...

2006-01-15T22:43:00.000+08:00

Spring 06 has begun and its been rolling about a week. Its my final semester at Upper Iowa. What happens next is what I have been dreaming about for the past 4 years, graduation! I cant bring my self to adequately describe how nearing this date feels. However, I can assure you its much better than the first time I had… ok lets leave it there.. :) (insert what ever word that comes to mind and let your lovely imagination run as wild as it wants)

Even though the four years have passed by within a blink of an eye (and I don’t just mean it for empty rhetoric), looking forward to the near short term reminds me that the “experience” is not yet over. Yes ladies and gentlemen, 3 more lecturers from my esteemed university will take their shots at deducting what ever they can from that beautiful cgpa of 4.0 that I had 4 years ago!

There’s issues and ethics in the helping profession, intercultural communication, and making movies! For those of you who are wondering what ever happened to my special project (the research with refugees), well I will not be doing that one with Uni. There seems to be too many fine lines (red tape is a better word) to cross and it seems like I could never really make ERB (ethics review board) happy without blatantly changing my main variable. Hence, I now plan to carry out the same research project with the aid of an NGO (hopefully one that would be interested in research in the refugee population). Gut instinct tells me that I will be working on this right after graduation.

I am a tutor assistant to abnormal psych and a sort of “general research tutor who gets to take on challenging research topics” for all research methods classes according to the course lecturer. Apparently, this same course lecturer had forewarned the students of research methods to stay away from me if they did not want to do “complicated” research. Wow.. well.. my shameless 4th year-ness shall take that as a total compliment. The experiences with the abnormal psych class is a bit different as we will be focusing on a major qualitative study (for assignments). Given that I don’t have much experience nor affinity towards qualitative work (grilling given to me by my RM guru). I am quite contempt cause its going to be a good grounding towards clinical school! Yay!

There were a zillion of new faces when I walked into school this term (well, not really a zillion, but you know what I am trying to get at). The apparent innocent look on most their faces is telling enough. I just cant wait to see them in a year from now. The looks on the 2nd year students is evidence enough that psych school is no play ground and that your face will be dragged through the dirt until you think you want to take that leap off that cliff… those of you who are new, and are reading this, and are telling your selves, “aww shiitt.. this fella crazy.. he’s just trying to scare me”.. well you are right… I am crazy, but I aint shitting you man… psych school is anything but “easy”. The reward after 4 years (or 3 for some lesser of you hawhaw) is worth every drop of blood.

I have given some thought about my bloggin style this year (part of the beautiful resolution that I made) and here is what you will get.

“the person inside of me” articles that tries to ridicule my existence shall continue. Since people in general like to hear stories about what I am doing, and since when people ask me “so, how’s it going” I like to answer them (just to annoy them) read my blog haha, that particular section will stay.
“focus on mental health”: this section will be utilized to highlight the many faces of mental health. I would try my best to bring you posts of the world of mental health from both the scientific, and personal perspectives. As much as I would like to “categorise” and explain mental health (and the many divisions) I would like to give the reader the opportunity to look at the world of people who are concerned about either the mental well being of themselves or the people they love.
“Potty politics”: I dedicate this column/section to the wonderful people who make society living hell. This is my area to bitch unconditionally. if you are the kinda person who likes to hear gossip about others and how what they do bring misery to the people around, then do tune into “potty politics”
“pictures”: I am guilty for not representing this beautiful country (Malaysia) with the amazing photo opportunities that it gives each day. Hence, I shall try my level best, to include a photograph of stuff that I see.

That’s all folks! Should you have ideas that you think you want to share with me (or money that you just want to give me), then hit a comment!

:) Astrorat…

Law of the Land: Twisted

2006-01-07T01:54:00.000+08:00

I shall let the document below speak for itself.

The full transcript of this document is below. My apologies for those of you who had to do more than acrobatic squinting to read the above document. Many thanks to wonderful Deb for pointing out a flaw! :D

MAJLIS PERLJND!NGAN MALAYSIA AGAMA BUDDHA, KRESTIAN, HINDU DAN SIKH
Malaysian Consultative Council of Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism and Sikhism

Secretariat: No 8, Jalan Duku Off Jalan Kasipillay, 51200 Kuala Lumpur. Tel: 03 —4041 4669 FAX :603 — 40447304 E-mail:hsangampo.jaring.my

Press Statement
The MCCBCHS is very disappointed at the failure of Madam Kaliammai to get relief from the Kuala Lumpur High Court in Originating Summons No. R1-24-102-2005 in the case of Kaliammal Sinnasamy v MajIis Agama Islam Wilayah Persekutuan & 2 Ors. The High Court refused to grant an application by the Hindu wife of the late Corporal M Moorthy, a hero of the Mount Everest climb several years ago, that her late husband was a Hindu at the time of his death.

The High Court’s main reason for this decision was because the Kuala Lumpur Syariah, Court, on the application of the Islamic Affairs Council of Kuala Lumpur, had decided that Moorthy had validly converted to Islam. This ruling by the Syariah Court was made in the absence of Kaliammah, without notice to her and in a court applying Islamic law in which she cannot be a party and does not have a proper right to be heard as a witness.

The MCCBCHS is deeply concerned that lawyers representing the Federal Government did not make any argument supporting the Hindu wife despite the fact that she had absolutely no knowledge about the alleged conversion of her husband until he went into a coma. In fact, Senior Federal Counsel for the Federal Government conceded that the wife had no legal remedy in any court.

We call on the government to urgently cure this grave defect in our legal system by making the necessary amendments to the Federal Constitution and all other legislation so that jurisdiction to determine the validity of conversions into and out of Islam are vested in the High Court where all Malaysians can be parties and have equal rights as witnesses.

Corporal Moorthy’s status as a Muslim was challenged on the basis that he did not profess Islam at the time of his death.

The MCCBCHS is of the view that it is wrong for the Syariah Courts to have assumed jurisdiction over persons who do not profess Islam, and where its orders directly affect the rights of family members of a person, all of whom do not profess Islam.

The civil High Court should be able to grant relief after considering the interests of all the parties affected.
Dated this 28th day of December 2005.

Secretary General

Happy

2006-01-02T01:15:00.000+08:00

goodbye 05, hello hello 2006!

heres a toast to the lovely people of the world,
my wish, true peace. peace in the absence of war in the name of peace...

Happy New Year from astrorat...

Tippy: Healing the wounds of Self-Injury - a struggle

2005-12-26T16:16:00.000+08:00

I would like to dedicate today’s post to a close friend of mine, who been journeying in like with what “scientists” quite quickly label as “Self Injury”. Though the labeling is sometime useful in trying to communicate among “experts”, it does little to ease the pain for those like Tippy challenge them selves. I would not want to talk much about DSM or related treatment or any thing scientific. Instead, I would like to see the world the way Tippy see’s it. The following journal was written by Tippy and is published with Tippy’s consent. Just as life, this entry is long and complicated. But, I urge you to read on. I want to use the next few entries to those of you, who like Tippy, are learning to cope. And, as i said before, todays entry is a glance into Tippy's world. Thank you Tippy, for the courage you show in coming forward :)

Darkness Under Siege.

My dad once asked me “why do you think we’re all made to live if we’re just going to die at the end of the day?” We were driving along the highway – it was almost one in the morning – and I was dead tired. I shrugged and turned to face the window. My thoughts were racing though – because I knew why. I knew damn well why. But I never told him. I couldn’t.

My whole life has been a lie. I’d grown up thinking I was “normal” – whatever that means... Okay, let’s rephrase that… I’d grown up thinking everything I was going through was what everyone else went through. You see, I was the poster child for allergies – seafood, temperature changes, sweat, salt, coloring, sugar – anything really, anything at all. I had no tolerance for medication in general – I’d break out in hives. I couldn’t swim in pools (chlorine caused major itching on my part) or in the sea (the waters salt content was above my tolerance level), which didn’t stop me almost drowning when I was seven.

Yeah, that’s right. I’d almost died. Sometimes I wish I’d let myself drown. Sometimes I wish I hadn’t let myself get smart – and get back to the edge… But wishful thinking’s just that… Wishing. Nothing more. Sometimes I wonder just how capable adults are at caring for other human brings – especially children. They say they know best – they say they’ve lived through it all. They say they wish they had listened to their parents instead of being arrogant little arses… but there they are – smoking, drinking… having too good a time to realize there’s a seven-year-old girl in the deep end of the pool – shouting, sinking… dying… Everyone thought my Uncle Felix had rescued me – pulled me outta the pool, hung on to me – carried me off. Of course, he didn’t stop everyone from telling him just how lucky it was for me that he’d been there. Yeah, right. I pulled myself out thank you. I walked back to my folks, thank you very much (who, by the way, didn’t realize I was gone, offering me fruits and pineapple tartlets with salad and cake until I burst out crying). So that’s the memory that sticks out most in my childhood. Me almost dying… and no one knowing…

Of course, every so often, my dad will give me a big hug expressing his giddy excitement with the fact that I’m still alive and kicking – despite all I’d gone through as a kid. Adults are supposed to be in-tuned individuals – but sometimes they can be so clueless. Doesn’t he see I don’t give a shit about whether or not I’m “alive and kicking”?!?! Obviously not, because otherwise there’d be no problem.

I was asked by a friend of mine to share my story – so it would help others gain insight into what it’s like living in a black hole – and how people can cope with such emptiness. Reading about someone else’s sorry-ass life has never helped me – obviously. Listening to sob stories, hearing about what “the poor dear” had gone through and how it helps to share and show a little compassion is all bullocks. If it were really that easy – we’d all be happy. And we’re not.

Back in the first grade, I was beaten relentlessly on the bus on the way home from school everyday by sixth and seventh graders I barely knew. I was a skinny, scared and lonely five-year-old who had managed to piss off some very big “big kids” to the extent of needing to be put in my place. I never found out what triggered the attacks. I never found out why I was such a nuisance… why I was hated. But I’d figured for the most part – that it must’ve been something I did… or something I was…

I wasn’t wrong.

By the second term of the first year, I was a social outcast. I was too hyperactive for the girls and too much trouble for the boys. I didn’t learn anything because I couldn’t stay still. I’d be running around – poking Ashleigh, kicking Ross… running off with Annabel’s lunch box while our teacher chased me across the room, knocking other kids aside – finally… finally grabbing me around the waist and tackling me to the floor. Wrestling me into a seat in the corner and waiting for the bell to ring…

I really didn’t care about what the other kids thought of me – mostly. It wasn’t until I was in the third grade that I realized girls sat around playing with plasticine – making cookies, cakes and the odd tart with clay that had eye-catching colors and shocking names like “outrageous orange”, “ravenous red”, “ballistic blue” and “yell-out yellow” . Even the boys couldn’t stand me. If they got in trouble – they’d get time out. If they got in trouble (and I was the one who’d caused it) – it was time out, no recess, sitting silently in a corner and constant reminders of what a “bad boy” he had been. It wasn’t a surprise that I basically kept to myself during my whole elementary school experience. It was either that or be eaten alive.

I was in the LSU (Learning Support Unit) throughout grade school. I was slow in everything, so I basically wasn’t mainstreamed. I hung out with my class for art, physical education and all that rubbish – but for all the real shit? – I was catered off to a special needs class. I don’t remember anything from being in those classes – except for doing stupid things like “If I had a magic finger I would…” sentence completions… Rather useless if you ask me… but *shrugs*… Growing up for me wasn’t pretty…

It comes at no surprise when I say I don’t remember much about growing up… and to be honest? I really don’t mind at all…

Let’s just shy away from my childhood miseries for a moment, and talk about the present. About why I’ve really become a lost case… And about why I’ve been given this opportunity to bitch about life.

Life to me… has no meaning. It has no spirit. It has no light. Life – is as dark as dark can go. It’s pitch black. It’s a hole… a deep hole of perceptual chirpiness that seems to gnaw away at the very essence that is you… It eats you and for the longest time… you don’t even realize it. You don’t realize the very thing for which you strive is the very thing which accentuates all thoughts of death and release. It makes no sense. And that scares the hell outta me.

Now, I’m not depressed, and I’m sure as hell not suicidal… (which, if you’re reading this, would seem a contradicting statement) but I just don’t see any point in going on… It’s a bit like this…

You’re on a cruise ship with all your mates, your folks, your family… everyone who has ever graced your presence. The doughnut guy down on fifth, the toilet cleaner who shot you “that look” for walking into the toilet right after it’d been cleaned… Everyone… every single soul… or shell – at least.
You’re not sure exactly where you’re headed – your folks tell you it’s a secret while you’re secretly thinking Hell – but eventually… eventually the ship careens off course and starts to take on water. So people start getting off – taking supplies: food, clothes – everything you’d ever need to survive. First the people you never knew leave… Then your friends… Then your family… And finally, your parents… until there are no more lifeboats; no more jackets… no more salvation… You crash directly into a small desert island and you’re stranded. Alone.

You have with you though – a gun, a bullet and a box of chocolates… The chocolates represents all the med’s you’ll ever have to take. Zyprexa, Lithium – and all that good stuff… They cure the symptoms – but not the disease. And you can go on taking it… It’s gonna keep you going – no doubt – but for how long? A day? A week? The little extra boost of energy a small square of Cadbury can’t make up for everything else you need. The real stuff… The good stuff… The gun represents hope… and the bullet? Your last hope… See, you know, that with enough determination and willpower, you’d be able to reach the fruit in the trees, you’d be able to slaughter the wild boars, the rabbits – whatever… But you can never muster up the strength to get up… So you think to yourself… Do you want to waste the last bullet on an animal that’ll only be able to sustain you for “so long” – or would you rather keep it for yourself…?

I’d like to think it was all made up – every single bit of my tortured memoir… But if it were – I’d be asleep… It’s three in the morning and I’m still pouring out my heart and soul – unable to get what I desperately need. Rest. Afraid that if I close my eyes – I’d wake up dead, and unable to continue writing. To share – to help…

Sometimes my life is just filled with moments of paranoia – “Oh shit, I’m flunking a subject – my life’s over” “Damn, I lost fifty quid – I’d gonna be homeless” – stupid little thoughts that manage to squeeze their way into my relatively large cerebrum… That manage to nestle themselves in between “get an education” and “make enough money to support your folks in old age” – making just plain living an unacceptable term and/or belief.

It’s no wonder I want to give up. Getting rid of thoughts that pollute your every dream – your every waking moment… Getting rid of anything that threatens your future… It’s human nature – but it’s as hard as hell… Self injury doesn’t work. Drugs don’t work. Drinking yourself silly works – but only for awhile… until you’re sober enough to realize the alcohol did nothing more than spike the thoughts and fuel their spirits. It’s like you’re trapped on one of those tea-cup rides at the seaside (summer) carnival… Your “cup-mates” are spinning the little wheel in the middle of the cup – making you feel ill with every little rotation – or movement for that matter. It really makes no sense at all as to why don’t won’t give in to your pleas to just sit back and enjoy the ride. But that’s what depression is isn’t? It’s a black hole that no one understands – it’s a concept that’s so utterly abstract – that it’s almost tangible to sane individuals. Almost…but not quite.

It’s almost four now… And I’m ready to drop. My clock says it’s four – when it really could still be three – but I just don’t know. I’m not going to bother about what time it is, because I’m just going to go… This is all I’m going to write for now. I have so much more to say – and if you can bear with me – I’ll have part two ready for viewing after the holidays – in late December or early January.

Christmas is a day away – and I hate to admit it – but I’m not looking forward to it. My birthday’s coming up in exactly one week – and I’m not looking forward to that either… It’s good to know depression does well in sucking the life outta everything – doesn’t it? One of life’s (ironic) miracles… *shakes head*

I bet it was all Pandora’s fault… Who asked her to open the bloody box anyway? Curiosity should’ve killed her really – instead of the cat (who I suppose, was really an innocent little thing… that did nothing… to stop her either… Damn it!)…. But, oh wait… it did didn’t it?

Alright, that’s it. I’m off to bed – sleep off this migraine… and hopefully this cloud. It’s a busy day tomorrow – so pray I don’t lose it.

Love,
Tippy.

This essay was given to me by Tippy. By reading it, i would hope that the reader is able to catch a glimpse of Tippy's world.

Merry...

2005-12-25T15:26:00.000+08:00

Astrorat wishes you a Merry Christmas!

The following poem is dedicated to all my beautiful blog friends! To all of you who make this site truly worth every second! Merry Christmas

Minstrels: a Christmas Poem by William Wordsworth

The minstrels played their Christmas tune
To-night beneath my cottage-eaves;
While, smitten by a lofty moon,
The encircling laurels, thick with leaves,
Gave back a rich and dazzling sheen,
That overpowered their natural green.

Through hill and valley every breeze
Had sunk to rest with folded wings:
Keen was the air, but could not freeze,
Nor check, the music of the strings;
So stout and hardy were the band
That scraped the chords with strenuous hand.

And who but listened?--till was paid
Respect to every inmate's claim,
The greeting given, the music played
In honour of each household name,
Duly pronounced with lusty call,
And "Merry Christmas" wished to all.

Have a happy one....

I Learnt About Peace

2005-12-23T05:16:00.000+08:00

It’s the time of the year that’s harped about so much all around the world, but I am passing this season with a certain amount of sadness. It’s a feeling of helplessness and hopelessness. The celebration, the gift giving, the money spent, the singing, the cheer, the joy, the happiness, the jingles, the colours, the décor, the tree, the cribs, the parties, the dances, the dinners, the … stop stop stop… On the other side of this world of cheer is a world made of hatred, war, crime, pain, anger, poverty, starvation, anguish, death, destruction, killing, murder, darkness, and utter devastation.

This was the central theme of the Perdana Global Peace Forum. If anything happened, then that must be the fact that my eyes were open to a part of the world that many of us are neither aware of, nor want to acknowledge. Be this the war that’s raged on the people of Iraq, the war raged on the people of Afghanistan, the killing in New York, London, Bali, or the wars that have eluded humanity in Palestine. These events were the core of the discussions at the Perdana Global Peace Forum that took place in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia in December 2005.

The forum provided with its participants the other side of the “War on terror”, the “quest for black gold”. The forum spoke about how the so called “champions” of peace are indeed war mongers. The forum thought me that the United states of America, the same great nation that conferred my own degree in Psychology. This is the same great nation that thought self-proclamation claimed to be the “police” nation of the world with great plans to eradicate the world of terrorism. It is the same nation that claimed to free the people of Iraq from a tyrant who was responsible for the killing of about 200 people, were in fact were responsible for the deaths of more than 3 million innocent Iraqi’s due to both military action and economic embargo.

I learnt that the greatest weapons of mass destruction is not found in Iraq or Afghanistan, but instead are owned and were used in modern day by the United states and United Kingdom in the name of terrorism. The sulphur “bomb” and other “smart” missiles were responsible for the death and destruction of nearly a million innocent Iraqi people.

I learnt that the greatest motivator for war is the drive for money making. The attitude to conquer the resources of others and profit as a result. This in essence is modern day colonialism. The Government of the United states of America is doing to Iraq and Afghanistan what England did to Asia. They are dividing Iraq so that they are able to harvest oil for their own benefit.

i learnt that the George W Bush is as equally evil, if not more evil, as Sadam Hussain. George W Bush is directly responsible for the death of more than 3 million innocent civilians world wide. He is directly responsible for the violation of human rights in the abuse of innocent people in detention canters that are not within the borders of America.

I learnt that peace can never be achieved unless war mongers such as GW Bush, Sadam Husain, Tony Blair, and John Howard are tried for war crime against humanity.

I learnt that the world was 10seconds away from total destruction thanks to a tense moment between nuclear powers such as Russia and America. America that demands nuclear disarmament world wide has the largest number of nuclear arsenal. She has enough fire power to destroy the world 5 times over with the touch of a button.

I learnt that media such as CNN and BBC presented to the world the lies that George W Bush created. Further, these two media corporations made a monster out of alternate media corporations such as Al Jazera. The president of the United states must have been afraid to show the world the death and destruction that the “shock and awe” created.

I learnt that it is important for people to stand up for what is right. And war is wrong. Be it war against terror, or war for terror. The world now has more “terrorist” attacks than it had when the United states set forth a process of destruction.

I learnt that the trial of Sadam Husain, does not conform to any strands of international regulation or conduct that America preaches. The war on Iraq is largely illegal. The installation of a government system by the Americans in Iraq is illegal by standards of international law.

I learnt that I every human being needs to stand up for peace. And this should not just be empty rhetoric. Not just words written on a blog published on the web. I need to stand up now and be counted to stop war world wide. I have deeply understood that attending the global peace forum has opened my eyes in a special way to teach me that the world needs peace NOW and I have to stand up to work towards it.

We celebrate Christmas at a time when the world around us crumbles and falls. Yet, we do exactly what we did when Rwanda was massacred. We ignored the cries her cries. And now, a larger more destructive force threatens to destroy the basis of human freedom and human rights. Our attention is focused at buying into the treats that media and popular culture promises us. We now risk annihilating the our very human existence.

The accounts in the article were based on the research findings presented at the Perdana Global Peace Forum. For in-depth details presented here, please visit www.perdana4peace.org

Exotic Animal sex!

2005-12-22T23:18:00.000+08:00

I can imagine how the very title could repulse some of you. i seriously risk getting the "hai astrorat. you are such a pervert. i hate you" emails.

But, this ones has to be posted. check out this video for more "graphic" details! (comon click it.. i know you want to.... :p)

I have been working on an article that could encompass my thoughts of the recent peace conference. That ones coming up soon!

The Christmas sprits in me… from my nose and all the way down to my toes :)

Bloggers invited as MEDIA!

2005-12-16T00:21:00.000+08:00

oh ohh ohh.. this just in... as the title suggests... yes... you heard me, The 'organisers' of the Perdana Global Peace Forum have invited 4 Malaysian 'bloggers' as media personal. Now, how cool is that? Its really fantastic news!

Check out the following malaysian superstars !

Brand New Malaysia

Jeff Oii

MageP's Lab

Yvonne Foong

Just added: TV Smith (thanks SK)

And also the 'official' blogsite @ PGPF

Its really a great achievement for bloggers in Malaysia! hats off to you guys! :)

To top the cheese cake Dr. Mahathir (the Malaysian Ex PM who's not been afraid to slpash more than his current counterpart) stated that it is important that in order to find the truth and strive for world peace, alternate forms of media, such as the internet, should be encouraged. This was in context of his statements about the USA's control over media that reports news on Iraq.

Its very unusual to find him support the 'alternate' and 'other side of the coin' media sources. After all, Malaysiakini, an online newspaper, had its fair share of trouble during his 'leadership'. Perhaps he's gone soft in the middle! ;)

"its probably a small victory for the blogers, but a HUGE victory for alternate media!"

Global Peace Forum & a Look at “War Mongers”

2005-12-15T22:58:00.000+08:00

It was the first day of the Perdana Global Peace Forum and I have learnt a such a huge quantity of information about social justice, peace, war, the lack of the three, and about the perpetrators of war.

The Perdana global peace forum is an international event organised in Malaysia by the ex prime ministers - Dr. Mahathir Mohamad.

The vastness and complex nature of the event calls for more thought before I put my thoughts together and write out any decent article. As for experience, I spent the entire day from 8 AM till 7PM discussing debates from the perspectives of world leaders. As exciting as it was to meet them ‘hotshots’ in person, I am elated at the fact that there’s more from where that came from!

I am too tired to do anything else right now, but felt a sense of urgency to share the urgent call for ‘the need for world peace’. Now more than ever, the world (according to the words of all esteemed speakers) needs peace (and yes ladies and gentlemen, the world needs something done NOW). I don’t do much justice to this piece that I am writing cause I am going to leave you hanging. But what I plan to do, is to compile my thoughts about how this forum has helped shape my mind.

With that said, I truly urge appreciate the attempt made by the Malaysian NGO’s in pioneering a movement with an Asian focus, towards world peace. And this ladies and gentlemen aint just rhetoric. This aint the typical miss universe “I will save the world and the starving kids” talk. This was an attempt made by world leaders (the list of names who you will see in my previous post).

I am deelply moved by my experience. Good Night! :)

A letter to HELP Univeristy College

2005-12-14T14:05:00.000+08:00

Dear Management, Staff, and students of HELP University College,

Hail the Government of Malaysia for making attempts to reduce the number of smokers in the country! Recently the Vice Chancellor of University Sains Malaysia pointed out a mockery made by the Malaysian government's enforcement system in relation the enforcement of the ‘smoke free pact’ that the nation had signed. The Chancellor was not impressed in some members of the country allowing large tobacco companies organise the “international tobacco conference” here in Kuala Lumpur. Further, to rub salt to the nations battered efforts in curbing tobacco use, the VC didn’t think very much about the national airline offering to be the ‘official’ carrier for the event.

While this debate about proper enforcement was raging, another debate much like this was brewing at HELP University. The situation is this. Is it right to place ‘park’ type benches in close proximity to the fire escape of the building. So close that smoke from the their breath frequently gets into enclosed air conditioning vents. So close that the boundary that sets the smokers away from those who dare ask for clean air on campus has become all but ‘smoky’. Its is not unusual to find cigarette buds scattered in the back exit ways of level 4 and level 3 of KPD block E. It is no unusual to find cigarette buds at the entrance to the campus building, inside elevators, and all corridors that lead inside.

The behaviour of the some tycoon smokers has become more of living their own right to smoke while ignoring the rights of non-smokers and their plea for a smoke free university/college entrance and/or environment.

While the local universities have taken bold steps in setting a bench mark towards smoking on campus by exclude all smokers from campus. The Local universities are uniting to reject university applications (both student and staff) from smokers. Though I don’t go that far as to blatantly disrespect the sad needs of the smoker to indulge in poisoning his/her-self (its your right to die if you want to), I how ever believe that justice needs to be served to protect the rights of the non smokers who demand a smoke free environment. By allowing people to smoke within campus of within 5 Meters of campus grounds is by no means serving justice to this large population.

The VC of USM rightly points out the national divide on smoking policy (i.e. to smoke or not to smoke). Some feel that it should be allowed, while some feel that it should be totally banned. However, most feel that allowing students to smoke at educational esteemed institutions fall drastically short of setting of proper academic, social, and leadership standards.

The question to ask yourself is has HELP university adequately set standards towards smoking (or the lack of it) to represent government agenda. Apart from printing odd poster that and equally strange statement in the ‘blue’ program hand book issued by the Department of American Degree Program, that reads “butt off… smoking is strictly prohibited at HELP institute” (strictly was originally in bold italics), nothing is being done to enforce that “strict” code into conduct.

I urge the management of HELP to change the current nonchalant attitude towards smoking on campus and make the following recommendations that would help enforce no-smoking on campus ground for the benefit those who demand a smoke free environment.

1. Strictly enforce the NO-SMOKING regulations as that required by the government. It is our right as students to have a smoke free environment within the campus grounds. This is not just my opinion, but is to a large extent government policy. Universities and colleges are a place of public interest and hence rules that encourage and public safety must apply.

2. Introduce severe penalties for those who violate campus "NO-SMOKING" regulations. This means taking a an active role, in stopping the practice of smoking within campus. No Smoking signs (or the lack of it) would not promote no-smoking behaviour. It is important that staff both academic and non-academic be enforced to take action if needed.

3. Actively take part in more ANTI-smoking campaigns. To make sure that the university stands out and sends a clear message about the consequence of smoking, and the effort that it would put into getting its students to kick the habit. The ambivalent attitude that university currently takes teaches young students that it is okay to smoke, just as long as you are doing it ‘behind my back’. But in reality, the real consequences of smoking is far more serious and needs to be addressed immediately.

4. Negative stereotypes and negative attitudes towards smoking should be encouraged. There should be no reason to be ashamed of it either. If university is a facility of learning, then students should not be thought wrong values. It is generally accepted (and I am not going to cite) that smoking is harmful to health. As a premier private university, HELP should lead by example and make a public appeal to ban smoking.

5. Psychologists (or Psychologists-to-be) SHOULD have a positive influence on human behaviour. Any form of training, that undergraduate psychology students experience, should be one that fosters the development of ‘positive’ values in them. Attitudes that foster negative behaviours (in this case smoking) should be discouraged.

It important that an active enforcement of what already seems to be university policy (strictly no smoking) should be encouraged for the benefit of those who plead for a clean environment both inside and outside the school premises. Though the said rule may not be ‘just’ rules, they are nevertheless there to protect the wellbeing of the students, and to encourage a healthy lifestyle. These rules do not by them selves solve the issue. There needs to be an active enforcement of these rules.

Take your dirty hands off…

2005-12-08T01:13:00.000+08:00

In the name of protecting the valuables of an organization, security procedures must be in place, and subsequently, there will be rules that govern that organization. It is also true that rules are simple written statements about what needs to be done in a given instance. Rules however do not dictate or explain procedures or protocols of behaviour either by its enforcers or the people on the other side of the coin!

This explanation highlights an incident that occurred today, at the main library of my campus. Regulations say that the library staff have the right to check your bags upon when you leave the building. Obviously since management never thought about a bag handling counter, this ‘rule’ needs to be in place to make sure that library property is not vandalised or stolen. Rules however do not lead to accepted forms of “checking” behaviour.

Let me get straight to the point. It is unacceptable by any standards that library staff insert their hands into student bags, sacks, briefcases, … (insert what you carry). Specially so because 1. The staff members are not respecting students ‘privacy’ 2. They do not wear gloves and hence their hands carry germs, disease, infections 3. They can place objects, items, pills, packets, or anything like that which can put students in trouble with the law (Now I know you are thinking that they are nice people and all woopsidoo, but that’s not the point. Lots of nice people have cause the lots of other nice people endless misery in the past).

As a student, I think it is within my right to cooperate with the necessary checks. As such, I strongly (and make no mistake about it I will not change my opinion on this one) believe that if any bag checks need to be made, then security or staff must make sure that it is the student who shows them the contents of the bag.

Here’s what transpired today

Astrorat: hi how’s it going. (noticing other students show their bags) Hold on a sec let me get my bag on the counter (I was carrying a travel bag in my right hand, a transparent file/folder and 3 books in my left.)

Staff: (doesn’t say anything, but attempts to open my bad)

Astrorat: Please do not touch my bag, I will show you the contents my self. (proceeds to open zipper of bag)

Staff: (ignores what I said and starts pulling my file)

Astrorat: I told you, please do not touch my things. I will show you the contents my self

Staff: (ignores, says nothing, and proceeds to insert hand inside bag)

Astrorat (irritated) I told you don’t touch my bag (looks real pissed)

Staff: (irritated and a tone of rudeness) What?

Astrorat: I said don’t touch my bag, I will show it to you myself

Staff: if that’s the case then you should leave it out (points outside towards an empty space that leads to the elevator/entrance)

Astrorat: I could lave it outside if you had a bag handling place and since you don’t, it is writing my right to bring my bag in just like every one else. Besides You have no right to touch my bag.

Staff: (cutting me off) Just go. Just go

Astrorat: (really pissed) Your management and the rest of the worlds going hear about this.

Ok first. I am not obsessed with cleanliness nor am I showing symptoms of OCD. I am angry cause I feel violated. My bag belongs to me. It is my private space. It is my shrine. As such touching the contents of my bag violates my rights.

Second, Library staff do not have the right to be rude to students for reasons that I don’t understand. I am clearly aware that I did not raise my voice or act irritated until he continued to do exactly what I told him not to.

Third, no one gives him the right to insert his hands in my bag. He may have the right to check it, but that’s with my consent and my showing him. It is my duty to show my bag or produce it for inspection. In this case, I did not say no.

Fourth, he has no right to give me ultimatums. To tell me to that I leave my bag outside if I cant let him insert his filthy (I don’t know where it has been in the past hour) hands in it?

Fifth, what’s with the dismissing attitude of “just go” as if he was chasing off a trouble maker? Where’s respect for students?

I encourage that management do adequate justice to stop this harassment of students. I suggest that ethical protocol and procedures be established for all security checks on campus.

Global Peace Forum: Malaysia

2005-12-07T23:52:00.000+08:00

Malaysia

is hosting/organising the “Perdana Global Peace Forum".

According to the Ex-prime minister of Malaysia (Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad), It’s a forum to “search for peace” (incidentally he is one of the speakers at the forum). The forum streches for 4 days (including the opening and closing) in December.

Other speakers are:

Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad (Former Prime Minister, Malaysia),
The Hon. Samdech Hun Sen (Prime Minister of the Kingdom of Combodia),
HSH Prince Alfred of Liechtenstein (Chairman of the Advisory Board, International Peace Foundation),
His Eminence Cardinal Pedro Rubiano Sáenz (Supreme Catholic Cardinal of Colombia),
The Hon. R.J.L - Bob Hawke (Former Prime Minister of Australia),
The Hon. Mr George Galloway (MP & Leader, Respect The Unity Coalition Party, UK),
Mr. Denis J. Halliday (Former United Nations Assistant Secretary General),
Mr. Hans-Christof Von Sponeck (Former United Nations Assistant Secretary General),
Mr Michael Carmichael (Chairman, The Planetary Movement Ltd. United Kingdom),
Dr. Helen Caldicott (Founder & President, Nuclear Policy Research Institute),
Sir Iqbal AKM Sacranie (Secretary General. The Muslim Council of Britain, United Kingdom),
Prof Francis A. Boyle (Professor of law, University of Illinois School of Law),
Mr. Nafeez Mosaddeq Ahmed (Executive Director of the Institute for Policy Research & Development),
Prof. Michel Chossudovsky (Director & Editor Canada),
Mr William Clark (Author & Manager of Performance Improvement, USA),
Tariq Ali (Writer, Film-Maker & Editor United Kingdom),
Mr Daniel Ellsberg (Anti-War Activist USA),
Mr Larry Everest (Journalist USA),
Mr Michel Vatikiotis (Regional Representative, HD Centre for Humanitarian Dialogue Singapore),
Mr Eric Garris (Webmaster, Antiwar.com /Managing Editor USA),
Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf (Chairman Cordoba Initiative USA),
Dr. Ben Mollov (Lecturer of Inter-Disciplinary, Department of Social Science Israel)
Mr Pratap Chatterjee (Managing Editor, CorpWatch.org & Authorof Iraq Inc, USA), Mr. Jimmy Massey (Author & Iraq Veteran USA),
Mr Justin Raimondo (Editorial Director, antiwar.com),
Tan Sri Azman Hashim (Chairman, Board of Trustees, PLF),
Tan Sri Razali Ismail (UN Special Envoy for Mynmar),
Tan Sri Dato’ Seri (Dr) Ahmad Sarji Abdul Hamid (Chairman, Institute of Islamic Understanding MALAYSIA),
Tan Sri Datuk Noordin Sopiee (Chairman & CEO, Institute of Strategic & International Studies - Malaysia),
Tan Sri Abu Talib Othman (Chairman, Human Right Commission of Malaysia),
Dato’ Dr. Ronald McCoy (Past President, International Physician for the Preventive Against Nuclear War),
Dato’ Mukhriz Mahathir (Co-ordinator, AMAN Malaysia),
Dato’ Munir A. Majid (exChairman, Malaysia Airlines),
Dr. Chandra Muzaffar (President, International Movement For A Just World)
Prof Shad S. Faruqi (Professor of Law, Universiti Teknologi MARA)

And to ice the lovely cake of speaker, his Ex Abdula Badawi (the current Prime Minister of Malaysia) will be presenting a key note speech!

Could it get any cooler? Could it? Could it ever?

Of course it can!

I am invited! :)

yay! i am so excited! I really have no thoughts about this forum right now. i have been contemplating on what i could learn out of it. Its ironic how this happens a day after my previous post on the conflict on Sri Lanka! it either confirms pure chance or that a Blog-God exists!

Either way, i am ecstatic about the opportunity.

Reflections of another world: Sri Lanka

2005-12-07T01:24:00.000+08:00

And so that’s the end of Conflict resolution as a course! After the grand final paper, and a big and fat steak with a close fiend I thought I need to do some justice to the hours of drooling and aimless pondering in class.

I was reading up on conflict resolution and its causes and kept wondering how the crisis and conflict Sri Lanka can be fit into a page on my page! Though ‘fitting’ Sri Lanka into a page might not really do justice to the true extent of conflict there, i hope this would help those of you who may not really know what’s going on there. While I don’t claim to know every thing going on in that little island place, I do have some amount of experience living the misery for quite sometime.

So, I would like to dedicate this post to the people of Sri Lanka, who in my opinion have been robed of their human dignity by eager political fractions (both ruling and opposition), and a rebel force.

I used my notes to help form a skeleton structure along which I shall write. I identified the following useful dimensions to explore the effects of civil war in Sri Lanka.

Social Issues:

Child soldiers: LTTE’s recruitment of children as war heroes. There’s even a celebration of child worriers. Though the LTTE claims that they do not recruit any more children as worriers, this fact is yet to be proven.
Civilian casualties: Government stats that have said “64000” for the past 8 years. That number is far from reality. The number of civilians dead is much higher. A huge number of people, perhaps in the thousands are unaccounted for.
Drug abuse: the number of reported drug users on the rise. This also includes the increased use of alcohol. Curiously a 400ML bottle of beer is cheaper than most other beverages.
Rape, abuse, and humiliation: the rape of women by the military and the militia. While media reports on this has been scarce, there have been a number of cases of abuse. Perhaps not dominant after the recent peace agreement, but that does not mean that it did not occur in the past.
Internally and externally displaces persons: The flood of refugees from Sri Lanka to India, the United Kingdom, America, Canada, Australia, and Thailand have not been accounted for. The fact that people choose to leave their home country for a “better” place reflect back on an inherent problem rather than their lack of patriotism.

Health issues:

Decline of Health care facilities: It is true that the health facilities in the capital of Colombo is up to ‘standards’. However, this is like saying that the health services of the USA is great because the services in Washington is wonderful. War torn regions in t he countries north and north east have long been having an inadequate health services. This issue was compounded by the ongoing war and the recent Tsunami.
HIV/AIDS: as much as parties do now want to admit, there has been an increase in the number of people living with AIDS in Sri Lanka. The UNDP estimates the number of people living with AIDS based on 1998 stats and put the number in 2003 at approximately 4000 adults. But, reality lies somewhere else. (http://www.youandaids.org/). Along with aids, Sexually transmitted infections (STI) are said to increase too.
Mental health: Increase in cases of clinical depression, suicides, PTSD, and anxiety type disorders. This data has been reported from colleagues working at NGO’s in the country. In a nut shell, Sri Lanka lacks any form of meaning full mental health program or assessment there of. The reason has been that precious funds have been channelled to “facilitate” the countries war efforts.

Economic issues:

Affect on economic development: Staggering economic development as indicated by the raise in inflation rates. The fall of the currency and the lack of Sri Lankan businesses in international markets.
Absence of skilled workers. The brain drain. The exodus of workers to other nations. Why? You do know what happened to those who stayed on the titanic right?
Country moves backward: Where is Sri Lanka compared to where it was 20 years ago? Where is Sri Lanka going to be in the next 20 years. It clearly lacks any vision. Its main focus: war. Economist have become war mongers. I say this because the government spends huge sums of its budget on defence and war. Ok.. and how are people gaining?

Political issues:

Conflict that never resolves: ok, sounds like intractable conflict doesn’t it? But, is this conflict really as a result of the people choosing to conflict or two very political agendas sparking. The LTTE and the government have more to gain by prolonging conflict rather than resolving it. How about business from the sale/purchase of arms?
Corruption: corrupt government officials. Bribe taking policies. For obvious reasons, i cant give you any example other than saying that each time a certain political party is thrown out of power, along with its exit, opens a can of worms that paints a picture that isn’t as virtues as the party would have had hoped to have shown.
“brain drain”: lack of intelligent political planning. The biggest concern: lets prepare for conflict.
Ideological focus: increase in the communist manifesto. This form of communism that propagates hatred against marginalised comities and identifies marginalised communities as the “cause” for the trouble. Increase participation of “Buddhist-monks” in politics. The spread of hate messages by the same.
Role models: or the lack of it.

Psychological Issues:

Mental health issues: Disorders: as mentioned under health dimensions. Outlined earlier. Sri Lanka has an absence of mental health research of mental health services.
A society that has learnt that aggression as an accepted form of retaliation. More and more incidences of violent incidences that are continuously increasing in intensity have been reported from non-war regions.
Children who experience aggression and violence: the cycle starts with their parents and eventually continues into the child life. The circle will continue. Where will it end? Or will it end at all?
Absence of respect and recognition for youth:

And finally to you the leaders who make the decisions that affects millions of people: may you rot in hell. On the personal side, the nations has left me pondering if I will ever really fit in there any more. The picture I just painted, though incomplete, is bleak. Right now, the issues may not seem to be alot or may seem irrelavent but they probably paint a picture of the world as i once saw.

For now, home is where I am ;)

A tribute to Nayagam (1942-2005)

2005-12-01T13:58:00.000+08:00

I am grateful for the wonderful memories of you that are etched in my mind.